Ex Boyfriend

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Missfortunate, Feb 26, 2015.

  1. Missfortunate

    Missfortunate Emotional one

    So Ive got this ex boyfriend well call him Matty. Once upon a time I was a very awkward 15 year old boy who didnt know shit about their sexuality, Im seeing that Im attracted to boys but i refuse to acknoledge it due to the way being gay was treated in my horrible environment. Anyway theres this boy matty who is nice to me and we become good friends, he is bisexual and I felt sage to talk about my feelings of attraction and he was great, just fantastic about it all and we got closer you know? One day he asks me to be his boyfriend which made my heart flutter...skip a beat? Whatever the hell we call that feeling....but matty has a girlfriend, and I asked him about this but he reassured me that they were in a open relationship...I didnt like that part so much but ahit someone wanted to be with me?! Someone who was such a nice person to boot! we started dating and a few months go by as things developed between us he started to make his desires known...he wanted sex and I was not comfortable with the idea yet so i tried to tell him as politely as Icould that I wasnt ready. What did he do? He just left he said bye tow me and left and i didnt see him again or hear from him again..nothing, for months and one day after I had gotten involved with a girl(i eventualy discovered I was attracted to more than just guys and that was okay) he starts texting me telling me he misses me and asking how Ive been calling me his butrercup just that stuff that made me want to melt in his arms. But I told him I was with someone else and he stoped talking to me for months..again and has kept up this pattern over the last few years(im 21 now) of coming around sweet talking me but dissapearing. Thelast time we talked was threeonths ago I told him about how I was transitioning and he was pretty supportive of the whole thing even telling me.Id make a gorgeous girl and the last thing I said to him was "you always dissapear.." and he did. Tonight he mesaged me and said "ofcourse I always dissapear you know me by now" like its no big deal that he keeps pulling my heart strings....I dont even know why I care or why he makes me cry..like am I just a joke to him? He didnt even say anything else just that and im feeling pretty worthless :'( anyone out there qho xan offer up some good advice for how to handle this? Also Im sorry for how long this is :(
  2. Mala

    Mala Well-Known Member

    Sounds like he might only be interested in talking to you if he can have romance+sex with you. Which is entirely his fault for being an asshole. It might be time to boundary up and tell him that if he's going to pull this on again - off again act, then you'd rather he not contact you at all.

    You're not a joke and you're not worthless. He's being awful and you deserve better.
    • Like x 4
  3. Missfortunate

    Missfortunate Emotional one

    Thank you! Your right I should boundary up but like idk what qorks in plan doesnt always work in practice... that sounds so stupid -_-
    thank you I needed to hear that
  4. rorleuaisen

    rorleuaisen Frozen Dreamer

    Sorry, not my expertise but, you could block his number? He doesn't seem to be interested in the kind of relationship you are, and this only seems to be hurting you. So, send him a good-bye message if you need to, and block him.
    • Like x 1
  5. Mala

    Mala Well-Known Member

    Work out what you're going to say next time he comes around. Have a script written up with some possible alternatives! Know what you want to say and don't be afraid to cut the conversation short. You don't owe him another chance or to hear him out. You don't even owe him a goodbye or explanation if you don't want to give him one.
    • Like x 1
  6. Missfortunate

    Missfortunate Emotional one

    Yes Ill write a script! Great idea @Mentarnes on a side note Im in a much better mood now as I was so busy being upset that i neglected to take my hormones til midnight, my emotions are back on track
  7. Mala

    Mala Well-Known Member

    Which reminded me to take my own pills before I wonder why I cant sleep
    • Like x 2
  8. Morven

    Morven In darkness be the sound and light

    This is me.
  9. Missfortunate

    Missfortunate Emotional one

    @Morven and @Mentarnes glad it isnt just me who can forget or almost forget this stuff xD
  10. emythos

    emythos Lipstick Hoarding Dragon

    @Missfortunate He sounds like a dick. You are a wonderful darling human. Ignore him. Just do not engage.
    • Like x 1
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