Homestuck-Style Cross-Fandom Shipping Appreciation Thread

The Teen Titans are one mass <3/<> poly hell ship, yes.

 

ohey so I saw Lego Batman yesterday and for anyone who's not yet aware it's basically one giant Batman <3< Joker fic. It even helpfully defines the word "shipping" early in the movie, which is important information I'm glad our children are being educated about.

 

Like, literally the entire plot happens because Batman tells the Joker he's not his greatest enemy and the Joker is so hurt and wants to make Batman see what they have here. There's a dramatic confrontation where the Joker yells at Batman for the fact that he's never once said "I hate you." The climax features

Spoiler

them holding hands and staring deeply into each other's eyes and saying how much they hate each other.

It is blatant.

 

sidles in with hands in pockets, leans against the wall... shifty eyes

anyone here want to wade through ~1,300 words on quadrant shipping x The Count Of Monte Cristo (2002)

 

The Count <3 revenge <3< everyone else? :::PPP

 

THATS HONESTLY a pretty good god damn summary but i love making things complicated >:D

 

i'm gonna draw a quadrant CHART when i get home and get to my tablet, i am just Itching to, but here
EDIT: added thumbnails for characters in case you don't remember who's who and need visual reminder!

QUADRANT SHENANIGANS IN "THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO" (2002)

Spoiler: LONG, RAMBLEY

SO OUR PLAYERS ARE:
- edmond

- fernand

- mercedes

- jacapo

- villefort

- albert


part 1 (before prison)
edmond <3 mercedes
fernand <3< edmond (one-sided)
villefort <3< edmond
villefort <> fernand

part 2 (prison, and then post-escape)
edmond <3< everybody
edmond <3< fernand
edmond <3< villefort
edmond <3 mercedes

part 3 developments post-escape
edmond <3< fernand
edmond <3< villefort
edmond <> jacapo
edmond <3 <3< mercedes

edmond <> type thing @ albert
edmond o8< jacapo o8< mercedes
jacapo <3 edmond (one-sided)
jacapo <3 mercedes (a little)
jacapo <><3 edmond <3 mercedes


see i can't do this in list properly it needs to be in chart bc everyone shares a quadrant corner or three
itd get confusing
and then there's like
the highblood/lowblood crap
political drama including a fucking emperor and his return to power
not as much vacillation as quadrant *blurring*

brace urself for caps
FILM IN WHICH THE NAIVE AND SOFTHEARTED LOWBLOOD EDMOND DANTES AND HIS HIGHBLOOD CHILDHOOD FRIEND FERNAND MENDEGO BRING THEIR GRAVELY INJURED SHIPMATE UPON THE SHORES OF A HEAVILY GUARDED ISLAND ON WHICH THE OUSTED EMPEROR NAPOLEON BONPARTNE SITS IN WAIT;

LIKE THE FOOL HE IS, EDMOND BELIEVES BONPARTE'S PREPOSTEROUS CLAIMS THAT ANY SORT OF LETTER TO BE DELIVERED OFF THE ISLAND COULD BE INNOCENT AND NOT INCITINGLY POLITICAL;

FERNAND READS THIS SECRET LETTER, AND OVERCOME WITH THE PASSION OF CALIGINOUS RIVALRY, PLOTS TO RUIN HIS INNOCENT COMPANION AND TAKE ALL HE OWNS FOR HIMSELF, INCLUDING THE DEMURELY SPIRITED AND CHARMING MIDBLOOD TO WHOM EDMOND IS SMITTENLY BETROTHED IN THE REDDEST OF QUADRANTS;

A FLUSHMATE MERCEDES, FOR WHOM FERNAND HIMSELF COVETS, IF ONLY TO DESTROY EDMOND MORE THOROUGHLY

i could really actually go on and describe the whole movie like that
i could do it

FERNAND <3< EDMOND
you see, fernand's waxing black at edmond is one-sided, at the beginning
fernand's had a hateboner for edmond since their starter sweeps, edmond never really had a reason to hate him, and likely was so soft (and preoccupied with mercedes) that he didn't notice the pitch creeping at him from the sidelines
but with villefort?

