Fruity Rumpus Asshole Party - D&D Edition [Closed RP]

As Lei recounts their adventure, Pyralspite finds herself listening intently, and has to remind herself a couple of times that she was there too. Lei is an incredible storyteller, and when he finishes she looks around in a little surprise at the crowd who'd drawn up around them, not even having noticed them before that moment. Pyralspite turns to take a look at Giselle, offering her a smile, although the sizing up confuses her somewhat. She scratches the side of her jaw with one talon, feeling unusually awkward. "Ah, it's good to meet you, but we'll do for what?"

 

The energy of the evening seems to give life to his story, and certainly seems to have given something worthwhile to the pub's patrons. Lei accepts everyone's praise happily, making sure to greet each person who offers him coin or drinks individually. A tankard ends up in his hands, but he doesn't drink anymore than a sip for show.

The older farmer woman, and apparent owner of the land they'd been tramping around, faintly alarms Lei at first glance. He'd quite like to know what he'll do for as well. "I do hope that your land will recover quickly from whatever was done to it. There seems to be of a trend along these in the area according to Esra and your local druid, whose name escapes me."

 

"For sorting this fucking mess out." Giselle raises a finger toward Jonah, who slides her another drink. "I'm sick of going to work my fields and finding my crops dying on me. And now we know why, and you can clearly handle yourselves. I'll pay your group five hundred gold to make this go away. That's half my profit for the season, but if this shit keeps up then I'm not going to have anything to sell in the next." She pauses, takes a drink, then cranes her head over her shoulder and bellows: "OI. VESTA. Get yer ass up here already."

From in front of the fireplace, a great furry mass stretches. What casual inspection would have led you to believe was a rug or trophy turns out to be a massive mottled black and brown cat of some kind. It pads up to the bar, tail thrashing. Its demeanor suggests irritation.

"Quit pussyfooting around, we need information." She pauses, and then guffaws at her own joke. The cat's ears flick back for a moment, and then the beast seems to curl into itself and poof out of existence.

In its place, sitting cross-legged on the floor, is an elf.

 

Pyralspite opens her mouth to protest that they can't possibly take half her profit, as she was planning on investigating and hopefully dealing with the evil presence even without pay (she's pretty sure that's the sort of thing a paladin does) but instead finds herself staring with a slightly slack jaw at the giant cat that just turned into a person. She shuts her mouth with a quiet click of teeth against teeth. Lei wasn't kidding about people being able to turn into animals.

 

A contract. A contract for a portion of five-hundred gold. Like a real adventuring party, where he's a real bard. Lei notices the arrival of the druid, but quickly goes to answer Giselle. "I don't know what my companions think, and I cannot speak for them, but to me that seems like fair and more than fair compensation for a potentially dangerous and somewhat unknown task. The two of us had already committed to venturing out tomorrow along with Esra and, if she chooses, Vesta, who Esra has spoken highly of." Lei nods respectfully toward the now-elf on the floor.

 

Lei essentially commits himself and Pyralspite to taking shares of five hundred gold from Giselle, before Pyralspite has a chance to convince her they'll do it for less, and he is so frustrating. She turns fully towards Vesta, and her tail just so happens to smack the back of Lei's calves as she does.

 

Something smacks the backs of Lei's legs and startles him so badly he nearly stumbles, and definitely jostles Snoop from their doze. He looks behind himself, not knowing what to expect, a dog maybe? and sees the flash of Pyralspite's white tail. He adjusts the full, sleepy puppy in it's sling and scoots to put his pack between himself and Pyralspite, casting a nervous, confused glance at her before turning his smile back on Giselle and Vesta.

 

Vesta is an elf with an odd face. It's remarkably bland for an elf - nothing particularly beautiful or striking. Just...average. Their hair is a light brown that falls just past mid shoulder, and their eyes almost perfectly match. Vesta is wearing a long and decidedly unflattering buttercup yellow robe, which is heavily stained with mud from hem to knee. A field mouse with tawny fur peeks out from the left, billowy sleeve. It quickly scampers up, climbing into their hair and nesting in it.


