Fic quotes for the soul

4ppl3m1nt · Jul 16, 2017 at 3:18 AM

Potter looked up, but did not rise from his chair. ‘Murder, Malfoy?’ he asked in a defeated voice. ‘After everything that happened, you finally kill someone and it isn’t even me?’
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The Consolations of a Summer's Day

Morgan Jae · Jul 16, 2017 at 3:29 AM

"So. What. So you cry. You cry over those awful commercials with the shelter animals and you cry when your fuckhead of a father says terrible, horrible things and you cry when another black man is shot during a traffic stop. That doesn't make you weak."
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/7433142

ChelG · Jul 18, 2017 at 8:59 AM

"Here, pour me one too. Thanks. No; one doesn’t feel exactly Priapic, when one’s captain is always rousting one up at half past madman o’clock, to go hunt a whale that only wants to be left alone."

I had hoped that he would be forced to ask for an explanation of "Priapic", but, to my chagrin, he understood from the context.
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-NSFW

ChelG · Jul 21, 2017 at 7:59 PM

“Well, you cannot expect me to just leave you to die of exhaustion,” he said, lifting his left eyebrow at the man in return. “I had already paid you for services you had not rendered and I am sure that the local gossips would’ve seen something rude in my looting your corpse to retrieve my money.”
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/827326/chapters/1649231

KarrinBlue · Jul 24, 2017 at 4:04 PM

“They may take my hands. They may take my neck. They may do nothing; neither amputation nor death did much to stop my ancestor. In the end, his stories are the most powerful of all. The opening I have made in the tale is minuscule, a mere crack – but I delude myself. A leak in the dyke. Eventually it will fill the world.

Mytho and Rue agreed. A story completed remains static; they have had twenty years to be happy and bored. Mytho said that he had heart enough to spare.

She is character and duck and girl. That is why I love her. But because she is character and duck and girl, I – We will see. Glory over happiness.”
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6. THE DRUMMER GIRL PUPPET

Painted wood, charred.

Legless, the puppet is about two feet tall. The head is intact and the eyes have been painted shut, with long lashes. The drumskin is gone but the cylindrical shell is mostly unharmed although blackened. The body is hollow. Stored inside the puppet is the typewritten draft of a novelette by Knight whose final version appears in Tutu: The Short Stories. The final line goes like this: “And Uzura kept on drumming and saying 'zura, zura' and living happily for as long as she wanted. But the day came when she chose to sleep. And she did.”
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/142385

Himemiya considers for a moment. “Did you ever hear about the man who wanted to kill demons?”

“Once upon a time,” Utena mutters.

“He fought and fought,” said Himemiya, “until he couldn't fight anymore, and all the while, he shouted, 'I must kill the demons!' Then he heard a voice, and the voice said, 'no, John. You are the demons.”

“What a twist,” says Utena flatly.

Himemiya regards her placidly. “And then John became a zombie.”
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/4570065

KarrinBlue · Jul 25, 2017 at 10:21 AM

As you get out of the Lincoln the kid asks you why her Uncle Slick is always getting arrested. Crowbar tells her it’s because he’s an ignoramus. The kid says she thought it was ‘cause he’s a gangster. You give her a sharp look. That’s crap, you say. Of course he’s a gangster, you say, but he ain’t ever gotten arrested for being a gangster, and he’s not about to start now that he’s not a gangster anymore. You say you won’t tolerate talk like that from someone who lives under your roof. The kid says she’s sorry. She’s a good kid.
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/11477415

ChelG · Jul 26, 2017

He was like 98% sure gay guys didn't actually tie their cocks together in a knot like one of the other boys at the orphanage had told him.
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/10845801/chapters/24245589 NSFW

KarrinBlue · Jul 26, 2017 at 7:18 AM

In the middle of the Adirondack forest, among the vaguely Narnian pavilions and luxuriously flowing robes, a visibly pasted-on fuchsia beard is not quite enough to make Peixes blend in. Burning Wizard participants react as if a Blingee demon has crashed their thesis defense.
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https://archiveofourown.org/works/3123626?view_adult=true

ChelG · Jul 27, 2017

One from the Hetalia meme I lost the link to:

"We're settling this the Viking way."
"Burning down a village?"
"No."
"Drinking?"
"No!"
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EDIT: Found it! http://archiveofourown.org/works/591459

ChelG · Jul 27, 2017 at 6:15 AM

“Equius, if you don't get off me right now, I swear to all the nightmarish hell-creatures of the void that I am going to pull your tubular digestion sacs out of your waste-chute and make them into a jaunty inflatable representation of a barkbeast!”
“You see, it is statements like that which make me think you're upset.”
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/1826065/chapters/3921415

ChelG · Dec 6, 2017

She never calls you Dualscar or even your real name, Cronus. It’s always “writerbitch” or “kiddo” or “Enoby” or, on days when she’s feeling less charitable, “fuckwad”. Most of the appellations she gives you are fairly self-explanatory, except for Enoby. You have no idea what the significance of that is, and you haven’t been able to work up the guts to ask her. You made the mistake of asking the Grand Highblood once. Instead of giving you an answer, he laughed uproariously and made a cryptic remark about leather fishnets, which you’re pretty sure are not things that exist in reality.
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https://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/40248.html?thread=46456632#cmt46456632

ChelG · Jul 28, 2017 at 8:59 PM

The bit in a PPC mission where a Stu was charged with bad writing, being annoying, and "being an abomination against nature due to being a sandwich that walks like a man".

