Food Fight: Mayo Discourse

I ate the parsley and lovage plants bare as a kid. (And as an adult, at least the parsley; my mom didn't grow another lovage plant after we moved.)

 

... Okay, this is true, but it also just prompted the mental image of someone just. Grabbing some grass. From the ground. And eating it. Nom.

 

I think I'd put pies, sausage rolls, empanadas, and the like in their own category separate from 'sandwich', because to me one of the defining characteristics of a sandwich is that they're made with bread rather than dough.

 

I couldn't help but read this in the same tone that I read "not all men"

 

a pie has never been sexist to me in my life, what slander is this

 

I think that also separates pizzas/calzones from sandwiches.

 

But in that case, is like... a pizza bagel a sandwich? I mean, you'd have to put two on top of each other, which would be weird, but if you did, would that count?

 

If there was a filling between the two bagels (the parts that are baked on don't count imo, just like I wouldn't stack two sesame seed bagels and call it a sandwich) then I'd concede that it was a sandwich, even though I would think whoever made it was playing a semantics joke on me/the world at large.

 

Open-faced sandwiches.

 

oh god, is a hot pocket a sandwich? i think it says it is on the box, but id count it as a very shitty calzone. my worldview is changing drastically

 

I mean. I totally did that when I was younger. Admittedly I live in a hella rural area and pesticides/various chemical poisons weren't as much an issue as whatever microorganisms I also presumably ate with said grass, but. tbh grass was the only plant I would eat for a while so??? At least I got fiber???

Eta to be fair to smol!loq, my siblings and I were encouraged by various adults to eat woodsorrel (or "lemon clover" as it's called here), clover blossoms, and honeysuckle, so I didn't just decide to stuff grass in my face out of nowhere :P

 

?????
sandwich?

 

this is deeply upsetting to witness for reasons I cannot adequately explain

 

i give up. yeah, thats a sandwich. youre a sandwich, im a sandwich. everything's a sandwich.

 

It's deeply upsetting to me because that would mean getting two mouthfuls of peanut butter and jam and then just chomping my way through a boring plain bagel

 

bagels are perfect in any form, how dare

 

probably because that bagel fell apart seconds after taking the photo, because it has no stability? too precarious to be a proper sandwich

 

Wood sorrel is yummy, though. I still sometimes eat some when I'm weeding.

 

its most upsetting to me because its like when youre trying to split one for the toaster and instead of going down the middle your knife takes a quick detour into " the bagel is now in several uneven pieces and if you toast it at least one piece is gonna burn and be nigh irretrievable from the toaster, have a nice day" territory

 

woodsorrel is tasty