getting diagnosed with adhd is more laborious than i expected?? (just kind of whinging)

Discussion in 'Braaaaiiiinnnns...' started by Socket, Jul 26, 2016.

  1. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    okay so i'm like 95% sure i have adhd. kind of went 'click' around the start of this year when i saw a post that made me realise that....yeah, wait, stuff i thought was just Weird Me Things might in fact be inattentive ADHD things.

    like, i
    • spontaneously tune out during conversation even when i'm interested or trying really hard to absorb what people are saying (i swear it gets worse if it's important and i know it's important that i remember or comprehend it),
    • have The Worst memory for anything i've been asked to do to the point where often my only recourse is to do that thing immediately before i have time to forget (and if you ask me to fetch object A and object B from the same room - say, a cup of tea and bag of crisps - 90% of the time i'll only bring the first thing because paying attention to thing A made me immediately forget thing B)
    • get VERY hard to follow when talking about something that excites me/makes me anxious because i try to say all my thoughts at once without realising how incomprehensible my nonlinear jumble of statements is,
    • rarely complete any form of project because i'll either multitask it to death and never finish any of the tasks anyway OR lose interest the moment i realise it's going to take sustained attention and multiple stages
    • struggle to remember the required parts of any new process with multiple steps and often need to write it all down in order to carry the process out succesfully
    • interrupt people and finish their sentences ALL THE TIME which is the Worst because i don't even mean to do it???

      (among other things)
    all the research i've done suggests i'm probably on the right track. everyone who knows me agrees and we've joked for YEARS about a lot of the stuff i do being Weird and how i have problems focussing and remembering crap

    combo that with my almost definite dyscalculia (3, 5 and 8 may as well be the same numbers to me in most situations, i frequently mix up the positions of numbers if reading them aloud unless paying close attention and i still kinda suck at the 24h clock) and mild probable dyspraxia and i thought it'd be useful to get the Official Stamp of Approval

    except damn, why is it so awkward to get it? so far i have had
    • one initial appointment where i explained why i think i have it and why i want it Officially Diagnosed (it makes doing my job harder than it would be for someone without focus and number issues and i want an explanation so people there don't think i'm just scatty and weird)
    • a second appointment where i had to wait like an hour....to be given a self-assessment questionnaire that took 2 seconds and amounted to re-stating everything i said in the FIRST appointment with the same doctor
    • a wait of multiple weeks while she writes a referral letter
    • (also our local services that encompass adult adhd are having a Shenanigan to do with contract renewal so i might not even be referred until september? by which time the people doing the deli job at work will have retired and i might have to replace them and ????? screams?)
    and then when she finally sends the letter to me to check, i guess i will be waiting some more on top of that, especially if she leaves something important out and i can't just go 'yea that's fine send it off'? and then i might not even get accepted by the specialist and we'd have to write a new and better letter.

    am i correct in feeling like it's ridiculous that to even GET approved to be referred for a diagnosis i have to prove it's ~adequately affecting important areas of my life~ and by that i mean my job? because if i didn't have a job, i doubt i'd be considered important enough to get seen.

    literally all i want is to be able to go 'adhd is why i do these things, please let me write down all the things i need to do when i'm on the deli so i don't forget and so i don't make you repeat yourself x500' and hopefully get some assistance in working against my brain's weirdnesses.

    so i'm waiting for my letter because surely it's due any time now and i don't want to have to chase her up because she forgot.........

    why is the process so weird when surely this should be simple oh my god i just want to know i'm not ~just scatty~ and have proof it's not just me Not Trying Hard Enough?? so in the mean time i guess i'm just going 'this sounds legit, right?'
     
  2. Mercury

    Mercury 17 Quicksilver Scribe Tramples The Unrepentant

    The usual medications for treating ADHD are amphetamines, and since the culture around any drugs that could possibly be 'fun' is SCREAMING PURITANISM, they make it as hard as possible to even get a diagnosis just to make sure you aren't ~drug seeking~. Even if you don't plan to take medication.

    Meanwhile, the people who do take it for fun don't seem to have a whole lot of trouble acquiring it. e_e

    idk how universal this is, but the most trouble I had in getting a diagnosis was getting the goddamned referral to a specialist in the first place. Once I had that, things went pretty reasonably, even though it for some reason took a number of appointments to assess me.
     
