Fruity Rumpus Asshole Party - D&D Edition [Closed RP]

[Terezi leans over to sniff suspiciously at Dave's die. It appears to be legit.]

 

["You did not." Rose stands up, looks over, and her jaw drops for a moment. "Holy fuck. You did. Alright, Dave. I hope you're ready to become a parent after all."]

The puppy whines, and nudges its mother one more time. Then it sniffs the air, and takes a hesitant step forward. Then another. It shies away from the dragonborn and human woman, and instead approaches the half-elf who did nothing to harm its parent.

The cub snuffles Lei's fingers, and then hesitantly licks them. When Esra tries to approach, it leaps into his lap.

"Ah. Well. It seems you're taking care of this creature for now, unless you want to put it down. If not, I suggest you find a druid or a ranger."

["Alright, Dave. You now have a wolf puppy. You have disadvantage on any melee attacks while carrying it. The puppy will be able to survive on its own in..." She rolls a D100. "Forty-six days. You will need to make an animal handling check, with advantage, after each long rest for as long as you wish to take care of it. At any time, you can release it to the wild, and I will roll to see if it survives. The DC for that will lower with each ten days you are able to take care of the animal. If you know the spell Calm Emotions, or find someone to cast it for you, the DC for your animal handling checks will be decreased by 5. If you find someone who can cast Speak With Animals on you, you will not need to make an animal handling check for that day. For every check you succeed, your bond with the animal with strengthen."]

 

[Rose glowers at Dave's dice again. "As it weighs twenty two pounds, you are now considered encumbered. You have disadvantage on stealth checks while carrying the puppy, and your movement speed is reduced by 10."]

 

["Oh my god. I love her. I don't even care that you're making this insanely difficult. Snoop is totally going to survive to adulthood and be my friend forever."]

Lei hesitantly strokes the puppy's fur, it is very soft. He carefully, so as not to startle it, digs into his pack and comes up with a thin, threadbare blanket. He makes a sling for the baby, puts his pack back on, coaxes the puppy into the sling, and heaves himself to his feet. He looks at the others defiantly, daring them to make him put the puppy down. "Just for a little while, until it can survive on its own, or we find someone to take care of it."

 

["Snoop. The perfect name for a future whirlwind of claws and teeth, a majestic hunter." Despite the heavy sarcasm lacing her words, Rose doesn't actually look displeased by this situation. "So be it. Just bear in mind that this is not a domestic dog. Also, roll persuasion."]

 

["16 total. And I know it's not a dog Rose," Dave smirks. "It's much cooler than a dog." ]

Lei snuggles the wolf puppy close to his chest with one arm wrapped around it protectively.

 

Pyralspite shakes her head, touched by his concern for the cub but knowing from her experience of the wilds that this is unlikely to end well. "It would be safer to cull the cub, and possibly kinder to her in the long run."

[Terezi sighs. "But I rolled a 14 on a charisma save, so..."]

"It's your choice though, obviously. I hope you manage to be a good parent."

 

Esra purses her lips, then nods.

"As you will." She turns, and pulls a dagger from a sheath at her waist. Carefully, she carves a large circle into the bark of a nearby tree. "We should turn back then. 'Tis best not to head deeper into the unknown while burdened." She thinks for a moment. "It will likely work out better this way. I can ask Vesta to come with me in the morning. They are more at home in the woods then any I know."

 

Lei is absoutly stunned that he's allowed to keep the puppy, and that the puppy allowed itself to be kept. When Pyralspite mentions culling he holds it even more securely. "Don't hurt them... please. It's just a baby."

Walking through the woods is a bit difficult now, so he goes slowly. The wolf cub is very warm against his chest, and continues to be incredibly cute.

 

Pyralspite acknowledges that continuing when the cleric isn't really capable of seeing, and the bard is carrying a wild wolf cub, is not a good decision to make, and indicates such with a nod to Esra. "That seems wise to me. I'd like to accompany you too; I feel called to investigate this evil, and root out its cause."

She gives Lei a glance too, and shakes her head in exasperation. She just said it was his choice.

 

The four of you make steady progress back to the town, easily following the trail that a large armored Dragonborn carrying a large backpack can't help but make.

You return to the Temple of Casta, and find Altea and your tiefling companion chatting together on two cushions in front of the fire, drinking tea. Altea scrambles to her feet when the group enters, relief blooming on her face.

"Esra! Thank the Dawn Mistress, I was getting worried. We have tea and hot food, and - Is that a wolf?" Her babble halts as she notices the fluffy head pillow ed against Leo's chest. The cub, which had been sleeping, whines at the smell of roast pork.

"Aye, its mother attacked us and we had no choice but to defend ourselves. The elf lad seems to have a way with animals. Do you have a leg from that boar? The thing seems hungry." Esra says, "I will be right with you, just let me get out of my armor."