"You didn't have to yell," they observe, high voice mild. "I have excellent hearing even when I'm not in that form."


"She's just sour tonight, Vesta. Don't worry yourself on her accord. Do you want to sit up on the bar?" Jonah says, clearing a space.


"Yes, thank you." The druid unfolds from their cross legged position and eases up onto the bar instead. Then crosses their legs again, placing their hands in their lap. "You're too good to me, Jonah."


"It's what you deserve," Jonah smiles, and it's almost a carbon copy of the smile Altea turned on Nowhere Mann before taking his hand and absconding with him. "Can I get you anything?"


"Your smile is enough."


"UGH." Giselle makes a decidedly obscene gesture. "SOME of us have shit to do, Jugs. Like figure out what the fuck is happening to our land. Right, Vesta?"


"There is no reason I cannot multi-task, Giselle."


"UGH." She paused. "Ugh. Look, just tell 'em what you told me about the spread of the gross dirt and you two can go shag in the cellar for all I care."


"You're always so crude, Giselle." Vesta's expression doesn't change at all from the pleasant, even tone. Their fingers are constantly in motion, however, twisting around each other.

"Bite me."

Vesta turns their head minutely to regard both of you. "The field where you found this hooded stranger is one that has previously shown no signs of corruption. However, it completes a pattern. At each of the cardinal points surrounding the town, dark and twisted energy has taken root. It spreads slowly, but continuously. Vegetation sickens and dies, and animals flee. It seems as though tonight you stopped whatever ritual would have seeded the last point. Or at least stalled it. Were it to have been completed, the town would have been fenced in by this darkness."

 

["Oh, and Gamzee - roll a performance check, if you could."]

 

["...Wow Rose. All this plus that drawing you did is making the daddy jokes much more difficult to suppress."]

"That sounds quite frightening, do you have any idea of what they were, or are, attempting to accomplish?

 

[Rose winks.]

"To kill the land." Vesta replies.

 

["Do you want the fictional tavern owner to be your lusus, Dave? He does look strong enough to fend off other predators quite easily, so I understand the appeal."]

Vesta and Jonah flirting is rather charming to watch, if disappointing, as Jonah really is quite attractive for a human. All those muscles absolutely have their appeal. Anyway, more importantly, Vesta's description of previous events and the way that the town would have been fenced in is worrying. Pyralspite taps her fingers thoughtfully on the bar's surface. "Is there anything special about tonight? Or any of the nights the previous corruptions have started? They could only be able to do whatever magic they're doing at specific times, which would give us more time to work."

 

[Gamzee rolls, then thrusts both fists in the air triumphantly. "FUCK YEAH, MOTHERFUCKING TWENTY."]

 

You all suddenly hear some loud, if somewhat muffled, cries of clear delight...Followed by what sounds like a goat bleating. Jonah tilts his head to one side, then chuckles.
"Sounds like someone's having fun down the lane."

["I cannot believe the things you roll twenties on. Quite frankly it's amazing. Also hilarious."]

 

["Rose, would it be an intelligence or a wisdom check to work out who's having fun?"]

 

["Oh yeah Tez, I want him to put me to bed at night and tell me I'm his good b-." Gamzee crows and Dave absolutely dissolves into laughter, motioning helplessly for the others to give him a moment.]

 

[Gamzee is doing an insufferable chair-dance. At one point he makes eye contact with Terezi and griiiins smugly--"not the object of the game" his narrow clown ass, HE WINS FOREVER.]

 

[Rose snorts, and then dissolves into giggles. She pulls her hood down over her face, waving her hand in a futile attempt to somehow will herself into composure. "I...ah...you pick?" She manages to wheeze out.]

 

["Well, I'm better at wisdom." She rolls the die, very straight-faced, and then dissolves into giggles when she tries to report her result, finally gasping, "It's an eight."]

 

["Someone is having an excellent - quite possibly morally questionable - time with a goat, somewhere. You can't...You. You can't." She gasps. "You have no idea who it could possibly be. Truly, you are stumped."]