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D&D chatter

Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by Wiwaxia, Mar 3, 2015.

  1. Socket

    Socket Probably Procrastinating

    Last night, we had our first character death of the game, and wow, didn't know how emotional that was gonna be. It was a hefty session even before that - we'd just had a very intense encounter via scrying baisin with our main antagonist of this arc, and Nothing may have sold the group out by telling her their names. In her defense, she did that under very heavy blackmail. And an NPC we'd recently discovered was with us rather than against us met a pretty terrible fate, which I hope wasn't our fault! (The DM even paused to think mid-session and went, "....I just killed Mister Hand, didn't I. I did not think that was going to happen today.")

    And then the antagonist loosed her manticore on us. And Spindle was all out of Wild Shapes. And he forgot just how delicate he is as just a tiny gnome child with an AC of 12, rather than a giant bobcat, and got in melee range of the manticore. I lost count of how many potions our ranger got down him before the thing managed to keep him down. The manticore went down a single turn too late - if the dragon that came in to help hadn't rolled TWO SIMULTANEOUS NAT ONES on its attempt to break down the wall with advantage because it's a wall, Spindle would have made it. It was rough, you guys! I didn't realise how invested you can end up in this! There were tears at the table (not mine, I miraculously did not but only by a slim-ass margin)!

    If Nothing's attempt to plead with her patron for some way to bring him back doesn't work, we'll just have to carry Spindle's memory forward by spreading the game of darts far and wide and telling everyone about the gross little feral gnome kid who happened to invent it. Darts will become THE pub game of this entire setting, in every tavern, everywhere, we will see to it. And true to Spindle form, we'll hustle everyone at it, too.

    On a lighter note.......!!!

    We fought some animate carpets earlier in the session! And in this fight, where almost nobody else got hurt at all, Nuth managed to reduce herself to almost half her HP by

    a) getting engulfed by a carpet
    b) accidentally being stabbed by Faeleth who was trying to cut her out of the carpet
    c) thinking, "hey, carpets are flammable, fuck you carpet!" when she got out of the carpet and using Fire Bolt, setting the carpet alight, and,
    d) immediately being re-engulfed by the carpet, but now this time it's on fire.

    I'm so glad she's a tiefling. Fire resistance is good. The carpet burned itself away completely as it tried to constrict her again but yeeeeahhh.....I learned a valuable lesson about when 'ooooh i bet i can set this on fire!' is not a good thought!
    • Like x 4
    • Winner x 2
  2. hyrax

    hyrax if my heart could beat it would break my chest

    things got BUCK WILD last night in our Pathfinder game!

    last week, we infiltrated a keep that guards a mountain pass, with the intention of closing the pass. we passed ourselves off as travelers looking to stay the night, and got inside the keep. we found a room with three guards and thought "ok this is a good spot to start, let's take out these three guys." well we took out two of them, but the third fired his crossbow out the window... with a screaming bolt. he alerted the ENTIRE KEEP and soon guys started pouring in. every round more guys showed up. they were all pretty low level (and the GM was rolling pretty bad) so we held our own, even when the bosses showed up. since we had started the fight in an inside room, rather than outside the keep, we managed to keep them bottlenecked so they were tripping over each other and sometimes had no room to move. the main boss of this keep was a cavalier (who rode a wyvern!!), but since we were inside he couldn't do his charge and overrun cavalier stuff-- honestly this went about as well as assaulting an entire military installation with 5 people can go.

    all told, we took out over FORTY guards. forty. i've never done this kind of siege in a d&d game and it was a really cool experience! i didn't think to take a screenshot of the roll20 page until late in the fight, but you can see all the dead and unconscious guards lined up on the side there... the GM ruled that there were so many bodies piled up by the door, it counted as difficult terrain.

    Screen Shot 2017-10-11 at 10.34.31 PM.png
    • Winner x 9
  3. Jean

    Jean Let’s stop procrastinating -- tomorrow!

    guess who's poking around kintsugi instead of working on the campaign she's supposed to be running soon

    that's right! it's me!

    who thought coming up with three separate-but-related dramatically corrupt-in-subtly-different-ways city-states again? and who thought a jail break adventure was a good idea? i don't want to draw prison maps. /whinewhine

    • Witnessed x 4
  4. Socket

    Socket Probably Procrastinating

    In the wake of our Druid's tragic demise, our DM offered us one chance to ask a question about any in-world thing and get an honest answer. One we will only know OOC until such time our characters gain the knowledge.

