Fool's Journey

"Well... I can try to teach you a few things. We can just talk about nothing. I can just let you guys wander the backyard and harass the chickens, and see if you can feel any differences?"

 

"Chickens!" Kainze votes instantly.

"I do wanna see the garden." Mischa smiles a bit, and finishes her tea.

 

"Wonderful. I'm always happy to be a showoff," He grins hugely.

It's nightfall far too quickly, though there's a set of twinkling christmas lights and a cozy little gazebo set-up in Freddie's ridiculous backyard, with comfy cushions - he'd explained that they put panels up when winter comes around, and add a door, and that it's surprisingly modular. He's brought drinks and snacks out from inside, including fruity margaritas.

There's a sudden, terrified stir among the chickens, and Henrietta attempts to hide behind Kainze, then flees for Mischa as a massive animal pads into the gazebo, sniffs the air, and heads straight for Kainze, sniffing at his chest before putting both massive paws in his lap and thoughtfully licking his face.

"....aaand that would be Spot. Uh. I guess my girlfriend's up?"

 

Kainze sniffs back at the large cat when it comes close to his chest, holding his arms up and out a bit, setting down his drink as he does. "You have a dog too??" The paws touch his lap, and he grins as he reaches in to pet and scritch behind the animal's ears, pausing as he feels the shape of them.
The raspy tongue licks his face. "This... this is not a dog...!? Is it!??"
He starts gently petting the creature's face, getting a feel for the shape of it, where the whiskers are, and scritching behind the ears. "Feels like... a cat...??? A big cat...!? Meeshee...!!? What's wrong"

Mischa picks up Henrietta, petting her feathers and trying to calm her, then pales and stares at a fucking JAGUAR walks right up to Kainze and half-climbs into his lap. "Aaaaaah Oh My Fucking Gods!!!"
Her attention snaps to Freddie when he mentions his girlfriend's up, then does a few double takes between him and the large feline. "... your girlfriend... is the jaguar...!?"

"THIS IS A JAGUAR!?" Kainze sits up a bit, surprised, then goes back to petting her. "Hi Spot~. You're sooooft~!"

 

Freddie blinks. "...what? No! My girlfriend's-"

 

"Fred, do we have any leftovers in the... Oh!" A blonde woman pauses in the doorway of the gazebo, head tilted. "We have guests! I guess that explains what Spot was so excited about."

 

Mischa pales as she sees her, hoping she didn't hear that last comment.

"... and you say I'm the fucked up one." Kainze grins at his twin, then goes back to busking his cheek with the jaguar's, making soft cat noises at her.

 

"Uh. I mean. I know. It's, er, possible, for some people, but. Uh. No. This is not a case like that," Freddie goes pink.

 

The girl draws closer, smiling, close-mouthed. "I'm Rosie. Nice to meet you, I'm sure."

 

Mischa hides her face in Henrietta's feathers, embarrassed, then raises it again when Rosie comes forward, offering her hand. "I'm Mischa."

"I'm Kainze." He doesn't stop snuggling Spot. "So if Spot's not the girlfriend... does that mean you are?"

 

Henrietta clucks nervously.

"Yep, that's right. I'm the mysterious girlfriend." She winks.

Mischa, the smell of something,,, strange, meets your nose... old and... dusty?

 

"And I left you another bottle in the back of the fridge, pulled it this morning." Freddie smiles slightly.

 

"You smell weird... like old books." Kainze comments bluntly. "Really dusty old books. I think your closet needs cleaning. Is your closet in the attic? Do you live in the attic?"

"Kainze that's not nice!" Mischa frowns and shoots him a look, then sighs and goes back to petting the chicken because of course giving him a look is useless.

"Well if I don't tell her; who will?"

 

Rosie goes pink. "Uuuh. No. I live in the... basement..." She says quietly, glancing at her boyfriend.

 

"Oh well... close enough." Kainze shrugs, "You do smell dusty though... no offence."

 

"...I just washed these," she says plantively, looking herself over, then looking at Galen with watery blue eyes. "Freddie, do I smell funny?"

 

He frowns, then furtively sniffs his girlfriend. "...no, you smell normal?"

 

"Kainze's just being weird..." Mischa covers, trying to be polite. "He does that."
"We both do that." He corrects. "But trust me; I work with books. You smell like dusty old books."

 

"....it's okay, they think I smell like Vanilla," Freddie reassures his girlfriend.

 

"But... You do though!" Mischa says. "You always do."

"It's a really nice vanilla too... ... wait.But... Mischa you said he has vanilla perfume!? He should know he smells like vanilla."

"He does!??... ... don't you??"