Halloween is evil

can't they give us cute cat photos and joke about halloween in peace

leave butch cassidy alone

HE HAS SHOWN ME THE LIGHT OF JESUS

 

well that was fast

be honest, was it the wafers?

 

Ah, but that's the thing! You're tricked into worshipping Satan by wondering around collecting candy! Because the candy is a cover up of the pagan practices you don't even realize your practicing.

wow. I'm so sorry for expressing my opinions I thought this was a cool place to hang out and make friends.

Thank our Lord someone has seen the light in this god-forsaken place.

 

Damn, Satan sure sounds smart.

 

this is a weird definition of 'worshipping' that honestly makes no sense to me. I'm beginning to think the connection between candy and Satan is all in your head.

bonus points: what pagan practice is the candy covering up

double overtime bonus points: does spiritual devotion come from the form or the function of the devotional act

 

I hope satan comes to me in the night. I wish to romance him. Can I do this by participating in halloween traditions or do I have to do something else

 

I'm pretty sure he follows you home if you leave a restaurant without tipping

 

You can unlock the Satan route by having 666 charisma by Halloween.

 

devilishly good-looking

 

shit. fuck. okay. better grind my charisma before halloween then

 

Ah, easy mistake. First we can agree that the one true god is our God, the Lord and savior.

Any act that takes glory away from the true God is contributing to Satan. Satan's goal is to steal God's glory and take it for himself. Any act that takes glory from God, whether it's Halloween or Captain Planet, gives glory to Satan by its very existence.

 

Why can't God just get in on the action, and replace the wafers with chocolates? Or is that Christmas, in this case?

Wait, what is your stance on Christmas? OR EASTER?

 

you can agree to whatever you like, it's no skin off my nose. we're all friends here.

that sounds like at least two overcomplicated and exhausting jobs. just how sustainable is this belief economy, anyways

 

Catholicism=Satanism.

Very sustainable.

 

So, no wafers even? And nothing on if Christmas or Easter is allowed? That seems unfair.

 

maybe

i mean the catholics even have cool ass little disk houses for them

 

I just keep winding up in more Satan no matter what I do!

 

as far as trolling attempts go, 2/10, you broke character in the 4th post or so, that was real sloppy.

on the plus side, it means ive been a practicing pagan with my mother's endorsement from tiny on when she put me in a devil costume for halloween, and my quite religious grandmother has actually been a satanist all along! who knew. not me, for that matter.

what if you offer candy on church altars?

 

Guys, hear me out here.

Candied church altars. Just a giant chocolate table, maybe with some of the accouterments of the church made up in sugar or gummies or whatever.

Everyone who abstains from Halloween gets to rip off two chunk of the tabernacle and bring it home. You can even offer a nearby pretzel table for anyone who can't have too much sugar, or one and one for the ultimate flavor-paradise!

 

I know what I'm doing when I'll create my religion.