Fic quotes for the soul

emcapi · Nov 26, 2018 at 6:42 PM

What he really, truly wanted, however, was cock.
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Birdy · Nov 26, 2018 at 9:21 PM

you did it! you broke fanfiction down to its bare essentials!

vuatson · Nov 26, 2018 at 10:29 PM

a companion quote, though it's from a summary not a fic:

ChelG · Nov 30, 2018 at 8:55 PM

I've had parts of this song stuck in my head for a literal decade and only just managed to find it again to at least remember the rest of it, so I'm subjecting everyone else to it.

Our eyes are fully open to the canon's situation
We shall go at once to Redwall and make an elimination
For Sue's turned Mattimeo into someone more like Jango
And with Mordalfus she will do the Horizontal Tango
A lot of Bleeprin down the hatch, for she's a gorram otter
We need to think about a fate to suit this little rotter
With canon so screwed up I think the method ought to matter
For she's got to go and -- Hey! I think we'll feed her to the adder!
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ChelG · Dec 12, 2018 at 8:46 PM

Order of the Stick magic genderflip fic:

The elf stared incredulously at her. 'Lady Greenhilt, I presume that you jest. While I appreciate that this predicament has caused all of you no small social embarrassment and physical difficulty, combined with the confusion and stress inherent in being the subject of an unidentified curse, surely you must appreciate that for myself, the situation has been most dire of all.'

Three sets of wide eyes were staring at the elf.

'Lad - or lass, I'm still nae sure - ' Durquine began -

'- WHAT, in the seven fiery hells - ' continued Bella -

'- do you think you're talking about!?!' concluded Rachel.

'Isn't it obvious, you oblivious buffoons?' V leapt out of the chair, upright posture screaming haughty offence. 'I am now stuck with over a dozen sets of robes, all of which button up the wrong side!'.
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Loq · Dec 13, 2018

"People stop asking us to do chores if they think we're experimenting with destroying different kinds of stone and playing with dangerous magic."

"And... what are you actually doing?" Daine folded her hands inside of the blanket, still cold. Keith smiled and made an expansive gesture with his hands.

"I'm experimenting with stone destruction, and Morgan is playing with dangerous magic. Sometimes we play cards instead."
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The other adults had stayed well clear of the argument, each for their own reasons: Alanna didn't know what they were talking about, Emma had gotten used to their bickering over the months, and Tyro was wistfully daydreaming about what he would do if he had the ability to set people on fire.
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Loq · Dec 21, 2018 at 6:24 PM

‘You wouldn’t be willing to believe some kind of ‘right place, right time’ bullshit?’ Bull said.

‘You added on the word ‘bullshit’ yourself, all without my help.’
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ChelG · Dec 24, 2018

"So if stars aren't fairies, where do fairies come from?"

"For god's sake, Feliciano. Fairies don't exist."

"Lovino, you mustn't say that!" He raised a hand to his lips. "Every time you say that a fairy dies."
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"What? It's a good film!" Gilbert defended. "Fish that can sing and shit, fucking mermaids and this big-ass sea witch - did you ever meet Elizabeta? Well imagine her with tentacles."

"You know, I always found King Triton kind of hot. Bulging muscles, rugged facial hair and he had so much authority," Francis sighed wistfully.

"I've never seen it, is he really that hot?" Antonio asked eagerly.

"Don't be fooled by Francis, Antonio. He basically has the hots for the mermaid version of Santa Claus." Gilbert looked at Francis in disgust, but the Frenchman merely shrugged.

"What is so wrong about that? Deep booming voice, good with kids... also I've always been intrigued by the idea of his 'naughty list'." Gilbert made mock gag noises, and Antonio fell about laughing.
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ChelG · Dec 24, 2018 at 4:34 PM

So he walked in freely, quietly creeping from house to house and fireside to fireside. He still took everything, but carefully now. It would all be returned later, and if it was rudeness and misfortune to prevent his entering, so too, was it so for him to break or harm anything.

And so he went from house to house, taking presents and decorations, putting them carefully into labelled sacks, tying everything down so that it could withstand the journey back to his former home.

At the last house, this year's Cindy Lou Who, a great honor given to a little girl of about her age as she was then, would come to him and ask him what he was doing, as the original had done all those years before.

What changed now was what was asked and answered.

"Why are you here?" she would ask.

"To remind us all." he would answer.

"Of what?"

"Of what's important."

"And what's that?"

"Not this. Not these." He would gesture around at the decorated room, the tree piled high with ornaments, bulging with presents underneath.

"Why not?" Always a confusion, often mixed with a bit of petulance. He'd smile at that. He, too, had been young once, remembered what it was like to believe that the presents were all, the physical reflection of love enough.

