Deresto's Thought Dump (Blowing Bubbles At My Problems)

Starts off way cute, escalates quickly to terrifying and ends beautifully:

 

Tfw you feel comfortable enough around certain people that are huggers and they respect you enough to ask first is So Good. So far it's just immediate family and friends who know better, but like. Males, especially older ones, are a big No because of trauma and I feel safe with them hugging me. That's so big for me!!! I'm so happy and I don't feel so alone anymore.

I've also gotten to the point I can say I love you casually and mean it, and no one twists it to mean something it's not.

I'm legit happy, even though I have very bad days and forget sometimes, and that is so, so precious to me. I'm safe. I'm content. I'm loved.

Now to figure out how to help others feel like that. It's not an obligation, but almost a need? I wasn't happy for so long, so I know. And I can't bear leaving anyone else to drown in that when I could have helped. Or even just been there for a while. Just a second, or a year, whatever I can do I'll do it!

Sadly I can't help everyone, or even be any kind of good at it, and sometimes I'll fail, but I'll do my best. I guess that's an ambition, maybe I won't half ass it or burn myself out this time

 

I bought a magikarp plush the other day and my mom was asking questions about him, and I basically explained that it was weak and needed help to evolve, but when it does it's one of the strongest mons in the game except for that extreme lightening type weakness and she just said "and what can we learn from that?"

I paused and it hit me. I have a huge self confidence issue with giving up on myself and thinking I'm useless just because i take a long time to learn new things. But that's ok! Sometimes the magikarp road is best for someone, and that's just as important!!! :DDD

 

Cabinet man is so good

 

This is so fun! Also a great way to be introduced to this genre imo

 

Our dm is letting me have this horrifying cat from misadventures of flapjack as a familiar and I couldn't be happier tbh:

Spoiler: Slight body horror

 

AAAHHH NEW LUPIN MOVIE!!!



If they fuck it up I will legit cry. Hope they sub it!!!

 

Oh, it's out already! Even better news

 

Spoiler: nightmares, school related

Ok so I just came to the realization that having regular nightmares about being back in highschool isn't normal or okay??? Like it's not even about bullies or teachers teaching bad it's just always I'm back there, getting put in these heavy course load classes, and I'm screaming "no! I'm done, I did everything please don't make me go back!" And melds in with college sometimes and just, fuck.

They're so realistic, too, takes me ages to figure out it's a dream (when I can actually remember my dreams I can mould and shape them different a little while in, but the school ones are trap hellscapes)

 

I've been obsessed with this song since I found it, and this animatic someone made is even better! It's great

 

I want grits. We have no grits. Grits are currently unattainable and I only want them because I can't have them. I mean, also because I'm always up for grits, but mostly just want what I can't have rn

 

*me, using pill bottles as maracas* EEEY MACARENA!!!




God do I need out of the house rn

 

Weird thing I just realized: I'm kinda picky about food, especially desserts, in ways that should make baklava a no-no (sticky, too sweet, flakey, crumbly, too many textures at once) but??? It's my absolute favorite dessert?????? Idk it's weird

 

Hhhhhhhhh I wanna go outside so bad I can't stand it

I've been able to slightly stave off the beast by running around my backyard with the dogs, but goddam I need some actual irl socialization. Today is game day and nothing is happening and my routine weekly socialization with friends isn't happening and it's fucking me uppp

 

Also my sisters keep going to their friend's house and I'm pissed and jealous. How fucking dare they oh my god

 

@Acey showed me this Awesome quiz maker, so here is a quiz by me, for you! Basically a "how much do you know me" sorta deal, without the pressure, and once it's done (or you just click away) you can make one yourself! It's good fun

 

If you ever think I'm uncool, I am here to inform you that I own one(1) space jam mug which is a million cool points all on it's own

 

that is EXCELLENT, mad envious here!!

 

I wish tiktoks could have subtitles somehow

 

I wish my job was like. To do laundry for people. It'd be nice