    • Like x 2
  3. Izevel

    Izevel capuchin hacker fucker

    Yeah, that is ridiculous, beause if you didn't have a job the it would almost certainly be because of the unrecognised/unsupported ADD, don't you think?
     
    • Like x 1
  4. Izevel

    Izevel capuchin hacker fucker

    ugh ugh ugh as a hypersomniac this is so fucking frustrating, recreational users seem to be able to pick up modafinil like that *snaps fingers* but when i asked to be switched to modafinil from amphetamines - as in "please take me off of amphetamines and put me on the safer, more effective drug"! - and was accused of drug-seeking
    sorry Socket don't wanna derail <3
     
    • Like x 2
  5. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    your experience with this is nothing like how mine was...it sounds long, involved, and mildly ridiculous.
     
    • Like x 1
  6. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    Welp, that probably explains it then. Which is extra frustrating because I'm not really interested in medication (unless they think it would drastically improve my focus/information retention in which case I'd not be against giving it a try), mainly I want to be able to go 'this is why I do the thing and why I want to make these minor but weird-seeming adjustments' and I stressed that at both of my appointments. :/

    I do think! My ability to even apply for the job I currently had was only because I had my girlfriend around to give me a LOT of assistance in the part that involved writing, which between the focus issues and the fact school taught me to crumble and internally bluescreen under pressure to Write Stuff is a major hinderance in getting and doing jobstuff. (Those two things are probably interrelated, does anyone know anything about the experience of having your brain just go 'ptthbt *long number-not-found dial tone*' when attempting to Write Important Stuff?) I'd be hecked on my own.

    Although I guess they would have cared if I went 'it means i can't GET a job'. As long as it's job related. Never mind that I'd like to be able to focus on the things I enjoy and be better at socialising like a human and expressing myself in a coherent fashion instead of making my excitement (and nervousness!) inherently kind of inaccessible to be involved in sometimes because I'm going on a new tangent every 5 words and being hard to interpret haha.

    Long, involved and mildly ridiculous is a good summary, haha. I'm curious as to your experience just as a contrast against the weirdness of the system I'm having to wade uphill through?
     
    • Like x 2
  7. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    "hello, psychiatrist! I believe I may have ADHD. it took me forever to get my parents to let me come in here, but here are my symptoms!"
    "ah, yes, this appears to be ADHD. I will give you a referral to a specialist to be sure."
    wait a few weeks (like, two weeks)
    "hello, specialist! I believe I may have ADHD. here are my symptoms!"
    "ah, yes, you have ADHD! here is your official paper diagnosis. now return to the psychiatrist for medication if you so choose."
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2016
    • Like x 4
  8. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    @chaoticArbiter I'm stunned by the simplicity?? that there is what I was kind of expecting instead of the Department of Redundancy Department treatment of completely superfluous questionnaires and weird back-and-forth. I'm glad it was that streamlined for you though!
     
    • Like x 2
  9. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    yeah, it was...really easy once I got through my parents. and is honestly what I would expect to happen, not...what you're dealing with! I'm glad it was streamlined for me too, though, I really needed that diagnosis to get an IEP in school so I could actually, like, start passing my freakin' classes.
     
    • Like x 2
  10. Mercury

    Mercury 17 Quicksilver Scribe Tramples The Unrepentant

    There might be a location difference going on wrt how convoluted a process it is to get a diagnosis. And/or luck with referring doctors - it took me a while to get it through to my first psychiatrist that yes I did really need a referral, my ADHD didn't magically become manageable or go away once I turned 20.
     
    • Like x 2
  11. esotericPrognosticator

    esotericPrognosticator still really excited about kobolds tbqh

    I'm on dexmethylphenidate for my ADHD (which is not technically speaking an amphetamine but has similar recreational effects) and Jesus fuck you would think it's crack or something the way they treat it. first of all, it's really expensive. and every refill has to be reapproved by my doctor. and my school makes me give it to the infirmary to keep, and they give me one day at a time. which, by the way, is a terrible idea, because guess what? ADHD makes it really hard for me to remember to go get it. great planning, guys. and it's not like I seem like I'm likely to be a drug dealer or a meth cooker??? I have no idea how even if I wanted to, anyway.
     
