he needs some milk

well that therapist gave up on me fast

 

i haven’t gotten up yet

 

she’s a lesbian but they’re like... that’s not real

 

i’m trying to raise my vibration by listening to youtube videos

 

my room is like... messy but there’s not enough furniture so i just keep throwing stuff out so i don’t have to look at it

i am depressed because
1. i saw ruben
2. they asked me to quit dsa because it’s a betrayal of the revolution.
3. my cat died.
4. i started a new med and it sucks.
5. ??? it could be anything
oh yeah, coronavirus
coronavirus actually seems minimal compared to what i’ve been through

 

i need to

1. shower
2. get caffeine in the form of hot coffee because that’s my drug of choice
3. get some exercise

if i do that everything will be fine

 

wow this is so boring i’m sorry my blog sucks :(
raise your vibrations...

 

oh the other reason i’m depressed. this is a huge reason. i gained weight

 

im not supposed to talk about depression on here though

 

i’m in the shower room. are you ready for bare minimum theater?

 

Oh soap, I love you. You make my ass smell like it doesn’t know what poop is!

 

why can’t i just joyfully write and draw whatever the fuck i want

 

i want to listen to happy music

 

looking around for my people but i cannot find shit

 

did all the things

except exercise

i decided to bleach dye one black hoodie since it was fading anyway

 

i ... i got the milk

i had a really good time with another trans guy and i want more... is this a roundabout way of being lesbian

 

i noticed even worse that i act totally different towards different people... also... i just have random people in my life, not the people i want

there’s no... identity... no direction whatsoever... i’m just adapting

 

i would be a terrible partner all i want to do is just fuck and cuddle and i don’t work... and i don’t work out

 

as i take this concerta more and more i seem to be able to build more of a chronological narrative of my past? even though it’s triggering i seem to remember more and more details and everything is one step after the other . maybe it is helping? i need to talk to my psychiatrist

i haven’t really done anything yet today other than lay here experiencing emotions

 

bro it sucks because my issues are like the money maker so i cant really talk about them in public. unless im ratting on somebody for ruining my entire life