Fic quotes for the soul

ChelG · Apr 17, 2017 at 1:45 PM

and i just love it how the real sonic is completely ignoring him. hes all like oh another shitty recolor? must be tuesday.
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http://edrobot.blogspot.co.uk/2012/11/jake-englishs-mysterious-theater-of_22.html

The Mutant · Apr 17, 2017 at 11:08 PM

Couple quotes from one of my favorite fics. Goddamn did this author nail this character's voice.

“Awesome. In that case I vote we follow Grognak’s excellent example and steal anything that isn’t nailed down. You’re going to have to carry it all though, I’m a little low on pockets. Or clothes in general.”

“You…really are.”

“Hey, buddy, my eyes are up here.”

“Sorry-”

“Nah, just fucking with you. Go back to ogling my ass, it’s doing good things for the old ego.”
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“Alright, let’s just head back to Goodneighbor, maybe crash for the night. You must be freezing in that outfit.”

“I absolutely fucking am,” Deacon tells him. He’s still laughing. He shows no sign of wanting to stop. “The amount of skin I’m flashing here, you’d think people would at least try shove a few singles down my top. Oh, wait. I’m not wearing one. That’ll be why I can’t feel my nipples.”

“Oh god. Come here, you can have my coat-”

“Uh, no, that’s the Silver Shroud’s coat, you can’t take it off while you’re on duty. It’s in the rules. Didn’t you read the rulebook? What kind of superhero are you?”

“The Shroud has no need of rulebooks,” he intones, shrugging out of the heavy grey coat. “His gun is his bible, and Justice his goddess. Or god. Or…deity of uncertain gender. Goddammit. Take the coat before you get frostbite, I’m all out of Stimpacks and I’m not kissing anything better if it turns blue.”

“If this was a comic book, there’d be a thought bubble over my head right now, and it would say something along the lines of, ‘Not now, boner.’ Alright then, I’ll take the coat. For the sake of my nipples.”
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ChelG · Apr 19, 2017 at 1:25 PM

A pudgy blonde man ambled by, looking only slightly less despondent than John, and Mike called out, “Hey, it’s Grabnok the Destroyer! How’ve you been, mate? Any good jumps lately?”
The man shook his head. “Not really. I went to the dimension that has the other half of Josie. They’re not nearly as fond of her over there.”
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/653136/chapters/123470

Deresto · Apr 19, 2017 at 1:59 PM

@ChelG you quote the best fics in here istg

ChelG · Apr 21, 2017 at 4:25 PM

Goddamnit. He was probably convinced that his ass wound meant he was gay, and of course that would mean that his immobilizing mental trauma had less to do with murdering one of his own and more to do with a quite literal case of butthurt.
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http://lumberlax.deviantart.com/art/A-Very-Sonichu-Rewrite-7-320636358 - warning for extreme violence against highly unrealistic children

iff · Apr 26, 2017 at 3:02 AM

“Platalea Magicum?” Hermione frowned. “I don’t know that one. Platalea leucorodia, of course, and Platalea ajaja but—”

“It’s a naming thing,” Ron offered. “Magicum. The magical versions of Muggle animals. Serpens Magicum, Ursus Magicum—”
“Magical bears?” Hermione turned to him, eyebrows raised.

“Sure.” Ron shrugged. “Didn’t think humans were the only ones who had magical versions popping up here and there, did you?”
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not sure this goes here but
omg what a good concept
http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hd_erised_2016/works/8607835

PotteryWalrus · Apr 28, 2017 at 7:05 PM

I still hold that this is the greatest line of fiction I have ever beheld -

As you gape in anguish, she sprawls over the table in what she obviously thinks is a pose of great sensuality, only it looks like someone spilled a box of matchsticks. You are very reluctantly turned on.
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- Lost Teeth Like White Jewels, roachpatrol XD

ChelG · Apr 30, 2017 at 7:37 PM

CG: DO I LOOK LIKE A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL?

CG: I DON'T W ANT TO LOOK AT YOUR SWEATY DISGUSTING GENITALS.

CT: D--> Oh dear

CT: D--> Does it 100k infected?

CG: NO.

CG: WAIT LET ME CHECK.