You notice now that she is again leaning on her maul for support, and her steps are slow and measured as she walks to her quarters.

"Of course. All of you, come, sit."

 

Pyralspite moves gladly over to the fire, taking the opportunity to sit and slide her pack off of her back. She sighs as she takes the weight of, content with sitting on the floor so long as it means she doesn't have to get up again for a bit. "It was definitely impressive, the way it took to you so quickly," she says to Lei, "Especially as you don't really seem the type to be wooing over animals."

 

The warmth of the temple is extremely welcome, as is the chance to set his backpack down. The puppy is getting kind of wiggly, so before taking a seat he approaches Altea with a smile. "Hello again. It's lovely to be back here, and whatever you've been making smells delicious. Something to eat for Snoop would be wonderful if you have it."

["For persuasion I rolled another 20, so 27 total. Rose what is this, I am clearly too powerful."]

"I'm amazing with animals Pyralspite, obviously. Snoop and I are going to be best friends."

 

Altea blushes under your regard, and stammers a little as she replies.

"Of course, I will fetch something right away for...Snoop? What a lovely name. I am Altea, by the way. I can't recall if I gave my name." This is clearly a lie. "After you've eaten, you all should rest. I'll write a note to daddy and he'll put you up at the Inn for the night. Free of charge."

 

"Thank you Altea, you are as thoughtful as you are generous. My name is Lei, at your service." He sits on a cushion a bit away from the others in case they make the puppy nervous, and lets it out of the sling so that it can settle in his lap.

"I hope our cleric friend is okay, she seemed a bit worn. You were injured as well Pyralspite, are you okay?"

 

"I believe I'll be fine. Your spell healed me well, and a night's rest in an inn will get rid of any tiredness from our travels here." Pyralspite offers Altea a toothy smile. The immediate threat of the blighted ground has passed, after all - whether banished by or hiding from Esra - and so now she can take some time to get to know the clerics of her own deity. And the bard and monk too. "That's very kind of you, Altea, and it's good to meet you, now we have a chance to sit down. I'm Honourable Pyralspite, or just Pyralspite."

 

Altea's chestnut skin flushes to the point where it looks painful, and her hands flap for a moment before she reaches down to her plate and grabs a mostly untouched and very thick slab of pork. She thrusts it toward Lei, inadvertently spattering his clothes with grease.
"For the cub!" She says, by way of explanation. "Lei. I'm Altea. Lei's a lovely name. And it's nice to meet you too, Pyralspite." She adds, over her shoulder. "Esra will be fine. I fuss, but she's a beast of a woman."

 

Being spattered with grease makes him flinch back a little bit, but the wolf puppy immediately starts licking itself and Lei's shirt clean and that's too adorable. He smiles down at the cub for a second, distracted by cuteness, before reaching out and taking the meat in his fingertips. "You are too kind, feeding us off your own plate. I am glad that Esra will recover well. You two seem close."

Lei urges Snoop off his lap so that he can set the messy pork on the hard floor and let them eat. He ends up with the puppy leaning heavily against his thigh, chowing down like they've never been fed before ever.

"Honourable is an interesting name! Do you find that being named for a virtue informed who you are as a person? You're a paladin, yes?"

 

"Where I grew up, we were all named for virtues. My mother was Justice, my father Valour, my cousin Courage, and so on. It was a small enough community that we didn't tend to overlap names often." Pyralspite clears her throat, leaning forward to delicately take a piece of pork with one clawed hand.

"And yes! I am a paladin, of Casta actually; the same deity this beautiful church is dedicated to," she says brightly, and then proceeds to eat as if it takes up a great amount of her concentration.

 

Nowhere Mann has been sitting in mute, captivated silence, his eyes huge and round and his hands tucked up under his chin as he watches the cute wuff pup. He is simply that charmed, so much that he can't do much more than make little squeaks that border on distressed. Every once and awhile he'll squirm wordlessly, as if the cuteness pained him. He looks very much like he wants to pet the new baby, but he is not so impulsive that he forgets that getting between a wolf cub and his meal is probably a bad idea.

The change of subject draws him out of his cuteness stupor, however, and he grins like he just heard something very funny. "Aww, no shit? Miracles, sister, they're fallin' all over each other today, rainin' down on our heads." He pauses to drain the rest of his tea. Altea let him nibble various snacks while they worked, and this combined with a good dinner and a warm fire seems to have perked him up considerably. He scratches a flaky spot on one of his horns and snickers. "I got one'a them names too, a Virtue name. Tiefling virtues are all kindsa twisted up sometimes, though, I got mine 'cause Dad was all finding me one day under this tree when I was being just a lil' fart? And when people'd up and ask him where he got me he'd just say 'Nowhere, man.' and it kinda stuck, heheheheh.

"And I figure, it motherfuckin' suits. I got nowhere to be, nowhere to stay, nowhere I'm being all loyal at or nothin'."