VILLEFORT <3< EDMOND
this boy, this beautiful, charming, simple, earnest boy, fresh-faced and so honest in his confessions comes to villefort under arrest
villefort is so Taken with this simple boy, and then he finds one of his own is so severely threatened by this gentle thing sitting in his chair in his office, and villefort wants to *ruin* him, and he can and he does

he was going to let him go, at first, after all, until he learned the name of to whom the letter was to be delivered

that prison would be very very very mild by alternian standards
when i was looking for word for word quotes one site mentioned that the book connoted chateau d'if to be a prison where the french send prisoners they are ashamed of -- not high-offending ones, really
insert side-quadrant-plot about villefort's many conflict of interests

so he pulls his strings and sends this boy, who he is so conflicted and maddened about, far away where he knows the warden will ruin him, but not the Worst place, because part of villefort respects and is attracted to edmond

and villefort feels satisfied and self-redeemed, he's removed the distraction, feels proud of himself for orchestrating such a smooth removal of desire he is inconvenienced by

EDMOND <3< VILLEFORT

and then edmond comes Back, as monte cristo (autocorrect said "money cristo") and edmond ruins *villefort*
and it's fucking Perfect
this ridiculous, drawn out dance over, what was it, 13 years?

EDMOND <3< <3 MERCEDES
EDMOND <> JACAPO
EDMOND o8< JACAPO o8< MERCEDES

additionally: edmond, hardened and bitter, definitely is pitch at his flushmate mercedes for a bit
literally: "if you love me don't take my hate away from me / it's all i have"

and his diamond, jacapo (ac says "jackpot" and i agree) is so concerned and enamored and he sees how much this is hurting edmond, how it incenses him

of course, mercedes isn't pitch for edmond at all: she's very, very flushed
jacapo, moirail for edmond, sees this, intervenes as brief ashenmate wherein he pacifies edmond AND helps mercedes out in their re-courting
gets a kiss from mercedes too >:')

so that's quadrant blurring there, pale/ashen

FERNAND <> VILLEFORT
fernand and villefort could be diamonds in like, the ugliest, most bareboned political way that's completely devoid of actual emotion

purely for the connections
which is what they were really
fernand is a piece of shit with shit one sided and/or unfulfilling quadrants because he deserves that in life because he's shit and has a shit personality
can u tell i hate him

EDMOND <3< FERNAND
and then EDMOND, as exhibited throughout the better length of the movie, is on the most fucking passionate caliginous quest to destroy fernand when fernands got no idea
so again, a one-sided pitch affair, but again, Very Intense, and not balanced at all

very classic alternian play-up of how quadrants are supposed to work
drama and jealousy and unhealthy, uncommunicative relationships, politics and conflict of interest galore, quadrant blurring, quadrant Questioning,
i fucking LOVE it

can really honestly be summarized with: edmond was so sweet and good that everyone either loved him or hated him
and then when he got traumatized off the fucking charts he comes back this ridiculous man exuding pitch at whoever gets close enough
except jacapo, who is one of the few who he respects in the particular way he does
and then everyone AROUND edmond has to deal with all that fucking angst hes throwing everywhere and everyone Else's quadrants get messed up in the process too, pfff
talk about charismatic

im thinking about the dynamics between faria and edmond, and then albert and mercedes/edmond/jacapo
faria and edmond definitely have the mentor-apprentice dynamic and it's fantastic

Spoiler: oops! incest

another spoiler layer in case accidental click
this is about edmond and albert, so, warning for "oops he's my kid" <>incest, age gap, power imbalance

Spoiler

so like, EDMOND <> ALBERT <> JACAPO
i LOVE how edmond initially started interacting with albert, A+, A GOOD, A PERFECT,
ssssooooo good, mentorship in a downward-direction diamonds kind of way, that pampering and encouraging kindness (if from ulterior motive in trying to manipulate fernand through albert)
like albert CERTAINLY did not get that kind of care or respect from the piece of shit that is fernand
and the way it gets delivered to him via edmond is so satisfying
edmond diamonding at his flushmate's descendant, its cute, sue me, its cute
and when jacapo notices, as edmond's own diamond, that there is diamonding going on between edmond and albert, jacapo sidles in, too
THINKS ABOUT, when jacapo stopped albert from joining the edmond/fernand fight near the end. He Cares.
jacapo is PRO at diamonds

