Fruity Rumpus Asshole Party - D&D Edition [Closed RP]

[Right when Dave is about to surface Terezi rolls hilariously low and he collapses sideways like a slow motion tree falling. He wheezes quietly to himself, wiping his eyes under his glasses.]

 

[Terezi folds almost double with laughter, head nearly touching the table. Faintly, between the cackles, come the words, "With a goat!"

 

[Rose can't take this. She puts on the auburn wig again, and flutters her eyelashes at Gamzee, before flattening her hands on the table, throwing her head back, and pretending to pant. "Oh, Oh, Mr. Mann. Oh. Oh. Oh. OH! OH! YES. YES. YES! MORE!" ]

 

[On pure instinct Dave launches himself as quickly and as far away from his sister as he can, ending up practically draped across Terezi's lap in his bid for escape. "AUGH NO ROSE NOOOOOO."]

 

[Still laughing hard enough that her eyes are squeezed shut, Terezi scandalously pats Dave over the mouth. "No, no, Altea."]

 

[Dave rolls onto the floor and does a horrified flail worthy of Karkat. "My ears, my poor innocent ears."]

 

[Gamzee pauses in mid-boogie to stare at Rose in open-mouthed fascination. He looks over at Dave and Terezi. "Is this how this shit is usually going with alla y'all? ''CAUSE DAMN, I BEEN MISSING OUT."

Then, as Rose/Altea's cries hit a particularly joyous note, Gamzee contributes with a surprisingly loud BLEAT, followed by another, and another, and then he all but rolls out of his seat laughing, all curled up like a pillbug.]

 

["GAMZEE. Gamzee." Rose is still waving her hand, and she leans over, sides heaving with laughter, to pat his shoulder. It's more like slapping, and she's crying with laughter. "Gamzee. Roll me. Roll me. A co..." She dissolves into more giggles, which turn into hiccups. "A consti-hic-constitution chec-hic."]

 

[As everyone's apparently falling to the floor, Terezi joins Dave, curling around him and giggling helplessly, batting weakly at his flailing. Joining this game was the best decision she's ever made.]

 

[Wheezing, Gamzee gropes for a dice, misses, flails, finally gets it in his fist, and flings it. It lands with the 20 side up. Gamzee gapes at it unbelievingly. "HOLY FUCKING FUCK."]

 

[Dave clings to Terezi's white dragon cape and practically wails,"GAMZEE STOP ROLLING YOUR WEIGHTED SEX DICE FOR GOD'S SAKE."]

 

[Gamzee sprawls and erupts into new cackles and makes an incredibly lewd gesture involving shame globes. "HERE'S YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN' WEIGHTED SEX DICE."]

 

[Rose is done. Stick a fork in her, she's finished, and she slowly topples backward off the beanbag.]

 

[Terezi shrieks with laughter, burying her face in Dave's cloak in return and muffling herself with it.]

 

[Karkat had made himself comfortable in a soft chair with a stack of well worn novels, ready to stay put for the long haul since he promised Gamzee he'd stay close. It'd been quite a while without incident, and he'd started to drift off to sleep, when sudden shrieking by multiple people startles fully awake. It sounds like... laughter? Maybe? For a few seconds Karkat is glad they're having fun but then there's various wails of distress and... the hell is that moaning noise?

He heaves himself to his feet, walks into the hallway, and sticks his head in through the door. The sight he's greeted with is fucking bizarre. Rose is sprawled on her back, crying with laughter. His human boyfriend and Terezi are curled around each other in a tangle of capes while cackling and making dying whale noises, and Gamzee is honking more joyously than he's seen him do in ages.

Karkat quietly withdraws his head from the door, blinks a few times, and heads back to his book pile.]

 

["You. You take everything she's giving you...quite literally...like a champion. Someone will be - hic - missing her dawn service. She's not going to care. She has never been happier." Rose rolls onto her side, and then pushes herself up onto her hands and knees and starts crawling toward the door. "I need a break. I need. Something. I cannot-" She breaks down in laughter again. "Weighted sex dice."]

 

[After laying, incapacitated for a minute, Rose manages to somewhat compose herself. Although the hiccups won't stop being a thing. "Alright. Excellent session so far. I'm proud of all of you. And also slightly ashamed. But pride wins the day. Let us have a brief intermission, I'll call in the Mayor, and we can eat and then return to the serious story I've crafted for us."]

 

[After Rose manages to get to her feet and leave, presumably in search of the Mayor, Dave tries to wrestle himself free of the caped clusterfuck he and Terezi have managed to make of themselves. When he speaks his voice is slightly muffled from his face being squished into the floor. "Help, I can't breathe, I'm being strangled, your kink is not my kink Tez, release me from cape hell please!"]

 

[Still a little breathless from how hard she was laughing, Terezi lifts her face from Dave's deliciously distracting red cape and gropes around to feel for where her cape is supposedly wrapped around his neck or something. "Oh shush, a little strangulation never hurt anyone permanently."]

 

[When Terezi lets go of where she'd buried her face in Dave's cape, he begins the process of wiggling and rolling to freedom. When he feels her fingers on his neck he squeaks in an unmanly manner and finally pops free of the tangle. Somehow his glasses managed to stay mostly on his face, but his hair is a disaster. "This is exactly one of the reasons why capes are a bad idea; they're nothing but a hazard."]