Enzel.txt (art/mmo screenshots/babbling)

Discussion in 'Your Bijou Blogette' started by Enzel, Dec 17, 2018.

  1. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag



    "Most sewing table heights are based on a person 5 feet 3 inches tall. "


    I'm 5' 10"....

    I'm glad i found out that there are actual OSHA guidelines tho, going to send to my manager for when they move me to new space. (My chair is def too short even on its highest setting.)

    (Gotta take a look at home setup too, i think chair may be the problem there.)
  2. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    I made a plush Minecraft cube about 1' dimensions ages ago and it turns out it's perfect for keeping my sprained ankle elevated while i sleep lol
  3. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

  4. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Cleared O10S! Probably because we have the 10% Echo for it now but i don't even care. IT IS DONE

    I mean we need to run a few times for rhe rest of our books but we don't have to wait a week to do that.
  5. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag


    (Aki's house is a good place for chilling)
    • Like x 2
  6. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag



    why did i do this to myself

    (feels good to be coloring again but a bunch of my greys and purples need refills and i dont have the $$ rn...scream...)
  7. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    there was also a "draw your PC as each race" thing going around so I did that

    Bun Imry is pretty cute actually....

    also an expressions meme thing i did a while back and never scanned

    ( @Akiv'a and another friend picked the characters/prompts for me)
  8. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    I just read all the chapters of To You The Immortal that are out and it was very much my jam. There were a few questionable bits but it wasn't nearly the bizarre id-fest that Shield Hero was.

    Sometimes i really take queer-friendly media for granted tho... i suppose it was doing its best for having a protagonist that is a genderless shapeshifter (literally, their default form is a small sphere) but there was a whole conversation about romance between them and another character and the entire time i was thinking about missed potential.

    (Involving said other character wishing the protagonist would stay in a female form bc he likes ladies, though his weird obsession w them isn't condoned by anyone at least, including the protagonist themself, who is definitely weirded out by him)

    It's not finished so i can't say where it's going in that department but so far the protagonist is like over 200 years old, switches form (and gender and age) at will and seems just as at home in any body compared to another, and has mostly just expressed confusion or disinterest in romance/sex and focused on forming friendship/familial bonds.

    (At some point the protag's creator makes a dumb comment like "you know your sexual organs are fully functional right" (waggles theoretical eyebrows) and the protag gives him this Look that's like. "Ok...why are you telling me this....why do i care.")

    If anyone is looking to check it out it does have a good heaping of moderate violence/gore/body horror as well as several instances of sexual assault (thankfully shown as serious and terrifying and not played off as a joke)

    Also there is a minor plot that deals with a fat character that's pretty tone deaf, sadly. (sighs) But that was p much my only gripe.

    Commoner girl and self-absorbed prince have mutual crush even tho they met like once. Commoner girl wants to work at the castle to be near him but he's not allowed to have female servants in case they "seduce him" (ok....) so she disguises herself as a boy. Somewhere around there she gains weight and the reason given later is that when she moved closer to the castle she could visit a nearby sweet shop often??? :/ Prince therefore doesn't...recognize her. (Honestly tho hes kind of an idiot.) She basically follows him around like a lost puppy and he treats her shittily and then she saves his life and he finds out who she is. Then she suddenly loses all the weight she gained because (other plot thread about prince and his friends being branded as traitors and jailed for like several weeks and starved)


    Annoyingly when she was fat she actively ran around and did stuff and now that she's conventionally thin and pretty again she is just sort of waiting back home for the prince to come back from Doing Important Plot Stuff w the protagonist. (Extra dumb bc there are so many badass ladies in this manga and she's shown to be capable...blahh)

    Don't wanna end on a gripe so if you like found family narratives its good. Also narratives about weird otherworldly creature learning to Human by forming bonds w people. Also crying at the end of every other chapter. (A lot of people die, sorry in advance)
  9. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Tales of Symphonia: Everyone's life has meaning! It's wrong to sacrifice a single person for the sake of the world! We can find another way!

    Tales of the Abyss: People can change for the better! They can choose their own path forward! Destiny doesn't have to be predetermined!

    Tales of Rebirth: If we work together we can celebrate our differences instead of letting them divide us!

    Tales of Vesperia: Found Family! Justice for the innocent!

    Tales of Graces: Even if you make mistakes, keep believing in yourself! The power of friendship can save anyone, even those everyone thinks are monsters!

    Tales of Xillia: If God is wrong, punch God in the face! Become the new God! Don't sacrifice other nations just to save your own!

    Tales of Xillia 2: Your family is cursed. You have to destroy other worlds and murder millions of people to keep your own world alive. Your choices don't matter in the long run. The only three choices you have are 1. Sacrifice yourself. 2. Sacrifice your eight-year-old daughter. 3. Murder all of your friends to save your brother who's going to die anyway no matter what you do.

