ironically this is my third thread in this subforum, but uh. yeah. what it says on the tin. it's been literally a year since I signed off here, so maybe a lot of shit has changed (figured that reading threads would be a huge time sink and I should post here first) and a lot of y'all new folks don't know me, but hey. sup. I'm eP, and I'm back! so as you can see from my last status update, about 11 months ago I got sent to this therapeutic program by my parents. I was really fucking depressed, and I had asked to be sent to in-patient care (what those In The Know call an RTC, a residential treatment center) because just. nothing was working. what I DID get sent to was what's called a wilderness therapy program, or just wilderness (again to people In The Know). the philosophy behind such places is basically a) Nature Heals, b) therapy (talk/DTB generally) is beneficial, and c) removal from the Home Environment in which Bad Things have happened is also beneficial. personally I tend to believe in the latter two more than the first one, especially because I fucking hate being outside, but anyway. this place was in Hawaii and what I can say about it is basically that I hated it and it fucking worked. as I mentioned before, I hate being outside; at the program I literally LIVED outside for 81 days (yes, I counted). it was essentially camping except that we slept in bunks (with screens instead of windows and doors, I should add) instead of tents. I hate being dirty; I and my clothes were dirty ALL THE TIME. (we took showers three times a week, so thankfully I wasn't unhygienic, but I just. had dirt on me. also we were not allowed to have deodorant, which is Frivolous, apparently, and I sweat a LOT.) I really appreciate my alone time; I was literally never alone. I have sensory issues, particularly with a lot of foods; there was a VERY strict Healthy Diet. and so on. however, I had this absolutely fabulous therapist, and I'm willing to give the general Therapeutic Atmosphere some credit, and at some point in there I just. stopped being depressed? and I haven't been since. I'm still anxious and have Autism Things, but those are comparatively INCREDIBLY MANAGEABLE and overall I feel pretty damn great, thank god. anyway, I got out of there at the end of October 2017, and then (this is what I'm salty about) my parents, against my wishes, sent me to a DIFFERENT program, this therapeutic boarding school, as again they're Officially Known. that was also fairly restrictive, and in my opinion largely unnecessary, but they were really afraid I wasn't actually Not Depressed or that I would backslide or SOMETHING, idk. so that's where I've been from then to literally two days ago, but I'm out now. while I was there, our internet was pretty restricted, including everything vaguely social or communicative (the idea being to protect people from Toxic Friends back home, which I can't really argue with), and in any case staff watched everything we did on the computers (or were able to, anyway). even if the filter had allowed me on this site, stuff on here is pretty sensitive and I just didn't want randos reading it. so that's why I'm back now! so uh. questions? comments? concerns?