Codeless · Aug 7, 2017 at 6:27 PM

Nonetheless, Thor was determined to discover who had made the hammer cozy.
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Acey · Aug 7, 2017 at 6:32 PM

She googles date ideas on her phone, mumbling page titles as she sees them.

“'It's time for fun, quality time with your husband.'” She looks to Cunty, as if expecting a remark. “It has 50 ideas. ONE of them has to be relevant to me, a butch with a priss to impress.” the feline blinks slowly, which apparently Amethyst takes as a 'go for it'.

“Idea 5, 'Getting Physical on the Living Room Floor', Working out and exercising together? Are you kidding me? And 6, going birdwatching? Is that a joke???” Cunty gets up, walking towards the kitchen.

“Wait no come back! There's nothing wrong with birdwatching, it's just not very romantic!” The feline trills in response from the other room, and Amethyst returns to her phone screen. The list goes on, seeming to get more and more ridiculous with each idea.

17. Forage for Mushrooms Together.

“FORAGE FOR MUSHROOMS? IS THIS REAL? Is this what heterosexuals do?!”
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(From Eight Drinks, which is a really good Pearlmethyst humanstuck that includes Amethyst having a cat named Cunt Destroyer, Cunty for short.)

ChelG · Aug 10, 2017 at 9:05 AM

If an in-character sporking counts as a fanfic:

Albus: No, it is not at all as if I have enemies in canon, especially ones with a great deal of influence in the Ministry, such as Lucius Malfoy. After all, I am the universally adored Headmaster of Hogwarts (with no other titles), I stride about with flaming red-gold letters spelling out “I FAVOR GRYFFINDOR” hovering above my head, and my personality (or persona, if the author favors that) consists of nothing but twinkling and smiling kindly at everyone. Slytherin alumni, as everyone knows, are persecuted, hapless waifs holding no power whatsoever (unless they follow Voldemort, in which case their affiliation with him is widely known and everyone not possessed of the label of Corrupt Government Member righteously shuns them), despite coming from a House whose primary traits are cunning, resourcefulness, and ambition, because it is obvious to every reader of the books that they never exercise said traits beyond the minimal level needed to survive their heartless, unending persecution by those terrible Gryffindors. (Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, of course, do not exist except when the author is in need of a minor character.) Oh, the tragedy of it all. *lightly fans self*

Gellert: On a slightly different topic, the only magical schools of any importance in Europe are Hogwarts and Beauxbatons. (The author may decide to create a school in Japan or America, of course; if particularly attentive to canon, the author may even remember the existence of the Salem Witches’ Institute.) Durmstrang, when remembered, consists entirely of one Viktor Krum. In fact, it would simplify matters greatly if the fandom stopped theorizing as to the location of Durmstrang and acknowledged that it is located in the obscure country of Krumlandia.
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http://guardians-song.livejournal.com/263577.html

ChelG · Aug 11, 2017 at 8:44 AM

Mattimeo, Tess, Tim, and Sam each placed a paw on the planchette and it began to move to the letters carved around the board.

“G,” Tess read off as the triangular peace of wood slid back and forth. “E, T.”

“B, A, C, K,” Mattimeo continued.

“T, O.” Time read.

“B, E, D.” Sam finished.
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https://fuzzhugs.tumblr.com/post/163596413614/eulaliaaaaaa-there-are-ghosts-in-the-redwall

ChelG · Aug 12, 2017 at 4:21 PM

“So I guess Ockham’s razor is never wrong…?” Sam says when it’s been seconds and neither of them has spoken.

“Christ,” Jon replies, “that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.”
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/906859

ChelG · Aug 13, 2017 at 8:50 PM

That was the problem with Hamilton – he could be charming when he wished it, and the man was a chameleon, all things to all people. When you were with Hamilton everything seemed possible, and before you knew it you were running stark naked through a British encampment, saying awful things about the meagre proportions of the King’s manly parts, and inviting them all to pleasure you orally.

The next day he’d bring you your coffee as if nothing had happened. Or so General Washington had told him.
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/164567

ChelG · Aug 15, 2017 at 1:48 PM

Rimmer’s face became as red as a cliff in a spaghetti western, as he glared at the hat furiously. Lister thought it wouldn’t look out of place if a cowboy on a horse suddenly thundered its way out of Rimmer’s nostril yelling, ‘Yeehah!’
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http://archiveofourown.org/works/5138930/chapters/22586795

winterykite · Aug 15, 2017 at 6:46 PM

I'm trying not to just quote the whole damn fic, but have a choice snipper from one of my all-time fave girl genius fanfics, de-jägerified because I know some people here have problems parsing that:

“Well, who's to know?” the fisherman shrugged. “Count got shanked pretty good by a swan 'fore the Baron got to him. Now his nephew's the new count. New count's not sparky, though, he's just a lazy fop. Spends all his time in Pest, like he's too good for us.” The fisherman scoffed. “In my day, nobility used to mean something. Now it's all 'oh, I don't want to live here, the dining room's haunted and the ducks raid the kitchens every day for bread'! Phooey, I say. Face those feathered bandit hordes like a man deservin' of a title.”
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Fic quotes for the soul

4ppl3m1nt here to bring #content

Morgan Jae pecure. sontain. crotect.

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

ChelG Well-Known Member

KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

Codeless Cheshire Cat

Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

Log in or Sign up

Fic quotes for the soul

4ppl3m1nt here to bring #content

Morgan Jae pecure. sontain. crotect.

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

ChelG Well-Known Member

KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

Codeless Cheshire Cat

Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

ChelG Well-Known Member

winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

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