    Sometimes i really wonder what they were doing with that game. I mean i love it...but i also hate it SO MUCH. The characters and the worldbuilding and the aesthetic: great. The plot's sudden hard turn into EVERYTHING IS AWFUL AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT after all the hopeful messages of the previous games...wtf

    I'm still bitter about this like what. Seven years later???
  10. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    I've had a pack of shrinkydinks for ages and I'm finally gonna try em :o
  11. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag


    lesson learned abt colors (and i should use a thinner marker for the lineart i think) but a pretty good first try!
    • Winner x 2
  12. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    I am late to everything but i did a thing for Trans Day of Visibility of our FFXIV characters


    Top row: Maixentais (trans man), Jehan (trans man), Ketenbraena (nonbinary), Zakia (trans man), Laelius (nonbinary, masc leaning)
    Middle row: Melchior (genderqueer), Enzel (agender), Melusine (genderfluid, usually male), Nasere (agender)
    3rd row: Cota (trans man), T'mhati (trans man), Hujaur (agender), Kontai (agender), Altani (agender)
    Bottom: Kove (agender, masc leaning) & Shosholu (agender) [ft. the players themselves]

    (I do have a trans woman character but she's not quite past concept stage yet, need to work on her. So far all i know is that she's an Au Ra. Leaning towards Raen.)

    Maixentais: trans man, married a woman named Celine & they adopted a daughter (who is my other character, Nennali). Quiet Dad who makes Dad Jokes when you least expect it.

    Jehan: created by a mutual friend of Aki and I. (player of the Mettaton expy I've drawn before) Sadly i do not know much about him yet!

    Keten: you probably know something about them by now bc i draw them too fucking much but regardless. Darkness Gremlin made from a bunch of memories and magic bullshit. Their gender is probably best described as "somewhere in the middle of male and female, but neither". Can shapeshift and prefers to present ambiguously.

    Zakia: belongs to Aki, i don't know much about him yet.

    Laelius: ran away from home Sweet Polly Oliver style & convinced himself it was just because girls have it shitty in Garlean society that he didn't want to live as one. Made friends w/ a pharmacist at his security job who turned out to be from a family of radical opponents of the Empire and now she makes him T under the table. Will probably end up on the run from the government soon because it turns out being queer under a facist regime really sucks and so does being friends with people who refuse to abandon their morals and torture people.

    Melchior: Weinblyss's older brother figure growing up. Surprisingly well-adjusted considering he was raised by pirates. Unbeknownst to him he's the reincarnation of a semi-immortal agender mage whose memories are currently sealed. (He's a character i borrowed from an original story of mine.) His gender is probably best described as "non-committal wiggly hand motion".

    Enzel: my default solution to the "i can't think of a new character concept for this customizable protag game so I'm staring at the character creator instead of playing it" problem. (This is also the reason their name is my online handle.) They are a distinct character w/ a personality in their own right, a bit of LoZ Link + other silent protag inspired. Doesn't talk much, prefers headbutting things. Gender best described as "no thanks". In FFXIV they're an orphan of the Garlean takeover of Gyr Abania, raised by a half Mhigan/half Othardian arcanist who did her best to teach them magic. They still prefer headbutting things.

    Melusine: Aki's. A dragon of Bahamut's brood who's been taking a nap since the Allagan era. (I think they're still deciding whether he was stuck in Dalamud and released when it exploded or literally just fell asleep for 5000 years.) Woken up by Hydaelyn basically chucking a crystal at his face so now he's the Warrior of Light in his universe. Uses various glamours to appear as an Elezen to avoid freaking people out but still doesn't quite grasp the mortal gender thing. Prefers masculine forms but sometimes likes to switch it up.

    Nasere: Aki's mining retainer, that's all I know.

    Cota: Aki's. An exact genetic clone of his mother (in our verse Au Ra can occasionally reproduce by parthenogenesis because why not) who was taken prisoner along with her so Garlean scientists could study them. He eventually escaped and fled to Eorzea, where he happened to meet a fellow trans person and learned about the concept, and started living as himself finally. Unofficial Dad of the Warriors of Light since he's the only one over 30 with the Echo. (Sob)

    T'mhati: a young Sun Seeker who joined the Immortal Flames Summoner Corps in hopes of following in the Warrior of Light Akiv'a's footsteps. (Unsure if it's an admiration crush or a crush-crush lol) He also took the opportunity to choose a name for himself & had his face tattooed to resemble the male Miqo'te facial markings. (hurt like a bitch but he maintains it was worth it) Stubborn as hell. He's conflicted about his future, because he feels compelled to pursue Nunh status as other Tia do, but realizes he can't actually become a Nunh in anything other than name. (He's not quite sure if it's his own desire to care for a family/tribe driving it, or a need to alleviate social dysphoria by proving himself as a man. It's probably both.)

