Goofus' fridge is completely filled with moldy leftovers and nothing else. Gallant's essays are always properly formatted.
Goofus' essays are written in full Homestuck typesetting using every typing quirk that exists. Gallant runs a website dedicated to fact checking.
Goofus deliberately spreads misinformation on every social media platform there is. Gallant enjoys a nice swim in the pool.
Goofus only ever goes to the pool to pee in it. He doesn't even dive in, just whips it out and goes, and walks away. Gallant keeps a small vegetable garden at his house and shares with anyone who asks. (Hoo boy why is gallant so hard to come up with things for)
Goofus also keeps a small vegetable garden, but he only gives out rotten veggies to his "friends." Gallant likes to go out for karaoke with his friends.
Goofus grabs the mic and subjects the audience to the entire bee movie script, the navy seal copypasta, and the i am john galt speech Gallant recognizes his coworkers/classmates/collaborators accomplishments and tells them their work is important
Goofus makes everyone around him do all the work and then complains about how no one around here except him does anything. Goofus wears headphones to listen to music when it's 1am and he knows other people in the house are trying to sleep.
Goofus has subwoofers installed on every audio device he owns and blasts "Can You Hear the Fuckin' Music Coming Out of My Car" 24/7. Gallant washes and separates his recyclables by type.
Goofus deliberately throws trash in the recycle bin. Gallant is a chill and friendly member of his fandoms, and frequently praises content creators.
goofus goes to conventions specifically to jump on artist alley tables and dump mustard on people's heads while belittling their work. gallant leaves long, thought-out comments on every fic he likes.
Goofus leaves links to virus-laden porn sites on every fic he likes. Gallant pays his share of the rent on time.
Goofus conveniently "forgets" to pay his share of the rent, period. Gallant is supportive of newbie cosplayers.
Goofus wanders the convention floor offering unsolicited, condescending advice to every cosplayer he sees. Gallant is polite to fellow passengers and tries to be unobtrusive when using public transit.
Goofus makes it a point to find out just how many peoples laps he can sit in before his stop comes up. Gallant creates sites dedicated to helping newbies with code.
Goofus goes onto computer help forums and tells them to delete System32. Gallant parks only in legal, designated parking spaces.
Goofus somehow has managed to park ON other cars before. Gallant always cites his sources and they're always kept up to date and valid.
Goofus once put a piece of vital data from another book in a footnote and didn't even put it in the bibliography Gallant volunteers as a dog-walker at the local shelter
Goofus is banned from the local shelter. We'll just...leave it at that. While there are some music genres Gallant's not fond of personally, he recognizes that this is just a matter of opinion and that those genres have merit too.
The last time someone told Goofus they liked a genre of music he didn't like, he went on an hour-long rant about exactly how wrong and idiotic they were and why their music was terrible. Gallant tries to encourage young artists by reblogging and complimenting their art, and offering constructive criticism if asked for.
Goofus also "encourages" young artists by offering to teach them technical skill for a few dollars a lesson, and teaches them blatantly incorrect information. Gallant donates his clothes to Goodwill.
