Discussion in 'Your Bijou Blogette' started by HonestlyVan, Feb 16, 2020.
*refreshes Tumblr* why am I the only one giving me notes? T_T)
AMAB enbies.... effervescent....
Seriously nothing has made me as comfortable in my gender as cis men and AMAB enbies talking about their strong feelings of Gender(tm), because I could never shake the feeling that I was just some kind of an over-invested "male ally" because my gender has fuckall to do with either innate or perceived womanhood (on top of, like, having been in a radfem cult in my twenties). Curio choosing the name they did is very much what I intend to do with myself too -- I also want multiple names, many names, many aspects of myself, that collapse back into "Van" when I get tired of discussing them.
Spoiler: Robot porn opinions
I feel sufficiently scuzzy over basically all my interest in Sexy Megatron starting and ending with his various sexy alt forms. If there was more regular art of people doing unspeakable things to his gun form, I would have far more sexy Megatron content in my bookmarks
And also G1 Megs' thighs, because he's got the least big top aura out of all of them.
Everyone at the bus station: *gives wide berth to the guy animatedly FaceTiming someone in Arabic*
Me: *plunks down right next to him b/c my bag is heavy and out of the two words of Arabic I know, he's said the one that means "bless this" like five times so I'm pretty sure he's talking about the family pets*
People talking shit in a loud voice is unremarkable to me after studying abroad.
In fact Finnish people talk just as much shit just as loudly, most of the time they just don't realise they're doing it b/c they're doing it in groups. Being the odd one out who didn't know it was rude to "listen in" to people having perfectly clear conversations next to me really reveals the double standard.
I need to go shopping but what I actually wanna do is cycle to [job site] and back to get a feel for the route and how long it takes me.
Oh god, everything in my body cracks. I need that massage yesterday.
unfortunately a huge mood, i hope you get relief soon!!
Lucky for me I have money specifically given to me to Get That Damn Massage but the problem is.... I start a new job next week, and my schedule is pretty undecided at the moment (which I plan to bring up -- I mean, if you know you need me for two whole weeks you might wanna give me some idea how many hours a day that is, y'know?) so I can't exactly go get one right now.... although I really, extremely, desperately want one.
In the meanwhile I'm making my spine do awful noises over the back of my computer chair, which is also Fine, I Guess.
In other news, I'm not even writing, I'm just feeding my friends Autobot High Command Acting Like Irreverent Idiots ideas b/c they have an AU that is rife for that shit and they drew me Exactly One (1) Optimus and I fucking fell in love with the way they draw him OTL
Also what is up with Firefox wanting to save every gif in .webp
Stop that >:(
Sometimes you dislike a character so hard you end up thinking about just, like... letting him get as fucking drunk as he needs to to get aaaaallll that tension out of himself so he may actually get some damn rest for once.
Which is a long way of saying I've finally accepted that I do, actually, kinda like Prowl.
But I will never get Prowlfuckers!!!
I just don't see the appeal!! Like if you don't even go fishing that much, Jazz has nicer titties and a better personality!!
Maybe this is one of those things where the character just puts out a specific kind of Top Vibe people are attracted to because that's what happened with Megatron, but that's the only theory I have.
I like Prowl pretty much solely because the way fandom writes his standoffishness and interpersonal assholery pings me as Oh A Fellow Autistic, and then I ended up down the rabbit hole of fics where he's deliberately written as autistic, which I imagine is what those authors are getting out of canon
Prowl just hits a little too close to home in his worst moments and I find it uncomfortable reading characters like that get "happy endings", so I tend to give Prowl-centric stuff a wide berth. I will probably keep flipping around the "worst character/actually he's okay actually" axis for a while yet, but... ngh.... I broadly acknowledge that I understand the appeal, and I want good things to happen to him as long as I don't get to read them if they're not written by me.
It's a complicated relationship.
Up to the end of Episode 5 of Umineko and I really gotta say I'm glad the shonen is coming through again. I've definitely missed it. Dlanor might be my overall favourite character because of the way she plays into the themes of betrayal and forgiveness (but not atonement), if we take what is said about her character and her relationship to her dad at face value.
Also I just really love a good blood knight. Battler has always had an unfair advantage, being the reader stand-in, in that if he has the space of mind he can just crank his magic resistance up to Endless 9 and become effectively immune to magical damage. Dlanor, apparently, can do the same -- the depiction of her as a mechanical being with a heart who also has immunity to magic by virtue of being an editor stand-in makes it more of a fair fight, because I doubt Battler lost Endless 9 privileges when he became the author stand-in.
Also good fucking lord this story turns into exactly my shit in Chiru and I am kicking myself for never forcing myself to get further in it.
I'm going to have to do a reading of Umineko entirely focused on it being a metaphor for the creative process and how fucking much it sucks to have an audience, don't I?
OH MY GOD
Spoiler: Dawn of the Golden Witch spoilers
Spoiler: Further Dawn spoilers
I SERIOUSLY DIDN'T EXPECT MY FAVOURITE HIGURASHI CHARACTER TO SHOW UP and now I'm. Terrified. Because if this is the Hanyuu that was left when she became embodied during Matsuribayashi-hen, like how Bernkastel is all the leftover rage and depression that was left when Rika finally escaped the loop...
For a moment I was just happy to have Hanyuu back.... q__q)
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