"Because the things that are the most important can't be seen."
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vuatson · Dec 24, 2018

@ChelG do you have a link to that last one? I would like to put the rest of it in my soul too

ChelG · Dec 24, 2018 at 6:36 PM

Here you go!

vuatson · Dec 24, 2018 at 6:42 PM

Thank you! ^u^

ChelG · Dec 29, 2018 at 1:20 PM

Rose has never understood Felldoh. She's friends with him, and they talk, whenever they cross paths and snatch some conversation from the busy air, but she knows there's a gap between their ideals. A ravine, really, Rose thinks. It was the place a bridge used to span before he burned it.
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ChelG · Dec 30, 2018 at 11:22 AM

Normally, a real rapier was wielded with elegant and sweeping grace, flashing through the air and cutting thin crescents and jabs of red into the opponent with a silver sweep of metal. The horrified Tarquin used his fake one like a bat and brought it down on Victin with all the finesse of a crow beating an overripe fruit.
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All it needed was for two stupidly shortsighted young lovers with smoldering eyes and heaving chests to come wandering in and begin breathily monologing to each other before their equally stupid parents trotted in later and slaughtered them both, preferably with more monologing, then followed by lots of 'falling upon their wretched knees and wailing to the heavens'.
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No wonder he looked that way; there was definitely alcohol involved before and after when his mother popped him out (and perhaps during).
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Source

ChelG · Jan 5, 2019 at 6:01 PM

You cleared your throat. "Note number one: Mom doesn't say 'howdy.'"

"I had to improvise!" Arms spread, he flopped back against the couch. "You said to act casual."

"That was too casual." You flipped the next page over like it was a business slideshow. "Note number two: like Dad said, we should have stuffed some pillows under the robe."

His fluffy head tilted back against the couch padding. "Yeah, but Mom looked at him really weird when he said that."

"Look, we don't need a ton of pillows under there. I'm thinking two or three." You continued to the next page. "And here you see a crab holding a balloon. I thought it was cute."
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https://www.sofurry.com/view/1207428

ChelG · Jan 11, 2019 at 1:53 PM

“If this doesn’t go away, nobody will take me seriously as hero,” Deku whined to himself, recalling one of his notebooks. “There have been heroes with enlarged body parts before, but the ones with enlarged penises never manage to rescue anyone! Dr. Lothario, Tripod and Testiclus can barely show their faces in public - they never get called when any serious trouble is going on. If I get lumped into that category, UA won’t want anything to do with me, and I’ll get turned down by all the good agencies!Besides, a big dick is useless at fighting evil! It’ll just get in the way! Donger King didn’t last two weeks once villains figured out his weak point! Plus, how will I wear a tight-fitting costume, like a real superhero, if I have a ridiculous looking bulge in my pants? I’m going to get thrown out of school and end up doing those weird movies, like Quadrodick! Even if I have One For All, no matter how much good I do, it’ll be completely overshadowed by this! The media will be all over it. Two years ago, when Dr. Lothario helped defeat Doom Chill at Tattooin Market by using the penile neck-noose, the tabloids didn’t focus on his heroic efforts at all, they just published a million photos of his dick that filled the newspaper with mosaics! And my situation is even worse! My penis isn’t even useful for subduing villains like Dr. Lothario’s, it’s just this big long heavy thing! And if-”

“Stop nerding out!” All Might chided, startling Midoriya out of his mumbling. “That hero fanboy knowledge of yours comes in handy, Young Midoriya, but it also contains a record of every bad thing that ever happened to any hero. If you don’t get a grip, it can sabotage you as well as aid you.” He bent to one knee again and put a hand reassuringly on MIdoriya’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a way to rid you of this burden. And even if we don’t, you’ve come too far as my protege to quit now!”

He rose again and struck his hands on hips pose. “This new power of yours is just as worthy as any other! The time may come, Young Midoriya, when it may be called upon to help others, and when that happens, you must not shy away! No! You must clench your butt cheeks, meet the problem head on, and cry out - ‘Giant Schlong Smash!’
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winterykite · Jan 13, 2019

Yesterday Upon The Stair, a BNHA AU

Uraraka’s hair is tucked beneath a cap, her jacket heavy and loose-fitting enough to make her look androgynous. Even her face looks different, though she’d been that way already when they met at the train station.

(“That’ll be the contouring,” she’d said, when Kirishima asked her how she’d managed to change the positioning of her cheekbones.

“Contouring?”

“Makeup,” Yaoyorozu had explained.

“Makeup’s for when you want to look pretty,” Uraraka had said. “Contouring’s for when you want to commit a murder and throw off the police sketches.”)
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“I mean, it’s definitely Plan A,” he says, and prays that Nighteye takes the bait.

A single yellow eyebrow rises. “I suppose that begs the question of what Plan B is.”

“One of my friends cancels gravity,” Izuku answers. “I figure if all else fails, I can just high-five her and launch myself straight into the sun.”
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During a lull in the game’s action, his phone vibrates. He checks it, and finds a new text from Todoroki. Izuku glances at his friend, gets a noncommittal shrug in return, and reads it.

[12:18] Todoroki:
You look awful.

In spite of himself, Izuku snorts softly.

[12:18] Me:
You’re one to talk.

He gets as far as the next place to make a save point before his phone buzzes again.