    • Like x 2
  12. Ryncoon

    Ryncoon Well-Known Member

    My process was, after getting to my proper psychiatrist in the first place, basically 'it looks like you have ADHD. Get on assistance so they'll be covered and we'll try you on meds'. And I did, and he did.Granted I have a 16 year documented record of mental health to reference, so that may have helped facilitate things.
     
  13. Lib

    Lib Well-Known Member

    ...sudden realisation - I think @Socket has mentioned being in the UK? Which would explain the endless procedures in getting diagnosed with anything. (And many many sympathies.)
     
    • Like x 2
  14. esotericPrognosticator

    esotericPrognosticator still really excited about kobolds tbqh

    yup, they do live in the UK! ah, the NHS. what fine, efficient fellows.
     
    • Like x 3
  15. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    Such an organised healthcare service we brits have. c:

    (I'm...I'm not sure whether it's time to chase up about the letter or not. I can't remember if she said 2 weeks or 3 weeks but nothing's come my way yet and it's like 2 and a half weeks now??)
     
    • Like x 2
    • Agree x 1
  16. Izevel

    Izevel capuchin hacker fucker

    It's worth doing it anyway. Just say you're being extra responsible by keeping track of the process. :P
     
  17. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    haha okay so it's a solid month since my appointment and i FINALLY remembered to call and chase up, on account of the letter being nowhere to be seen

    apparently it was sent off on the 25th. it is the 11th.

    i'm legitimately more inclined to believe that it had not yet been posted than that it got lost in the post.
     
    • Like x 1
  18. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    ahaha okay so the practice called me up to relay a message from my doctor. mixed feelings.

    the situation: instead of sending the referral letter to me to check over before sending it (like she said she would, and like she literally told me to chase her up about), she's sent it straight off to the adult ADHD place. and i should 'give it another month'.

    i'm just gonna trust the letter would have been fine anyway, but i'm peeved because why tell me you're gonna do one thing, then change plans without telling me, then respond in such a way that doesn't even acknowledge there was a prior plan? i was supposed to be given a chance to make sure the letter was representative of my experience but nevermind! i'm sure it's fine. it's just annoying.
     
    • Like x 1
  19. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    So!

    Approximately 2 months, 2 appointments, one change of stated plans and approximately 3 weeks of that time spent just waiting.... My referral has been rejected!

    Because ?????????

    My doctor's theory as to why? Because I have a job, and I'm 'functioning well enough', and it's like........okay, but that means I'm not actually allowed a diagnosis? I just...don't get one? Even though everyone's in agreement that 'yea, sounds like ADHD'?

    She's going to a meeting with the services involved in a week and says she intends to bring it up to determine what qualifies as an approvable referral request, and says she'll get back to me, but in the mean time I should essentially assume it's a thing and respond accordingly.

    (I didn't really like her basically telling me that I wanted the diagnosis to have the label - like, no, I want the diagnosis so I can ask my work if I can make a few accommodations to make my increasingly complicated job easier to navigate so I don't screw things up by not having everything I need to do straight in my head. It's so much more for easing my explanations to others than it is for my own good. I've already settled down into the idea that that's what my brainweird is.)

    The NHS is just straight up bizarre. The fact that I can't get diagnosed, at all, officially, without evidence that I'm adequately disadvantaged by my ADHD, is bizarre. Like, they're not saying they don't think I have it. Just that they....won't diagnose me. Because it's not important that they do.

    What.
     
  20. Socket

    Socket fuzzy tabletop goblin

    Uuuupdate!

    So! A month or so, maybe more, ago I got a letter. Turns out I wasn't rejected, I was on a waiting list! (Don't have a clue what kind of miscommunication happened there, or why it took the best part of 9 months for me to get told this, but eh) So I've been waiting. This process involves a lot of waiting, it transpires.

    The wait is over! I got a call today that the clinic had a cancellation and I can get assessed tomorrow morning. Ayyyyyy.

    Like, I still can't believe this process has taken nearly A Literal Year, but at least it's happening. Fingers crossed this time tomorrow it'll be Official and I can put away the niggling worry of 'what if people think I'm just making excuses when I ask for little adjustments'!
     
    • Like x 3
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