CG: NO AND FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME LOOK AT THAT PICTURE AGAIN.
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/214420

swirlingflight · May 1, 2017

He went out to the alley and sat down on a crate, and, sitting out in the cold, let the fear wash over him: he hadn't allowed himself to think about the future, about doing something else or being something else, because he'd been afraid to: it felt like pushing his luck. He hadn't allowed himself to hope for more than this: he was alive and relatively healthy and employed and he had Bucky, which was an embarrassment of riches. Hope was dangerous. Hope could hurt. Bucky always mocked him for all the fights he got into and how he got punched in the face, but getting hit was nothing. Wanting and not getting: that's what could hurt.
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from All The Angels and The Saints, a Captain America MCU fic

eta

When he finally got home, Bucky was at the table, up to his elbows in newspapers. He glanced up and then started at Steve's black eye and split lip. "Don't tell me," Bucky said. "You got into a fight with a pacifist. Oh my God, you did, didn't you. You really did," and then he heckled Steve all the way to the tap: "Seriously, Rogers - what the hell is the matter with you? You're a damaged person, you know that?"

"I'm damaged?" Steve wheeled on him; face dripping. "They're preaching nonviolence - and they hit me!"

"Okay, but you have to ask yourself..." and Steve threw the wet washcloth at him and reached for a towel.
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They give each other shit and bicker so much

ChelG · May 1, 2017 at 6:08 AM

CT: D --> If you don’t dislike the character, why do you kill him off in such a pointless manner
TC: HeY, i gIvE ThAt mOtHeRfUcKeR A WaRrIoR’S DeAtH, tHe bEsT We aLl cAn hOpE FoR In tHiS CrAzY RiDe.
CT: D --> In one poem he slips on a piece of soap and cracks open his head
CT: D --> Is that a warrior’s death
TC: WeLl, He dId sLiP ThE SoAp iN A MiLiTaRy sHoWeR So i gUeSs tHaT CoUnTs.
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/3515180

garden · May 2, 2017 at 2:24 AM

“Now let’s find Solas and get out of here. Attending this party was bad enough the first time.”

“He is there,” Fenris said, and nodded at the shadowy bower. “But the demon has him enthralled.”

“Oh dear,” Merrill said. There was a tiny wrinkle of concern between her eyebrows. “Um. Well, we could try asking her to let him go?”

“Asking?”

“She seems nice!” Merrill said.

“She seems nice,” Fenris repeated incredulously.

“You still haven’t explained exactly how you got away from her, Daisy,” said Varric.

“Oh, I had sex with her.” She looked slightly confused when she saw their expressions. “Was I… not supposed to? She just wants to give people things they want. It seemed like the easiest way.”

Fenris kept staring at her. Varric opened and closed his mouth several times and then appeared to give up. “Asking nicely,” he said instead. “Well. Anyone got a better idea?”
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from By The Still Waters (dragon age, fenris/hawke)

swirlingflight · May 2, 2017 at 6:15 PM

garden said: ↑

from By The Still Waters (dragon age, fenris/hawke)
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"I have to say, Hawke," said Varric, "if the key to your sanity is do as much terrifying shit as possible, I think you're good to go. I mean, have you met you?"
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A++

ChelG · May 2, 2017 at 6:38 PM

“Hi there, West!” Prussia hollered and lifted his hand in greeting.

The people who were standing on the Wall with him didn’t realise he was addressing a person and instantly mimicked his gesture.

“Hi there, West!”
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https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7340521/2/Shadows-on-the-Walls

ChelG · May 3, 2017

“I'll talk even if you tell me not you, you ARROGANT WHORE!” the burly sergeant roared before returning his attention to the glowering Shining Armor. “Shining Armor, listen to me! Female supremacy is an abomination against the gods! No man is meant to be ruled over by a woman! It breaks the natural order of things! [LURID DESCRIPTION OF RAPE CUT FOR THE PURPOSE OF THIS QUOTE] And it can all be yours if you just HELP US!”

Shining Armor stared at him for a long moment and said, “Dude, I get all that anyway.”

The caribou just stared at him in shock. “Wait... what?” the sergeant said.

Cadance blushed, giggling. Shining Armor smirked, putting an arm around her. “My wife is one of the most sexually creative women alive. I get everything you just said any time I want, PLUS MORE. We've NEVER had a boring evening together since we married, and I doubt we ever will,” Shining Armor said. He grinned, and looked at Cadance, adding, “In fact... speaking of that asswork you mentioned... we had a rather fun time last night, didn't we?”

