Garage bulletin board

I feel like I should move this thread somewhere. I feel like I only come here to complain about things too spicy even for DW, where I have been getting progressively spicier as I give less of a shit about pissing people off.

 

Bus drivers are literally superhuman. The one I'm on just had to deal with three heavy trucks incapable of slowing on the snowy roads that are just barely wider than the two cars.

 

Looking at some of the discourse on my dash right now and wondering when it became a thing that regardless of how much of a troll who goes out of their way to not have compassion for other people someone is, we should still always find it in ourselves to have compassion for them when they "drop the act" and "get serious", regardless of if they've in the past reacted to requests to such with dismissal and evasion.

 

Like. No, I don't think people need to buy their Presence in a community with good behaviour or whatever. But if someone has made fun of me to my face, I don't get why I'm still expected to perform good grace and come to their aid as an ally instead of being allowed the distance to be like "Yeah that sucks for them. I don't like them, but I wish that didn't happen"

 

Like if your brand is irreverence towards other people's feelings, if you cannot display even an awareness of other people's feelings lest it break character, why is the burden of belief that you are genuinely just the nicest person on me? You have not acted nicely. Your sense of humour is cruel, and to be frank you do not check your targets clearly enough for there to be no splash damage to your fellows and peers. You do not act with compassion, why should I assume you totally have some when you're in a better place mentally or whatever if I've never seen it from you unless it was extremely conditional?

 

Maybe other people are more empathetic than I am but I am not in the business of showing compassion to people who seem to lack any.

 

Time and time again people who make their brand being glib and above it all get mad when they suddenly can't keep up the facade, and even when it happens for understandable reasons I am at a loss as to why it's bad for me to just go "okay". Someone who is nice only to their friends is not a nice person. Someone who cannot stop themselves from trash talking strangers, when those strangers aren't talking to them, when the strangers aren't talking *about* them, is blatantly performing for an audience when they try to then glibly comment on the situation. Truly, like, people don't seem to realise that "if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all" is also about protecting your own reputation as someone who can be trusted to not speak out of their ass.

 

And when I point it out that people still aren't obligated to *like* someone who is being an imperfect victim, I get told off like some dipshit who has done nothing but upset me deserves me to go give them asspats. That I'm supposed to jump to the defense of someone who will immediately step on my face when they're in a better place again.

 

I'm gonna keep reserving my limited compassion to people who were nice to me first. Or at least people who weren't shitty to me *unprovoked*, because god knows I have the ability to piss people off doing absolutely nothing. Like half the people I know have beef with me I had literally nothing but positive things to say about before they made me annoying them my problem.

 

People don't like when you say mean shit to them! If you are too upset to communicate with someone without saying mean shit to them, that's a you problem! Fucking sit down and understand that no matter how sincere your pain, two wrongs do not make a right, and it's bully logic to think that they do!

I *can* sympathise with being in just too fucking much pain to communicate right but that is, I repeat, a *me* problem. And if your whole case for being treated unfairly is that people didn't render justice onto you when you swore at them, I cannot emphasise enough that it makes you look immature at best, an opportunist who lacks compassion at worst.

 

And if you're always downplaying *your* behaviour and elevating the lack of compassion shown to you in the context of said behaviour, then I do not trust you.

 

That being said, I also don't think social spaces *should* have essentially two sets of rules based on who's nice and composed and who is frustrated and curt. The same rules should apply to everyone.

But thinking you're going to be treated with grace and compassion when you categorically consider it your right to not have any for other people because you're too traumatised and stressed out is fucking abuser logic.

 

Like maybe it's just the aforementioned "gift for severely offending and pissing off people I respect" but I look at a lot of people and wonder if they've ever wondered what they should do about hurting a stranger's feelings.

Because a lot of them treat "what should I do about a stranger lashing out at me" and "what should I do about a stranger being hurt by my actions" and treat them as the same problem.

 

Like, no, you're not responsible for other people's feelings, but that doesn't mean you're incapable of causing real hurt without meaning to. Ask me how I know. Ask me if "well I didn't mean it like that so it's not my problem" has ever worked.

 

As someone who's been through anger management therapy multiple times, a lot of the eagerness people have for validating marginalised rage at injustice sits very ill with me. You're feeding vulnerable people poison hoping their oppressors drop dead.

 

Extremely tempted to post "actually it's fine if Remedy made Saga a black woman for funsies" on main.

I was there for Gamergate, I'm not gonna debate the merits of simply *having* a character of colour in your story. It's literally a non-choice.

 

Creatives and writers don't have to narratively justify having characters of colour in their stories if they don't want to.

 

The comfort character banana gore post really proves that a lot of people still look forward to having someone to mock for being too sensitive regardless of how much they insist that kindness is always good.

 

How am I, a literal psychopath, better at understanding the extreme feelings of other people than so-called "normal, empathetic" people?

 

Realising that I *do* kind of feel strongly about not writing characters speaking a language you don't speak if you a) don't intend to make their language sound broken in-universe and b) don't intend to reach out to a native speaker to correct your grammar at the very least.