    Hujaur: Aki's character.

    Kontai: Aki's. Created from some discussion about how it's strange that lorewise only Hyur can become Padjal when the Elementals only see mortals as blobs of aether, essentially, and wouldn't make much distinction between races. So the idea is that non-Hyur Padjal tend to escape the notice of Gridanian authorities and have their own traditions & live reclusively deep in the forest.

    Altani: Aki's character.

    Kove: Aki's. An orphan raised by former Warrior of Light and Sultansworn Iiriku Rururiku. They're a handful and a half and technically in training to become a paladin as well, but their disregard for authority in pursuit of justice is...a problem on that front.

    Shosholu: Aki's character.

    ...when looking up pride flags i went down the rabbit hole of the Gender Wiki and discovered that there's a distinction between "neutrois" (has a gender but that gender is neutral) and "agender" (has no gender/absence of gender) and that i personally kind of fluctuate between the two going by definition...but I'm attached to the simplicity of "agender" and i don't feel like the labels of neutrois or genderfluid fit me personally. Gender is weird!!

    Like...if we say the gender spectrum is a gradient of pink to blue, I'm sometimes right in the middle where its purple and sometimes just nope off of it entirely, but its hard to say that there's a large difference in those feelings? Outwardly in terms of pronouns/presentation there isn't and inwardly the difference is so slight that i...idk i just don't feel strongly enough about it to split hairs about terminology. I'd rather just keep using "agender" because it's easier for people to know what I'm talking about. But it's interesting to know the distinction exists. Learn something new every day.

    (On a slightly different topic I also finally grasp what "demiromantic" means. Also I don't consider myself aromantic but apparently by definition my relationship...is??? And i am very confused about how much of alloromanticism is cultural norms and how much is innate. I will have to do more reading on the subject.)
  13. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    I tried to learn abt natural hair dyes to see how plausible it would be for my fantasy character to dye their hair and now im just...hmm....

    One site had some...weird info that wasn't sourced so idk how true it is. SOURCE. YOUR SHIT. AHHH.

    I guess it doesn't *really* matter given this is a fantasy/sci fi post-multiple-minor-apocalypses world that already has genetic cloning, my character can find a way to turn the ends of her blue hair white for vanity
  14. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag


    Square Enix: have poor short term memory or processing problems? F you.

    (This is the worst ruleset ever holy shit. Worse than Roulette x2)
  15. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Thinkin about fairy tales

    Since i played Child of Light and read (book i cant recall the name of) I've been wanting a story with the traditional "heroine gets evil stepmother and stepsisters" setup, except one of the stepsisters ends up on the heroine's side bc she finally realizes her mother is abusive/has the courage to stand up to her.

    Both of those pieces of media seemed like they were going in that direction and then played it straight at the last moment...i was so disappointed.

    (In the book's case it was the heroine's evil fiance's sister who told her she was afraid of her own brother and he treated her badly to gain her trust, but it turned out to be a lie so she could manipulate the heroine. :/ )

    (Child of Light was frustrating because the villains' motivations were nonsensical...they wanted "a place to belong" and got one with their new family and then...fucked it up by trying to kill the king and his daughter because ???? If you'd just lived peacefully and happily with them everything would have been fine? Aurora was so happy to have big sisters? Like wtf.

    If they'd made it out to be tragic in the sense of "they betrayed their new family preemtively because they had been betrayed so many times they couldn't trust anyone anymore" maybe it would have been sad instead of just frustrating... i really did love that game, my only gripes w it were that and the weird way they handled the Native representation...and the fact that they gave you flying too early on. [The platforming was actually fun...] )

    Yeah yeah i know i should write it. I just don't have any other ideas besides that bare bones concept yet.

    (This reminds me to revamp my Norah cosplay sometime soon, and i still want to rope my sister into dressing up as *her* sister for a photoshoot. She hasn't played the game but i basically said "I'll make you a sparkly dress and you can keep it if you do this" and she was like "HELL YEA")
  16. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag


    Weirdly, cosplaying ladies can be really nice because it puts me in the mindset of "this is a costume" so it actually helps w/ dysphoria for a while. My brain registers my chest as "part of the costume" so i don't get the "what are these and why are they here" error message. (A lot of the time dysphoria for me is kind of like...repeatedly getting a pop up alert on my computer. I can click out of it and sometimes it goes away for a while but i cant seem to get rid of it completely)

    My body shape has changed a lot bc of meds so I'm going to have to do some real tweaking to wear this again but that's ok...the only thing i can think of that will be difficult is fixing the beading. Part of me is tempted to redo it completely but also it would be a royal pain in the ass. But also i could probably do it...better now...i could also make it *even sparklier*...goddammit.