[12:22] Todoroki:
I’m not the one who looks like he got hit by a train.

This time, Izuku rolls his eyes before he answers, How sure are you about that? He snatches a quick look at Todoroki, just in time to see him roll his eyes.

[12:23] Todoroki:
Don’t exaggerate. I got hit by a truck, at most.

[12:23] Me:
Wow I can’t believe we’re both fucking dead.

[12:24] Todoroki:
Such a tragedy. I’m sure we’ll be missed.

At some point, Izuku pauses the game again and turns his full attention to texting Todoroki while sitting so close he’s almost leaning on him. It’s ridiculous, it makes no sense, Todoroki’s perfectly capable of talking, but somehow the absurdity makes it easier.

[12:26] Me:
This sucks. If I’m dead then why am I still so tired?

[12:27] Todoroki:
Good question. Whoever said ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ was an idiot. Anything I can do?

[12:27] Me:
Just chloroform me. Put me out of my misery.

Todoroki purses his lips at this, and for a moment Izuku thinks he’s gone too far again before his reply comes in.

[12:27] Todoroki:
That’s hard to come by. I can find a big stick? Would that help?
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“How do you feel, my boy?” All-Might asks him.

“Like I got hit by a train,” Izuku answers. “But I derailed the first car in the process, so who’s the real winner?” He winces as Recovery Girl fits a sling onto him. “I mean, it’s the train, obviously, but at least there’s a dent on the bumper. Is that the right word? Do trains have bumpers?”
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Jean · Jan 14, 2019 at 2:42 PM

(Opening his eyes in between kisses, Shikamaru could see the slits on Naruto’s cheeks opening up and filtering water in and out, brushing against Shikamaru’s own cheeks.

Noticing his attentions, Naruto grinned and wiggled his gills in a way that was a lot off-putting and somehow still attractive for holes in Naruto’s skin what.

“You like ‘em?” He didn’t know the fucking half of it. “Auntie showed me how to open them.”

“Auntie?”

“Yeah, literally everyone in Uzushio is either related to me or honorary family. Auntie said that it’s good I’m only half Uzumaki so I can bring in new genes or whatever.”

“Naruto, everyone in Uzushio died when our parents were kids.”

“Nah, they just went underwater, but they’re trying to keep it lowkey.”

“What.”)
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everything's better (down where it's wetter) by cloudtalking

YggiDee · Jan 15, 2019 at 9:06 PM

“Being- listen,” says Alucard, gesticulating wildly, “being snowed in, as a concept, is- look, fine it should be sexy. Alright? I agree. Being snowed in inside an enormous castle full of obscenely large and very soft beds and huge heated baths alongside two attractive people who actually, for some godforsaken reason, like me should be- urgh. But it’s not! It’s not, because there are corpses everywhere, and there’s a ghost trying to murder us all, and now the fucking roof is falling in and this whole place is freezing up and you’re both going to die of fucking hypothermia and that’s- god! Everything is so stressful. Nothing about this is even remotely sexy!”

As he says this, a glittering flurry of snow blows his gleaming blonde locks artfully around his face, tumbling around the alabaster slope of his shoulders while he remains utterly still, poised with inhuman grace, still bare-chested and wearing very tight trousers and perfectly silhouetted against the stormy grey-white sky outside. Trevor and Sypha exchange brief but significant glances, and come very quickly to a wordless agreement that they’re not going to get into this one right now.

“Alucard,” says Sypha, summoning a flame into her palms and huddling up to Trevor with a soft shake of her head, “You’re being very melodramatic.”

“That is my god-given right as a fucking vampire, Sypha.”

“Satan-given, surely,” says Trevor.

“Half-vampire,” says Sypha, sternly, “so it follows that you’re only allowed to be half as melodramatic as a regular vampire.”

“That’s not how it wo-”

“Yes it is. And you know, I’m fairly sure that you’ve used up your entire quota of melodrama for the day by now.”

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(Source is Walpurgisnacht by Ptolemia

Morgan Jae · Jan 18, 2019 at 10:52 PM

Steve's not supposed to leave SHIELD headquarters without being accompanied by an agent, but Darcy thinks she qualifies and argues with Coulson until he agrees. "He's climbing the walls," she says. "I mean literally. He saw a parkour video on youtube and he's been scaring the crap out of people."
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Fic quotes for the soul

emcapi Well-Known Member

Birdy so long

vuatson [delurks]

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

vuatson [delurks]

ChelG Well-Known Member

vuatson [delurks]

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

Jean Let’s stop procrastinating -- tomorrow!

YggiDee Well-Known Member

Morgan Jae pecure. sontain. crotect.

Log in or Sign up

Fic quotes for the soul

emcapi Well-Known Member

Birdy so long

vuatson [delurks]

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

Loq rotating like a rotisserie chicknen

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

vuatson [delurks]

ChelG Well-Known Member

vuatson [delurks]

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

Jean Let’s stop procrastinating -- tomorrow!

YggiDee Well-Known Member

Morgan Jae pecure. sontain. crotect.

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