Goofus makes a point of hiking around an overpopulated duck pond immediately before coming to your house. Gallant gives thoughtful, entertaining toasts at parties and receptions.
Goofus gets smashed and compliments the toast receiver on their nice butt while lowkey insulting their fashion choices Gallant thinks people should ship fictional characters however they want
Goofus doxxes people who ship characters he doesn't like and insists that his ships are the only Good and Correct ships and if you don't ship them then you're probably racist abuse apologising trash. Gallant always pays for his commissions on time and never complains about artists prices.
Goofus whines that he should get art for free because "you're drawing all the time anyway, it's easy" and then changes the details of his not-commission 17 times in disjointed emails. Gallant always puts a fresh bag in the trash can after taking the trash out.
Goofus's trash can is the foundation of a six foot high trash Jenga tower. Gallant removes his laptop from the bag and takes off his shoes and belt before going through airport security.
Goofus looks up "things that look like bombs on scanners" and fills his suitcase and clothes with them just to get a patdown, which he spends making creepy eyes at the TSA officer. Gallant always dresses professionally for job interviews.
Goofus wears a coat to job interviews. A coat and nothing else. Gallant always keeps a small stack of pads and/or tampons in his bag, just in case someone's period starts early and they're not prepared.
Goodus steals other peoples pads/tampons and flushes them down the toilet. Gallant gets thoughtful birthday gifts for people in his life.
Goofus gives people stuff he wants, then takes it. #goofus is my dad Gallant is careful when writing fanfiction to make sure everyone is in character.
Goofus mischaracterizes all female characters as either nagging shrews or pretty, nurturing, supportive simpletons. Gallant compliments people when they've clearly put effort into their appearance.
Goofus comments on their appearance only to say that they shouldn't have even bothered, because they look terrible. Gallant is nice to children.
Goofus edits gore screamers into Disney movies. Gallant puts books he takes off the shelf at the library on the cart to be put back.
Goofus is the reason I keep literally digging up lost library books in Stardew Valley. Gallant takes group pictures for strangers.
Goofus pretends he's going to take their group picture and then steals their phone or camera for himself. Gallant turns his schoolwork in on time.
Goofus turns in whale.to printouts a month late. Gallant calls his workplace to warn them when he can't come in due to unforeseen circumstances.
Goofus doesn't bother calling when he's not going to show up, which is always. (He's never had a job for very long.) Gallant returns books that his friends have let him borrow in pristine condition.
People usually don't want their books back after they see the state Goofus leaves them in. Gallant knocks and waits for permission to come in before entering people's bedrooms.
Goofus doesn't understand the concept of doors to the point that he frequently leaves his own open even when you really wish he wouldn't. Gallant makes sure to ask his roommates before bringing a date home for shenanigans
Goofus bangs his date in his roommate's bed. Gallant keeps his hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times.
Goofus blatantly hangs his arms and hands and sometimes even legs and feet out the window. Gallant makes sure to feed his neighbor's pets when they ask him to because they are away on vacation.