JACAPO <3 EDMOND <3 MERCEDES
....thinks about jacapo having an unrequited flushcrush on edmond
thinks about how when japaco's ashening for edmond's pitch vacilitation at mercedes, so that edmond and mercedes can be flush again, jacapo deep-down would have liked a 3 way flush polyfam,
and like, you knw? when they all work everything out. balance, heal a bit more. flush polyfam + albert

jacapo balances edmond out so well actually
edmond's just: PITCH EVERYWHERE AT EVERYONE
and jacapo, the earnest, well-meaning, wealth of a man he is, is literally dancing in every other quadrant but spades, in my opinion
it's glorious
....I THINK I MIGHT? HAVE COVERED EVERYTHING,
talk about special interest

diverging from canon here, about mercedes' other pale-flush adventures
mercedes deserves all the flush... imagines mercedes diamonding with some of fernand's mistresses

even more possibly flush-flirting with them but she's devoted to edmond so i suspect she'd leave her flush quadrant stagnant
but it's nice to think mercedes wasn't TOTally miserable with fernand all those years and found some fulfilling relationships with other girls who also saw edmond to be a piece of shit up close
....thinks about mercedes pale pailing those mistresses.... a good good
besides her being a lovely, soft hearted person, it could give more reason to why she was so upset that fernand killed one of his mistresses' husbands, because one of her pail-pale-fling-mates would be devastated
also could give more background to why fernand killed the random dude, beside him being a piece of shit. jealousy, etc
like, killing the husband of a mistress he slept with and discovered his wife is also sleeping with

i am ACTUALLY the soaps MASTER

thinks about how polyfam essentially happened at the end
all the delicious plots and dynamics aside it really was a pretty movie
the scenery was p much always gorgeous and music was used fantastically at a lot of points
a very well told story

 

i honestly didn't ramble that much about edmond pitching at fernand and villefort as much as i could have because the whole damn movie already does that in delicious, extensive detail :p i mostly tried to poke at the other possible quadrantry happening there because i'm interested in like. the whole grid, All the characters, and how they all interact with each other

 

yes but also
sombra as someone who doesnt understand healthy relationships since shes been manipulating people since forever
sombra as someone who doesnt understand relationships outside of mutal benefit
idk i see her as a 1D joke character most of the time and im
Write The Angst

 

I cannot imagine any two individuals less suited to teach her about these things than Reaper and Widowmaker. Which is to say, GIMME GIMME

 

hmmmmmmm :3
yes good :3c

 

Well, now I'm thinking of Gamkutsuou, and it's obvious that Franz is super <3 toward Albert, while Albert is firmly <> towards him.

 

Y'all are talking my language here, and it's good. Fun question: who's the first one to get shooshpapped, and by which of the others.

 

idk who needs soothing but i really want reaper to be the first one to shooshpap just because of how awkward it would be

 

Reaper: S͓h̩͈͚o̮̜̹̳̣͇͜o̙͚̪̜o̯̹̮̲͖̯̹o҉̫̝͉̤̺̞̩ò̟̮̮̣̰͎o̙̗͇̳s̭̻̟̦̀h̙̜̜͢

Sombra: what the fuck are you--

Reaper: Ṣ͔ͮh̒ͧ̎̂̚oͫ͏ö̠ͯͅo̧̲̲͓o̷̱͚̻̾ͅo̽̈́ͯͦ̂͋̆o̱̗̙̾̓̂̂o͙̹͖͗ͪ͋͗̀̏̔͢ͅo̤̭̒̔̒o̡̪͂ͬͬͬͨ̐̚o̼̤̮̗̘̤ͣͅo̠͉̲͈͙̬̺̅̓̑͡o̱̟ͭő͓̺̤͍̮ͨͬͣǫ̲o̭̤̙͎͚̬̗ọͯͧͫ̊ͤs̮̬̫̖h̯̹͉̝̽̃̊ͮ͒͊

Sombra: why is this so soothing

 

Lets play "how many homestucks work at at cartoon network at this point?" My guess is a LOT



I dont really ship it but. Dude.

 

actually toriel<3<asgore is good

so is ridiculous flowey<3<sans and completely oblivious on both ends chara<3<sans "gdi my puns are better than yours this is totally a reasonable thing to be this fighty about" while frisk and flowey are like "...really you two"

 

toriel <3< asgore would be completely one-sided, though
........................and it'd probably be closer to platonic hate. you don't hatelove someone for killing your children. you just despise them

 

true

 

Oh, here's some ashen thoughts.

Reaper c3< Ana c3< Soldier: 76 after the fall of Overwatch, because Amari is tired of both these dramatic vigilante fucks and if they keep up the pitch overtures someone is going to die in a way that can't be fixed with a rez.

It doesn't come up entirely beyond the one interaction but someone NEEDS to auspisticize between Jack and Miranda in Mass Effect 2.