Fruity Rumpus Asshole Party - D&D Edition [Closed RP]

"Oh, he won't mind. The walls are nice and thick. One time I was up late studying some lore for Esra, and it turned out there was a brawl going on downstairs and I never heard a peep! As for worrying about people giving you weird looks - I'll just take you up the back way." She winks.

 

Lei is super amused at all the blatant flirting happening right next to him, but at the last thing Altea says he bursts into choked laughter.

["Oh my god Rose, really???"]

 

Nowhere Mann's brows lift, a slow grin spreads across his face. "Aww, well, ain't you sweet. Yeah, I think that'll work out just fine..." He gives giggling Lei a sidelong smirk, and his tail makes a sassy little flick.

[Gamzee is grinning like a doofus. "Fuck yeah, first time and I already scored a fine-ass church lady!"]

 

["Why Dave, I have no idea what you could be referring too. And I'm sure such an innocent girl doesn't either. Excellent work, Gamzee."]

"Do either of you want to lay low for the evening? There's plenty of space in my room." She says it without any guile, but there's a twinkle in her eye.

 

Pyralspite rolls her eyes, although her grin makes it plain that she has no real issue with the line of the conversation. After all paladin or no, she's not opposed to the odd tumble herself. She snorts at the offer. "If you think the people here would be that opposed to seeing a dragonborn, I could just go back and take your grandmother's offer of a room."

["Congratulations Gamzee, just remember that having sex with clerics isn't the point of the game."]

 

Lei's choked laughter turns into garden variety choking when Altea invites him along for the ride. He does a skittish little side-step and clears his throat. "I think I should probably look after Snoop in a nice, quiet room if that's okay. Gotta protect the baby's delicate ears." He carefully places a hand over Snoop's overlarge ears, flattening them for a second before they spring back up naturally.

 

"Oh sure thing!" Altea beams at Lei like with all the warmth of the sun, and grabs Nowhere Mann's hand. "Come on, Mr. Mann, I've give you the private tour." She practically skips away with him around the corner of the large building she'd stopped you all in front of.

The building itself is a two story wooden construct with what look in the darkness to be ceramic roof tiles. The glow of firelight scatters across the windows downstairs, and you can dimly hear the occasional laugh and snippets of conversation through the walls. A sign hangs above the entrance, picturing an otter shouldering open a door. In simple, rough writing, "The Homely Holt" is painted above the picture.

 

Lei takes a look at the large building and starts after her quickly, calling out, "Altea WAIT! You were going to write your father a note? Or introduce us?"

He really doesn't want to follow her, but he also doesn't want to sleep in a barn.

 

Altea and your tiefling companion are gone.

 

Pyralspite gives Lei a nudge with her elbow. "I don't think either of them are coming back. Our best bet is to go in and explain the situation to him. I'm sure he'll be understanding, as her grandmother at least didn't seem that surprised by her... behaviour."

 

"Well, considering how she was taking him up the back way," He coughs indelicately. "In their explicitly sound proofed rooms no less, I doubt she wants him to know what she's up to. She wouldn't be sneaking around otherwise. It's not like it's any hour for a young woman to be running around though, I think it would be better if we just say she and her grandmother send their regards when we explain the situation."

 

Pyralspite raises her brow ridges. "Not any hour for a young woman to be running around? So you think I should be safely tucked up inside, do you?" She makes a small sound of anger, striding forward to open the inn door.

 

"No! That's not what I-. I meant it's not what your typical rural father would-. I'm so sorry for-." Lei scrambles after Pyralspite; their story about being out all night with Esra will not hold together if they go in separately.

 

You both step inside and find a taven filled with around twenty or so people - bustling for a town so small, and so late at night. You both draw some stares as you enter, Pyralspite more than Lei, but a few people hail you with friendly greetings.

Behind the bar stands a thick-set bear of a man. His biceps bulge in the confines of his mossy green shirt sleeves, which are already rolled up. He has grey-streaked auburn hair that seems to be braided and wrapped around the back of his head, and a short, well maintained beard. His face is lit with a smile before he even sees you, and it brightens several watts once you catch his eye. He raises a mug and calls out.

"Ho there, friends! It's a cold evening, come warm yourselves by the fire for a spell, and welcome to The Homely Holt!"

 

Still a little grumpy because she's tired, stiff, and had a half elf accidentally imply she couldn't look after herself at night, Pyralspite puts that aside for a bright smile, which she directs towards the man behind the bar as she approaches. "Hello, and thank you for the warm greeting! Esra told us we'd be welcome here, seems she was right." She places her hands on the bar, leaning against it slightly to take a little weight off her feet.

 

Lei follows Pyralspite up to the bar, a bit wary of her anger but making sure to speak so that the owner and people nearby can hear him without needing to shout or be obnoxious. "We've just arrived in town tonight and already went on something of an adventure with Esra, and had the pleasure of getting to meet Altea briefly as well."

