I don’t even go here but I love everything about this story that presents the most unflinching and downright savvy take on romance where serious long term illness and disability are involved (please mind the tags). But I had to stop at this sentence because it made me cry. And now I’m having trouble starting again because it’s still making me cry every time I go back. The character in question isn’t passing the test, and neither the pov character nor the story think he should be. It’s an assertion about how very much kindness costs, not a judgment. And yet I feel absolutely, overwhelmingly seen. Like every single time someone told me I was nice or a good listener or a comfort, and I think I know why my mom looks at me the way she does sometimes, like she hurts for me but knows without understanding that it’s a fraction of the experience and never the heart. A person amounts to so much rubble under the feet of what their own compassion would make of them. It’s not a character test. I think it’s more of a very particular kind of tolerance for being pulled completely out of shape. The capacity for kindness in the face of overwhelming agony isn’t so much about something you do, it’s something you have to become, and then you will be very alone. You probably won’t be lonely, but you will be alone.
Oh man, that is some strong stuff, thanks for sharing. I dunno about others but whenever shit gets so bad and I can't be cheery and happy I would feel so guilty?? And just. This is so important to me, reminds me to let myself be human
You know, I feel like we should just have a blanket policy of always linking the fic in question, at this point.
Will do... As promised, here's the link. (Note: click on 'reader mode' to only see the main story segments... and a bit of setup) Mind, the whole thing is a forum game about a quasi-post apocalypse America filled with a bunch of successor states, the most prominent of which is a... very conservative and very nasty bunch, which the player faction (the Chicago Commonwealth) fights against. Which is to say, the above segment is... not entirely representative, the rest is often quite a bit less whimsical.