    So. We've had a curiosity burning in our pocket for a solid five sessions or so: a fancy ring Nuth found, that we learned was Very Strongly Magical but failed to find any info on. She wears it on her middle finger for optimal snazzy bird-flipping. (At one point the DM checked to make sure I'd not stashed it in my Bag of Holding, in the universal DM tone that implies that something Sure Would Happen.)

    We asked our question, and we got our answer: It's only a BLOODY WISH RING, isn't it??? If our characters only knew. If only.

    And on trying to retrieve a shiny rock of sentimental value from the bag to place on Spindle's grave, Nuth came up empty. And he had her roll a percentile die. Twice, because she tried again.

    And that's how Nuth knows there's something wrong with the bag. And how I know it's a Bag of Devouring.


    *muffled screaming into my hands*
    • Like x 4
    • Witnessed x 3
    • Winner x 2
  5. NevermorePoe

    NevermorePoe Nevermore

    • Winner x 4
  6. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    • Like x 1
  7. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    Unfortunately, it seems that Pathfinder Online is an EVE clone, so... money laundering scheme and dysfunction playground, not my idea of fun.
    • Informative x 2
  8. Erica

    Erica occasionally vaguely like a person

    i'm running a text-based campaign (D&D 5e) on discord and i'm super nervous about it so expect talk about that at some point BUT FIRST

    they're an established party of 4 (with occasional other guests) & are like level 8 iirc? they just got done doing something big and have now been sent on a quest to get rid of a group of lizardfolk that has been terrorizing a small village. i'm a paladin (her name is ceidil and i miss her) heading to the same place they are, but the DM has given me a different reason to be there. thanks to my sibling ACCIDENTALLY SETTING IT UP FUCKING PERFECTLY, HOLY SHIT, this reason goes unknown for basically the entire fucking session

    the conversation goes something like this:
    ceidil: "What is your purpose here?"
    sibling's character, interrupting the others: "We're here to deal with the lizard problem!"
    ceidil: "The... lizard problem. I suppose that's one way to put it... "

    thanks to sibling being sufficiently distracting/hyperactive in their IC talk, no one questions this. we conclude since our goals align, we should go together.

    several hours and a whole fucking dungeon later, one of the others finally straight up says "lizardfolk" out loud. Ceidil freezes up, turns to her, and says "Lizardfolk? I- I thought you were here to kill the dragon??"

    they yelled at the DM (and at me) for 10 minutes straight. my sibling nearly cried. (their character did.) i've never been more satisfied with anything i've ever done than i am with the delivery of this. god fucking bless dnd
    • Winner x 13
    • Like x 1
  9. Jean

    Jean Let’s stop procrastinating -- tomorrow!

    First time DMing is tomorrow!!! *jitters nervously*
    • Winner x 10
  10. Jean

    Jean Let’s stop procrastinating -- tomorrow!

  11. Loq

    Loq cursed blue crab pincher

    My orc barbarian tends to lose track of his coinage but wakes quickly and is a Huge Fucker, so when we're in town he doesn't bother with lodgings. The Main Town is divided into Human and Gnome quarters halves; Sunscourge has just camped out in a random side street in the gnome side of town.

    Courtesy of several off-the-cuff arguments with our "boss" and party banter, the side street now has its own story.
    Formerly known as Cobbler Street-- for pies, not shoes-- the food was what brought him in at first. (Sunscourge is Very Food-Motivated.) It is now Orc Alley, because there's a goddamn nine-foot-tall orc camping in it at unpredictable times. The guards have tried to kick him out a few times, but... "they're footballs". They are proportionally small enough-- it has been ruled in combat-- that he can just punt them across town if he pleases.
    The guards have stopped trying to kick him out after an incident involving a young Cadet Schmimblebob being thrown through the poor baker's window. Do Not Wake The Orc. It is Orc's Alley.

    I didn't intend to play an Evil character but Sunscourge sure is turning out to have a mean streak :P
    • Winner x 5
    • Like x 1
  12. Jean

    Jean Let’s stop procrastinating -- tomorrow!

    Two things I am determined to include in this campaign: insect people who are struggling with a cordyceps-type zombie apocalypse, and a giant mushroom forest where the effects of eating, inhaling spores, or touching with bare skin are a random amount of distortion to everything the player does, determined by a roll of the dice where which die they roll depends on how high their constitution saving throw was. A 20 means they only have to roll a d4. A 1 means they have to roll a d20.
    • Like x 3
    • Winner x 3
  13. Erica

    Erica occasionally vaguely like a person

    I'm running a text-based d&d 5e campaign & we like... just started. They're still in the starting village, on the first fucking day.

