Goofus grabs your teacup while it's brewing and pours it out because "YOU WEREN'T DRINKING IT." Gallant puts out bird feeders for his local wildlife.
Goofus puts electrified wire on the bird feeders, to watch the birds startle and run off. Gallant keeps weeds out of his lawn.
Goofus also keeps weeds off his property... by setting his lawn on fire. Gallant logs out of all his accounts and closes all his windows when he's done using a computer that isn't his own.
Goofus finishes by deleting most of their files and setting their browser homepage to lemonparty. Gallant washes his bed linens regularly.
Setting fire to your computer and buying a new one after Goofus has used it will still not free you from the Curse of the Porn Pop-Ups. (Ed: Shit, ninja'd. Um, Goofus's bed sheets no longer bend?) Gallant knows what times are and are not appropriate for the discussion of politics.
Goofus knows what times are and aren't appropriate for the discussion of politics, and delights in ignoring said rules. Gallant always has a spare pen to lend.
Goofus always has a spare "pen" to lend, and will then stage-whisper that the pen is his penis. Gallant respects that some people like the ships he dislikes, and simply blacklists ones he'd rather not see.
Goofus posts full movie scripts and other space-eating spam in the tag of a ship that makes him uncomfortable. Gallant makes sure everyone in the car gets a chance to play their preferred music during a long drive.
Goofus will chew through the aux cable rather than let anyone else have it. Gallant respects others' personal space.
Goofus has no concept of personal space Gallant will offer to get you something that you cannot reach
Goofus will take your things and put them where you can't reach them, including your things you use to reach those places. Gallant gives his mother a card on Mother's Day.
Goofus will laugh at you if you ask for help (and then kick the chair out from under your feet when you give up and try to get it on your own). Ninja'd! Um. And I actually have no idea what to put for that one, sorry LadyNighteyes </3 ((help i'm forgetting which scenarios we've already had in this thread)) Gallant links his friends to things he thinks they'll enjoy
Goofus gives his mother necrotizing fasciitis on Mother's Day? Goofus links his friends to screamers. Gallant folds his laundry and puts it away.
If Goofus finds out that a friends ships something he doesn't approve of, he no longer wishes to be friends with them. Gallant warns for spoilers when discussing recent media online and avoids giving them out in in-person conversation.
Goofus drives by lines outside midnight releases and shouts the ending. Gallant gets his pets spayed.
Goofus doesn't understand the meaning of spaying, and releases every litter his pets produce into the wild as soon as they are born. They all die. Gallant doesn't base whether he wants to be friends with someone on whether or not they agree with all of his political ideologies.
Goofus has a 30-page questionnaire he requires everyone he meets to fill out before he decides whether he hates them. The answer has never yet been no. Gallant gives thoughtful gifts on birthdays and other appropriate occasions.
Goofus never gives gifts, but always expects people to give him gifts. Gallant had a fun time at Disneyland.
Goofus had a fun time at Disneyland and is no longer allowed back. Gallant keeps his fingernails and toenails neatly groomed.
