Goofus leaves the vacuum cord strung around the room like Christmas lights. Gallant brushes his teeth twice daily.
Goofus brushes his teeth three times daily, with your toothbrush, because he 'forgot' it was yours. It doesn't matter how many times you replace it, he always uses your toothbrush. He doesn't even have a toothbrush of his own. Gallant is polite when critiquing people's writing.
Goofus buys all the copies of your lovingly-crafted novel and burns them. Gallant is kind to beginner cosplayers and is always willing to help and give advice if asked.
Goofus is literally that guy in the Homestuck fandom who called himself a professional cosplayer and said he had no time for anyone who wasn't an elite, and was very rude about it all. Gallant enjoys discussing literature with his friends in book club and debating what certain things in it might symbolize.
Goofus is literally Sigmund Freud. Gallant takes his clean laundry out of the dryer quickly after it's done so other people can use the machine
@chaoticArbiter i was just about to say that for cosplay goofus lol goofus takes every available dryer and puts like two clothing articles in each claiming they have to be separate gallant always returns other people's mail that he receives by mistake
Goofus steals mail out of his neighbors' mailboxes to commit identity theft. Gallant starts the dishwasher as soon as it's full.
Goofus doesn't even put things in the dishwasher, he just leaves them in the sink and lets them pile up and then insists you should wash them. Gallant lets his friends crash at his place when they have nowhere to go.
Goofus never invites anyone over, and if anyone asks if they can visit, he tells them he's renovating and can't accomodate guests. He's been "renovating" for over a decade. Gallant maintains a socially appropriate distance from people, and apologises if he steps on someone's toes.
Goofus does the "I'M NOT TOUCHING YOOOUUU" thing constantly. Gallant cleans dishes and puts away food as he goes when cooking.
Goofus leaves the food and dishes out for several days after the fact, until someone else cleans it up. Gallant makes you soup when you're sick.
Goofus' soup is the reason you're sick in the first place. Gallant likes a good drink now and then, but he never drinks to excess.
Goofus can't show his face in the local sushi bar due to an incident with three barrels of sake, a hibachi chef and two underage waitresses. Goofus is my brother-in-law Gallant pays his share of the rent on time if not early.
Goofus mails the office a bomb 2 weeks late labeled "rent check enclosed." Gallant always cleans up after his dog on walks.
Goofus insists on crashing rent-free at Gallant's place. (EDIT: NINJA'd!) Goofus' dog isn't allowed at the dog park anymore for so many reasons. Gallant volunteers at a homeless shelter.
Goofus is in that one UK college secret society club that requires burning a 100-pound note in front of a homeless person. Gallant obeys the speed limit.
(pops in) Goofus drives so fast the cops can't even catch him without a blockade or an accident. Gallant remembers to do his chores.
Goofus loudly insists he did his chores and you messed everything he did up to make him look bad. Gallant offers suggestions of books he thinks people might like when they ask for recommendations, but doesn't get upset if they don't go for them.
Goofus offers suggestions of which books work best as projectile weapons. Gallant gives back the $5 he saw you drop.