Cadance nodded, smirking. “This is the first time today I've been able to sit down without it hurting in all the right ways,” she said. The two lovers giggled and shared a tender kiss, the caribou all gagging at the sight of it.

Shining Armor smirked, and turned his attention back to the caribou. “In addition, Cadance is also one of the kindest, sweetest, most loving and most intelligent mares I've ever met. I have everything I want in her. Why would I sacrifice some of her best attributes just to get a little more sex?” He snickered, and added, “Although considering how much sex we have to begin with, I have no idea how we could possibly ADD more. Which reminds me... Our anniversary is coming up. Anything special you want to do?
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“Permit me to introduce myself properly,” he said. “I am Discord. Spirit of Chaos and reformed spirit of Disharmony. I am one who can steal the sun and moon from their wielders and make them dance the Tennessee Waltz. Through my power, rain turns to chocolate milk, clouds turn to cotton candy, and roads turn to soap. Through my power, sanity turns to madness, and reality turns to my imagination. I have broken souls. Warped minds. Twisted bodies. Shredded nations. AND YOU TRIED TO RAPE SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT.”
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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/282570/1/fall-of-the-caribou/fall-of-the-caribou

ChelG · May 8, 2017 at 7:25 AM

“It is a simple solution,” King Enji went on dismissively. “Tell me a number, and I will buy your silence for that price. Someone will be executed in your place, and this night never happened.”

Deku lost his temper then. “If you do that, Your Majesty, then I will march through your city streets, throwing your gold to the people and shouting the riddles’ answers at the top of my voice, while naming you an oathbreaker. I have not insulted your sense of honor, so please do not insult mine.”
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10837728/chapters/24085749

ChelG · May 8, 2017 at 11:30 AM

“We came to help you!” Frodo answered, a pleasant smile crossing his features. “Oh, and we got rid of the ring.”

“You did? Oh, bother,” Sauron said, sighing and snapping his fingers in disappointment. Gandalf decided to destroy him with his magical powers just to be on the safe side.
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http://1863-project.tumblr.com/post/107623804721/have-i-ever-mentioned-the-time-when-i-was-a-senior

ChelG · May 17, 2017 at 2:03 PM

In retrospect, maybe Jamison shouldn't have been chanting 'may all the demons of hell come in my ass', in Latin, while fucking himself with a church candle, inside the church.
[...]
The demon shifted slightly, gaze falling down to Jamison's prosthetic hand and the candle he'd been buggering himself with. "Fucks sake, kid." The demon's voice was a bass rumble even deeper than Father Brown's, and it made Jamison's already jellied knees shake. "Don't use a candle for that!"
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10845801/chapters/24078600

ChelG · May 24, 2017 at 7:05 AM

'Nonsense. You shall accompany me on this tour and we shall find you a pretty Lithuanian or Polish girl - one with good genes, strong teeth and a desperation for UK citizenship.'
'But I thought you were pro-Brexit, Aunt.'
'I am. However, we seem to have exhausted the supply of half-respectable English girls. None of them want to marry you.'
'That's because they know I'm gay!'
'Well, the language barrier shall take care of that little quibble.'
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10547060

Codeless · May 25, 2017 at 4:09 PM

“Maybe you should check on the 'sensitivity of your instruments', Carlos,” says Julie.

“Maybe you should check on the sensitivity of your face,” says Carlos, and flees.
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ChelG · May 27, 2017 at 6:01 PM

“I know, I know,” I said as I dumped my saddlebags on the sofa. “I would’ve been back sooner, but I was attacked by a vicious pack of similes in the park.”
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https://www.fimfiction.net/story/17...ter-7-dinner-and-chocolates-not-in-that-order

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Fic quotes for the soul

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Deresto Foolish Mortal

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iff Well-Known Member

PotteryWalrus halfway hideous and halfway sweet

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swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

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garden lucid dreamer

swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

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Fic quotes for the soul

ChelG Well-Known Member

The Mutant ' w '

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Deresto Foolish Mortal

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iff Well-Known Member

PotteryWalrus halfway hideous and halfway sweet

ChelG Well-Known Member

swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

ChelG Well-Known Member

garden lucid dreamer

swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

ChelG Well-Known Member

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