Goofus' fingernails and toenails are so disgusting that the mere sight of them will make you vomit. Gallant tries to keep the peace when his friends are fighting, and tries to understand both points of view.
Goofus tries to figure out both points of view so he can egg the argument on. Gallant has his money ready when he reaches the cash register so those behind him aren't inconvenienced.
Goofus pays entirely in pennies, which are randomly distributed inside a large bag that contains approximately twice as much garbage as pennies. Gallant always asks before petting an unfamiliar dog.
Goofus never asks before petting an unfamiliar lady's hair. Gallant picks up after his dog when they're on a walk.
Goofus encourages his dog to poop on the lawns of people he dislikes. Gallant obeys traffic laws and drives carefully at all times.
Goofus' license was suspended two and a half hours after he got it. Gallant doesn't call undue attention to the artificiality of the relationship between himself and service personnel.
Goofus goes on Holden-Caulfield-esque rants about the "phoniness" of cashiers who are just trying to do their jobs. Gallant's activism against big corporations is designed not to cause extra messes for service workers in those corporations.
Goofus steals items worth several hundred dollars regularly, and insists that its a form of activism Gallant helps rebuild after disasters.
Goofus is rude to everyone at the party, and for good measure, he destroys the host's house. Gallant is quiet during fire drills.
Goofus spends fire drills screaming about how the terrorists are invading and the bombs are falling and everyone's gonna die. Gallant doesn't judge people for not liking the things he likes.
Goofus makes sure only he has a fun time at disneyland. Goofus forces people he meets to like about everything he likes Gallant accept rejection of his advances without getting angry
(Necroing this thread big time because holy shit I love this game) Goofus self-identifies as an incel. Gallant’s Tumblr is a nice collection of fun things he enjoys.
Goofus is behind the infamous Tumblr pornbot problem. Gallant keeps his hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.
Goofus' Tumblr is 50% porn and 50% Discourse, including porn of himself. Gallant always pays full price when he commissions art and leaves a tip for the artist too.
Goofus hangs everything out the window, then sues the driver when he’s inevitably injured. (Also, Goofus never pays for his commissions. He has been the subject of several “artists beware” posts.) Gallant is accepting and respectful of his friends’ orientations and gender identities, and does research when he’s unfamiliar with an identity so he can better understand it.
Goofus believes that your gender identity is exclusively based on the culture surrounding you and that you should "take a good hard look" at it because you just might be a sexist for having it. He only tells this to his trans friends. (True story) Gallant is always ready by the time he says he will be.
Goofus shows up an hour late and completely hammered every. Single. Time. When Gallant is playing a video game with voice chat, he always offers helpful advice and encouragement to new players.
goofus screams on voice chat and insults everyone, their grandmas, and their dogs Gallant changes his laundry over quickly so the next person can use the machine Edit o heck thats a repeat... Gallant uses up the last of the leftovers quickly before they go off and doesnt let them get buried in the back of the fridge