    Contemplating putting some boning into it somehow because i don't really want to buy another strapless bra/corset thing like i used last time (i had it from my brother's wedding but they're like $80 and kind of hard to find, old one no longer fits and i think i gave it away) I could probably make one and replace the lining with it and hopefully it would help it stay up on its own. (And when i get top surgery i can just put in permanent inserts.) Just found out the website I get sewing supplies from now sells corset boning so :3 (its plastic and i keep hearing my costume teacher's voice going on abt how steel boning is the only way but SHH I'm not taking apart the corset i made in school to steal the boning. I like it too much.)

    Rethinking of a way to taper the skirt, its an empire waist but they tend to be unflattering on me so i made the skirt itself more like an A-line that flares at the hips. However that means it all falls in folds at the sides instead of flowing evenly all around, but i think I'll be able to put some darts in so it flares all the way around.

    If i do take out the beading i can probably attempt to wash off the makeup stains since dry-cleaning didn't remove em. Also wondering if i should make the neck part detachable for that reason. (dunno why i never thought of that before)

    -Jeanne Alter commission (flag template done. Need to print it at correct size. Need to make pattern, buy materials. Figure out how embroidery settings on machine work.)

    Have materials for:
    -Leia (Tales of Xillia)
    -Thancred (FFXIV ARR)
    -Veigue (Tales of Rebirth)
    -Estelle (xmas costume, Tales of Vesperia)

    -Norah (take in, redo beading, add corset [?], hide stain on skirt near seam)
    -Ludger (maybe redo suspender pieces put of diff material, craft foam keeps sticking to itself in storage. Spruce up hammer, maybe make swords.)
    -concept art Ludger jacket (needs embroidery finished, fitting)
    -Marie (take in)
    -Dashing Gent (makeup stains on collar)
    -Anakin (I think this one is mostly fine, maybe add some features for comfort. Make sure moths didn't eat it while i wasnt looking.)


    -Aki's weighted blanket. (Take out current stitching and reduce the amt of filler in the squares, currently too heavy. Make cover.)
    -yoga mat case for dad
    -make more zipper bags?
    -make pattern for totes
    -figure out what the heck to do w all that jean fabric
    -finish embroidery piece for bro & sis in law

    -another plush hammock.

    Sort costumes to sell/donate/deconstruct for parts. Possibly take photos for portfolio.

    Sell: Kanaya, Charlie, Dr. Horrible coat (needs major ironing), Spirit Milla Bodysuit (needs to be sealed somehow), school projects (fairy top, wool skirt, zero waste project?)

    Sell or Deconstruct: Guy, KH2 Riku

    Deconstruct & remake: Dissidia Cloud

    Wistful future costume list:
    -Estelle (princess dress)
    -Estinien (casual/end of 3.3 outfit)
    -Victor (Tales of Xillia 2) [have some materials already]
    -one of my FFXIV glams for Imry...possibly Flannel Suspenders, the Skalla tank coat, or the Berserker tank coat)
  17. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Finally revised that scene and posted ahhhh

    I did some other edits too & now i gotta update the story on my DW but. Some other time. Too much to dooooo

    -finish scanning sketchbook & editing recent art
    -Easter event in FFXIV for the alts i want the outfit on
    -FF15 crossover (finish Garuda instance on Imry, get enough MGP for the car on her & my other over 50s, level/finish ARR on Laelius and Raiya for it as well)
    -finish editing & post the screenshots i put aside in desktop folder
    -make commission guide/post!!

    -try to go to dentist in person Friday morning to sort things out
    -small grocery trip after
    -maybe a load of laundry
    -If there's time do some sewing stuff before getting online
  18. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Is very warm today and SUPER WINDY AHHH

    Did some Adulting

    Here is arts

    Imry, Raiya, Wein

    Bonus Sid, Rielle and Fray

    Tsuki & Wein





    I edited some of these w f.lux on and it shows... (yells)
    • Winner x 1
  19. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    Tomorrow (ok today, its nearly 5am) i am going to attempt to bake coffee cake

    Wish me luck
    • Like x 1
  20. Enzel

    Enzel androgynous jrpg protag

    welp, i'm gonna have to clean the oven bc i did not know how much it was going to rise, so it overflowed...I managed to clean up the stuff that fell out so it didn't burn and stick to the inside too badly, and I think what was left in the pan came out ok. It doesn't taste anything like store-bought coffee cake, but to be fair I made a recipe that uses greek yogurt bc we had a lot of it that was going to go bad soon.
    • Witnessed x 1
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