okay so i'm like 95% sure i have adhd. kind of went 'click' around the start of this year when i saw a post that made me realise that....yeah, wait, stuff i thought was just Weird Me Things might in fact be inattentive ADHD things. Spoiler: probably inattentive ADHD things like, i spontaneously tune out during conversation even when i'm interested or trying really hard to absorb what people are saying (i swear it gets worse if it's important and i know it's important that i remember or comprehend it), have The Worst memory for anything i've been asked to do to the point where often my only recourse is to do that thing immediately before i have time to forget (and if you ask me to fetch object A and object B from the same room - say, a cup of tea and bag of crisps - 90% of the time i'll only bring the first thing because paying attention to thing A made me immediately forget thing B) get VERY hard to follow when talking about something that excites me/makes me anxious because i try to say all my thoughts at once without realising how incomprehensible my nonlinear jumble of statements is, rarely complete any form of project because i'll either multitask it to death and never finish any of the tasks anyway OR lose interest the moment i realise it's going to take sustained attention and multiple stages struggle to remember the required parts of any new process with multiple steps and often need to write it all down in order to carry the process out succesfully interrupt people and finish their sentences ALL THE TIME which is the Worst because i don't even mean to do it??? (among other things) all the research i've done suggests i'm probably on the right track. everyone who knows me agrees and we've joked for YEARS about a lot of the stuff i do being Weird and how i have problems focussing and remembering crap combo that with my almost definite dyscalculia (3, 5 and 8 may as well be the same numbers to me in most situations, i frequently mix up the positions of numbers if reading them aloud unless paying close attention and i still kinda suck at the 24h clock) and mild probable dyspraxia and i thought it'd be useful to get the Official Stamp of Approval except damn, why is it so awkward to get it? so far i have had one initial appointment where i explained why i think i have it and why i want it Officially Diagnosed (it makes doing my job harder than it would be for someone without focus and number issues and i want an explanation so people there don't think i'm just scatty and weird) a second appointment where i had to wait like an hour....to be given a self-assessment questionnaire that took 2 seconds and amounted to re-stating everything i said in the FIRST appointment with the same doctor a wait of multiple weeks while she writes a referral letter (also our local services that encompass adult adhd are having a Shenanigan to do with contract renewal so i might not even be referred until september? by which time the people doing the deli job at work will have retired and i might have to replace them and ????? screams?) and then when she finally sends the letter to me to check, i guess i will be waiting some more on top of that, especially if she leaves something important out and i can't just go 'yea that's fine send it off'? and then i might not even get accepted by the specialist and we'd have to write a new and better letter. am i correct in feeling like it's ridiculous that to even GET approved to be referred for a diagnosis i have to prove it's ~adequately affecting important areas of my life~ and by that i mean my job? because if i didn't have a job, i doubt i'd be considered important enough to get seen. literally all i want is to be able to go 'adhd is why i do these things, please let me write down all the things i need to do when i'm on the deli so i don't forget and so i don't make you repeat yourself x500' and hopefully get some assistance in working against my brain's weirdnesses. so i'm waiting for my letter because surely it's due any time now and i don't want to have to chase her up because she forgot......... why is the process so weird when surely this should be simple oh my god i just want to know i'm not ~just scatty~ and have proof it's not just me Not Trying Hard Enough?? so in the mean time i guess i'm just going 'this sounds legit, right?'