Grand Old Academy: A Satirical Dating Sim (demo liveblog)

is that marco rubio?

(i could check the first page but i'm not lol)

 

1) it is marco rubio
2) of course "little marco" is shorter what was i thinking
3)

 

Things I want out of this game:

• A dramatic choice where you can convince Jeb to either keep the nickname or start going by John
• A subplot where you reveal Donald's secret relationship with the valedictorian of a Russian academy
• America-chan to somewhat nonsensically celebrate an Extremely Christian Christmas. Christmastime is a literal war between the Grand Old Academy and other schools.
• Secret McCain route. It's the obligatory dating sim teacher route.
• Secret Ron Paul route. It's the obligatory dating sim creepy guy hanging around a high school for zero fucking reason route.

 

The housing capacity of the dorms seems to be (number of state representatives to the house)*20, which is proportional to population
WY has 1 representative, so its dorm houses 20, CA has 53 so its dorm houses 1060

I don't know why they're going for number of representatives rather than full number of electoral votes (number of state representatives + number of state senators which is always 2), which seems more relevant, but it's hard to nicely square wyoming's 3 electoral votes with it having 2o students

 

...I guess we really want to date the zodiac killer.

 

OH MY GOD STOP I'M PULLING A SLIGHTLY MORE AMUSED VERSION OF THIS FACE

Megyn calls Marco out on that being a dirty trick. Jeb intercedes.


A SEAL IS BREAKING BENEATH THE VATICAN RN

 

Maybe the senators represent each dorms' RAs or supervisors or something

 

poor jeb! i admit he is not as handsome as Tiny Boy Rubio Man, but this is just unfair

 

I love the 'absurdly old-looking and competent high schoolers' trope because it's so funny to me and needless to say my whole brain is delighted by this stupid bullshit right now. thEY'RE LIKE 70 YEARS OLD WHY ARE THEY

 

G.....ga.....gay?

Guys help I'm shipping Jeb/Marco rn. I'm very tired and in pain and I've basically become Stu Pickles making pudding at this point x3

OH MY GOD

JEEZE Meg, way to be a downer. Clearly they are bffls for life.


SEE? True bros.

 

*pounding fists on table*

IRONIC REPRISE IRONIC REPRISE

 

A: I Love You
B: Never Stop

 

I've been looking through the official tumblr.

 

#FriendshipGoals

HIS TEETH ARE SPARKLING OH GOD WHY

I know right, I'm blind now.
We are rendered mute by his spotlight smile, but thankfully our pal Meg introduces us.

Don't say that out loud it will attract The Donald
Jeb and Marco offer to show us around, but Meg has it covered. They resume fencing as we leave.


That's kinda sweet?
We stop dead, and ask for confirmation that those two are the RA's of our dorm. I'm confused and don't know what that means, but apparently it's SCANDALOUS BECAUSE

 

RA = resident assistant, basically a peer leader who supervises and tries to make sure everything runs smoothly!

 

Well, there are still people in the US today that are scandalized by the existence of co-ed dorms. Historically they were separate (once women started actually showing up in them) and still today floors of dorms are often separated by gender and some schools have separate dorms for men and women. Mine was co-ed and very many are today but that's the context. I dunno if universities in other countries tended toward co-ed living earlier?...

EDIT: which is why I assumed she was shocked by having young men as her RAs in her dorm, because should they be here? And maybe there's a Japanese context to this idk.

EDIT AGAIN: wait, they're high schoolers. Yeah, in the US, if you go to a high school with a dorm (rare), they're gender-separated. 18 is our age of consent, which means high school dorms house both "children" and "adults," legally, and you want as little hanky-panky causing trouble as possible. Source: attended high school with a dorm, the floors were all populated by one gender each and there was one special day a month where you could even walk into the other gender floors for visits.

 

All of the dorms are co-ed, but divided by floors. Boys on even numbers, girls on odd.

I'm so glad the polls are leaning toward Cruz rn. This is reminding me of the Fat Murder Birb route in Hatoful Boyfriend.


Aroused.

Oh hey, our dorm is actually the uncaring black void after all. Hello darkness, my old friend.


Heee, there's that elephant plush. It's enforced how surprisingly austere everything is.
But.
Wait.
What.
What is.

E N H A N C E

Oh my fucking god.

 

Oh also this setting in the menu needs to be presented as its own post.

 

EAGLE BREEDING

 

So I started looking through it too and it actually has a surprisingly good answer for why we can't romance Megyn