 

"My Ma raised me right! And if you've come from her and my girl at this wee hour, I expect you'll be after a drink and a place to hang your boots for the night." He slides an empty stein along to Pyralspite, and plonks one down in from of Lei as well. "An adventure, you say? I'm sure we'd all like a good story to rouse the hearts!" A chorus of approving cheers rises from behind you both. "But before you get to regaling us with your tale, best be introducing myself." The large man rests his forearms on the pitted wooden surface of the bar, and his smile is just as bright and welcoming as Altea and Esra's. "The name is Jonah, Jonah Branson! Some folk around here call me 'Jugs'."

Up close, his eyes are the same pale blue as his mother's, and his face is faintly freckled.

 

"Well Jonah Branson, it's a pleasure to meet you, and I only hope everyone in these parts is as friendly as you and your family are. I'm Honorable Pyralspite, although in human lands people seem more comfortable calling me Pyralspite, and my travelling companion here is Lei." She gestures to the little elf man as she says his name. The only sign of her irritation is that the tip of her tail twitches every so often, and as it was only a slight anger to begin with, it's already becoming less frequent.

 

Lei lowers his pack to the floor and tucks it up against the seat he was probably meant to occupy. "As Pyralspite says, the reputation of your family and your town precedes you; as soon as we showed up, and with a strange story no less, we welcomed and aided by your generous lady mother and kind daughter. We traveled here tonight from Nestoc, as I'm sure many of your visitors have done in the past, but just outside your beautiful village we spotted a very strange sight indeed."

Lei goes on to vividly describe the mysterious figure fleeing with super natural speed into the forest, the potent, clinging evil of the desecrated soil, and the mad rush to find someone to give aid. Pyralspite's bravery and skill are touched heavily upon, and he takes pains to portray Esra being as being her stalwart and sensible self, that they might recognize her in his telling. The incident with multiple rabbits is described humorously; Lei being pretty sure that the delicate city boy's fright over field rodents will bring a laugh or two. The evil's sudden disappearance and their trek into the woods is more dramatic, making much of fellow cleric and paladin working together in battle, and Pyralspites's heroism along with her exotic fighting capabilities.

He makes sure that Snoop's fluffy head makes an appearence when he describes the heartbreaking circumstance that led to a mother wolf striving to defend her only child, only to fall unwittingly, and the cub's sudden yet strong trust toward himself. The story ends with their battle cleric leading them back to her temple, promising to take up the search again in the morning, and Altea committing them to her father's excellent care after feeding them amazingly well.

"She and Esra both send their regards, and offered us more hospitality and boar than we had any right to hope for, especially with dawn services starting only a few hours from now."

["I'mma roll for storytelling, this should be good. Ahaha, I got a 27 total."]

 

["Twenty seven. Good lord."]

Jonah listens, enraptured. And he's not the only one. You both become aware of chairs being drawn up closer to the bar, of sudden intense silence as the audience hangs on Lei's every word. Even the cub, who was starting to get a little nervous as the increased noise, quiets. When the tale is told, there's a few moments of silence before coins are being slapped down on the bar and people are talking. Some are buying you drinks, and others are tipping you.

["You gain 2GP."]

"By Baerun's blood, sounds like you've had quite the night!" Jonah pours drink after drink, having to raise his voice slightly over the sudden clamor at the bar. "I have to say, this answers a lot of questions."

"Aye, that it does." Another voice, distinct from the crowd, pipes up. The mass of people part before a lithe, wiry woman who looks to be in her late thirties. She eases onto the stool next to Pyralspite. "It brings up more though."

"Lei, Honourable! Allow me to introduce you to Giselle Raisaire. She owns the farm you found this sinister figure on, and is the backbone of this town. We'd all be doomed without her tireless efforts to keep bread and cheese on our tables."

"Ah, stuff your flattery Jugs. You know it ain't getting you anywhere." Giselle rolls grey eyes that seem oddly small in her round face. Her nose is strongly beaked, and her lips thin. Her brow is marked by frown lines, and her short straw blond hair is streaked with grey. She reaches across in front of Pyralspite to grab one of the filled steins, and drains a good half of it in one hit before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Dressed simply, in a sleeveless button down shirt and long, plain trousers, there is an immediate sense of practicality about her.

"I am shocked, Ellie. Shocked. I am an honorable man!" Jonah grins at her, and the crowd around you all starts to disperse as people offer a few more words of thanks for an excellent story and return to their tables.

"Yeah, and you can stuff your honor up with your flattery." Giselle finishes the drink. Despite her words, there's no hostility in her tone. This is banter that comes with years of easy familiarity. She turns to regard you both, sizing you up. "You'll do."