    Pc 1 (name: threat) gets a corrosive/corrupting/Bad substance on her finger from fighting weird things. They don't know what it is but everything disposable that got the substance on it is being burnt, so she asks someone if she needs to burn her finger too. He tells her it should be fine to just wash it off, as long as none of it got in her blood, and if it did, well, she can either cut it off or just head over to [local place] & they can have a look, heal her if she's infected.

    threat immediately grabs her axe and chops her own finger off.

    it then takes us all like a full minute to realise this is the same axe she was fighting the things with, and if she wasn't infected before, well, there you fucking go, and i just....

    we just started how are they already losing limbs

    i laughed so hard i thought id cry
    also a bit earlier in the conversation pc 2 realised threat has a peg leg. her reaction to this was to ask her where the leg was. they don't even know each other's names yet

    Last edited: Nov 22, 2017
    • Winner x 9
    • Witnessed x 2
  14. turtleDove

    turtleDove Well-Known Member

    Last session, our party found a group of orcs and a dragonborn who are hunting a dragon that's fucking up the countryside. About half the party promptly took an irrational, vehement disliking to the dragonborn. My character (the half-orc bard/warlock who got exiled from her home because the last time she took a vehement disliking to someone, it ended up with that person dead and a city on fire) is making it blatantly clear that she really wants to pick a fight with this dude and, ideally, curbstomp him.

    The saner members of the party are trying to reign her in, because we recently discovered that the ancient magical artifact that she's been carrying around as her pact weapon - specifically because that's the best way to make sure no one can steal it - has two powers. One lets it work as a limited Wish, letting her cast any spell up to the caster level she's at right now. The other lets her use Command on what the DM has been calling "the Neon God", which is basically a shambling, glowy giant humanoid-shaped creature that we think is probably an antagonist from the last campaign (which ICly ended centuries ago) and which is drawn towards the artifact every time my character pulls it out to use it.

    In the process, we pestered the heck out of the poor dude to distract him while the two sneaky party members broke into his tent and went through his stuff. We found out that he's not actually a bad person, as far as we can tell; he's just a snobby jerk who's good at his job.
    • Like x 3
  15. Raire

    Raire Turquoise Helicoid

    My character is despairing at at Dove's character right now. She's the sane one and that pains her so much.

    Also I think it was the entire party who ended up disliking him, it's just that some members are more proactive in their suspicions based on that dislike. The entire time we were pestering him with questions my character, a half elf draconic heritage sorcerer, was basically sweating copiously internally, because why are we doing this guys and also this is going to go wrong.

    It didn't go wrong and now she dreads how hard it is going to be to convince the party not to pull more shenanigans like this. Utterly unnecessary she mouths in despair as the party plans how to mess with the dragonborn. Asking for trouble she complains as she goes along with it.
    • Witnessed x 3
    • Like x 1
    • Winner x 1
  16. Loq

    Loq cursed blue crab pincher

    I need to preserve the dice hating @IvyLB during our boss battle for posterity
    • Winner x 7
    • Witnessed x 2
    • Like x 1
  17. tickingnectarine

    tickingnectarine Just a clock, silly.

  18. Socket

    Socket Probably Procrastinating

    Our DM is slowly starting to wonder if luck dice were a good idea, because nobody at the table ever seems to roll lower than a natural 18 for luck...mainly we get 20s.

    So far this has resulted in
    • Nothing’s crossbow miraculously reholstering AND reloading itself when she dropped it mid-fight
    • Tsalta’s stray Nat 1 to hit arrow hitting a boss goblin in the head as he tried to dodge away from it
    • Nothing turning invisible without even realising it because she was so focussed on being sneaky...and not even losing a spell slot
    And last session, Tsalta (our sweet Scottish cow-loving Ranger) attempted to use her new horn to call any nearby cows as a distraction to avoid an imminent battle with WAY too many jackalweres to handle.

    Her Luck roll caused a trio of highland cows (her favourite!) to stampede out of the woodland, trampling the jackalwere she was in a stand-off with and causing such a ruckus that she could dodge into the trees unseen.

    The best part? The DM declared on the spot that the horn...must be magical?? Purely because that result was ridiculous. She can now summon one highland cow a day to do her bidding for an hour.

    (The other two were just grazing nearby and weren’t magic cows, so it seems to also function like a regular cow call so long as she does a good enough moo.)

    Luck rolls are so good you guys
    • Winner x 7
  19. Lazarae

    Lazarae You've got a little spell, memorize the lines

    Sounds to me like that crossbow's magic, too. An auto-reholstering + reloading enchantment would make bank but maybe this one's faulty and only does it sometimes.
    • Agree x 2
  20. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    All the ratings are mocking my pain I see xP
    • Agree x 1