i definitely don't have this target lifestyle of "feed the kids, go to the store after work" it's more like "pick up your mental health meds, get your tranny surgery all by yourself" "work on your ongoing autobiographical comic about your tranny life"
it's my responsiblity to like, exist. talk. share my story. that's the only way that a community can exist. we need to remember we can talk.
my own writing makes me really depressed. the raw pain is good material but ultimately that's my real life and it happened to me and i'm also still trying to heal in this current reality in this continuous personality. fucked up but true
ugh im stressed out by coronavirus conspiracy theories and the amount of people who have abandoned me for basically non-life and death reasons i don't think my generation has the capability to achieve collectivism and the fact that people have neo-fascism in their hearts by the way that i've directly experienced death being wished upon me for political reasons its wildly out of my natural mindset as a human being to listen to orders from on high, stop discussion and finding the truth and wish death on the human being in front of me. that disturbs me in the deepest way
i accept you with no strings attached... i smile because youre happy being yourself... but i can't be around you, i can't trust you and i can't share myself with you. that's the source of my pain
i wish that people would take this journey with me and accept that there are some people who are built different.. and just accept them. not try to be them, kill them or shame them out of speaking. it would make all of my favorite people better people
people are so used to being allowed to violently react, they have no practice actually stemming that violent reaction to me and it puts me in danger. its not cool.
starting to realize that when i’m “bored” i might need “human interaction” it’s valid to want to be recognized ... said he in the middle of quarantine
im choosing to believe that disussion of fascism and eugenics isn't appropriate for the blog forum rather than that the mods are silencing me because they're in on it
i just got really stressed last night so i sung a little song for myself... when you're scared you should always sing. that's how the shamans control the ayahuasca trip i think. so if you're scared sing, and if you see a ghost laugh at it... that's why witches cackle something about me is i'm really superstitious, i like being superstitious because it's fun and connects me to The culture... the human culture. of being organic and creative and original. or something lmao.
im in a better mood today. i should summarize more this past month because i'm losing track of events... may 2020 after the stimulus i decided i'll start my own business, start by working and saving up. little by little i started working for postmates, got my bike stolen and basically wasted money on a business license. started organizing for postmates got rid of a really bad therapist that constantly ignored my hypersexuality and my eating disorder yuki connected to me on linkedin, i don't know why. they're just a strict, judgemental older adult that wants to mold me into something but just triggers me. dropped out of dsa for like a month. i was thinking of quitting to join black hammer but they asked to drop dsa. met one trans boy and tried to force it to be love, but hes honestly an idiot. got my hysterectomy. the theme is this constant sense of needing to go outside but. patience.
no i haven’t gotten a new one because i am out of money and i want a certain kind of bike. i want like a 26 inch light 10 speed bike with straight handlebars that’s silver or black.
