SO. I've realized now that my meds are adjusted and the things beyond my control are tended properly, that there's a constant in a lot of my issues that is a big detriment to my life even when I'm NOT having an episode: it feels like my optimism is broken 9/10 times if I sit and look at it. Or if it's not broken, it can very easily get drowned out by hard learned pessimism to the point where it just sucks the joy out of anything. all wind out of sails, i could be happy and hopeful and then when that voice starts up it just thrashes everything. half the time an episode will follow. It's not quite the same as the anxiety voice, but the pessimism is so fucking strong it drowns out the tiny baby optimism i DO have. And I don't mean the repeating "It'll be okay!" thing without actually feeling it at all I do to calm myself down, I mean the honest to god feeling like things will be alright and that there's hope and good things ahead optimism. I know I can't be alone in this issue, it seems really common among not just people with depression and anxiety but anyone who deals with some flavor of gremlin in their thoughts. The pessimism volume is cranked to max and the optimism only comes in when the batteries get changed on the pessimism radio. I'd like to find some ways of shutting the pessimism up or using logic against it more thoroughly so I can listen to the optimism.. and hopefully come to really believe it for more than a few hours at a time. I really think this would do me a world of good, and hopefully some other folks too if they need it. I'd like this space to be a place for talking about the problem and how it affects your life, as well as things you've tried and had success with even for short spurts currently or in the past, your successes, your needs for cheering your fledgling optimism, and the setbacks that can and will happen bc life is life and fledglings fall a lot while they grow stronger. Optimism thread for growing and raising organic optimism with others community garden style: Go.