like, how does one do it?? how does one deal with the feelings that you're deeply ashamed of having but also can't stop having?? like, I mean unambiguously ugly, mean, selfish stuff. we might all experience that kind of thing, but how do you proceed to live with yourself when you know you're an awful fuck in the privacy of your own head? (general 'you')
Are they just feelings? Are there attached thoughts that horrify you and won’t leave you alone? Because your reaction makes me suspect maybe intrusive thoughts. If so, that’s an anxiety symptom.
they're more like, unfair feelings I'm having about a specific situation that make me think very badly of myself :( though admittedly I get the intrusive thought thing too.