Horrifying headcanons here?

Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by ChelG, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. Kiyarasabel

    Kiyarasabel eats raw coffee grinds; sobs in sexual frustration


    Rarity about Sweetie Belle
  2. Birdy

    Birdy so long

    The Lazarus Pit healed or faded all Jason Todd's scars but one.

    The Y-incision from when he was autopsied after death is still there, a heavy pink keloid starting at his shoulders and running down from his sternum to his belly.

    He used to have (still has) dreams of waking up on the dissection table, looking down to see himself open like a purse.
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  3. Deresto

    Deresto Foolish Mortal

    Headcanon: Jadebloods are thought to be predominantly afab because amab/other jadeblooded trolls are culled shortly after birth in most cases
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  4. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    Troll lifespan differences, the lusii system, caste number differences and the buckets method of reproduction are all at least somewhat artificial.

    Naturally, trolls lay eggs, care for their young with the help of lusii, and have far, far shorter lifespan differences-a tyrian naturally lives only a few sweeps longer than a rust.

    As well as that, warmbloods have lower standards for passing the Trials on Alternia, and on Beforus the number of highblood eggs allowed to hatch was strictly controlled. The result was that far more warmbloods made it to pupation, artificially lowering the number of coolbloods-while there would naturally be fewer coolbloods, as coolbloods tend to be larger, at natural population distributions it'd be unlikely for the Empire as-shown to be able to afford to have all seadwellers be royalty, and there'd be, at the very least, thousands of heirs and heiresses.
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  5. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    The reason for the disproportionately high warmblood population is so that the sweeps taken off the warmblood lifespans by the Life powers of the Sgrub-aspected Empress can disproportionately lengthen the lives of coolbloods, especially seadwellers.

    Alternian coolbloods have a higher maximum lifespan than Beforan coolbloods-Condy has a grip on the life-force of every troll, and any troll that dies of anything other than old age has their remaining sweeps distributed amongst the coolbloods.
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  6. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    @Deresto I personally prefer a variation on that; male jadeblood grubs are given various hormone treatments and cybernetic enhancements, and that's what the Imperial Drones are.
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  7. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Going by calorie intake, prey hunted by a single troll probably couldn't effectively feed something as big as Gl'bgolyb. Considering the Orphaner's title and that he and Eridan seem to go out of their way to hunt lusii with wrigglers to care for, and Gl'bgolyb's an eldritch abomination anyway, I wonder if she actually gains nourishment from the grief and suffering. Don't know if that would work with Vriska feeding the orphaned trolls to her spider though.
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  8. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    "It Makes Me Happy That I'm Not Them" is Mossverse afterlife canon.

    Also, I wondered today if Mossflower's vermin, considering how tough their lives are already and that fleas and ticks would be proportionally bigger and more nutritious to them than they would be to humans, intentionally cultivate their own parasites as an emergency food source.
    Last edited: May 2, 2017
  9. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    The rapidly declining mental health of Gulo the Savage was caused by some kind of prion disease a la kuru. That's what you get for eating whatever random animals you find.
  10. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Because of his Friend To All Living Things schtick combined with paralysis causing difficulty keeping clean and meaning he doesn't feel any bites on his legs, Tavros is absolutely fucking crawling with fleas and lice and ticks.
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  11. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    a sad/angsty red vs blue headcanon

    temple has/had a big gay crush on biff, ever since puberty, when his hormones started doing their thing. and he caught onto it pretty quickly. unfortunately for him, soon after he fell hard for biff, georgina arrived and biff fell hard - for her. and so, well, you know, satisfied from hamilton... that ended up being basically what happened.

    temple saw how biff felt about georgina, and decided to keep his crush and queerness secret. decided that he'd never tell. figured that biff would never want him 'cause he already wanted georgina, and that biff was probably - considering georgina and the statistics, what percentage of the population is queer, and all - straight. and that, though queer people weren't oppressed that far in the future, they weren't considered entirely... normal either, were still (sometimes) considered objects of mockery (just look how the blood gulch crew often talks about gay people). and without biff, if he couldn't have him, coming out didn't really feel... worth it. after all, he couldn't really imagine wanting anyone else.

    and since temple is good at keeping secrets, pretending to be someone he's not, he managed to keep that one. all the way to biff's grave and beyond.
    • Like x 1
  12. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Mossflower's available birth control is limited in effectiveness, and there is evidence in the books that the vermin are biologically a tad less humanised than the woodlanders. Woodlanders usually have one baby at a time but the rats and weasels often have big litters, and their most reliable way of dealing with excess offspring is still to eat them.
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  13. cleverThylacine

    cleverThylacine cuddles for the weird and the fierce

    This is not just headcanon, it's also WT canon because I run WT :)

    Stanford Pines' grant was clearly not from a legitimate funding source. I work in academia. Legitimate grants come with oversight and people go over your budgets and nobody gets to keep all their records in handwritten art journals. Nobody gets to build their own house with grant money. It just doesn't happen. Also, you have to tell them what you're going to do with the money when you apply for it, and "go to the weirdest town in America, build a house in the woods, and draw pictures of weird shit" won't cut it.

    Something happened to him in college.

    Ford went from being a very gifted hard sciences student straight into a discipline (parapsychology) that was really messed up in the 1970s, riddled with pseudoscience and stoners, but also at the same time being funded by the government with the express purpose of doing hinky things during the Cold War (no, seriously--"remote viewing" for spying on other countries, mind control, all kinds of fucked-up shit). And at that time, with the Vietnam War going on, he had to stay in school or risk being sent overseas. (This is one of the reasons people who do not actually remember this era even as children do not understand how big a betrayal Stan's sabotage of his shot at that school really was.)

    The twins' mother may have had a hard time saying anything when Filbrick was throwing Stan out because she encouraged the sabotage, having seen that if Ford went to West Coast Tech, he would get into magic sooner via Jack Parsons' students, who were doing Thelemic and chaos magick in Southern California, and he would end up sucked into the government even earlier, because a lot of that crazy government funded shit was being done out there around the military-industrial complex at that time. (This is what happened to my reverse!Ford.) She may very well have at least foreseen what Stan was going to do and allowed him to do it because while Ford was going to go wrong, she saw something worse. And we all know she can't tell the truth, or at least not tell it in a way that doesn't come off like a lie. Where is she from, and what's her connection to all this mess? Stan may have got her personality, but Ford got her magical talents.

    Backupsmore reminds me a lot of a school my father taught at. It was a low-tier private college that was attended by people who had the family money to afford private schools but not the brainpower or willpower to get into a good one. It managed to keep its academic reputation by giving free rides to class valedictorians who had not managed to get funded elsewhere and were too broke even to go to state school, and in that era they would also have been desperate to avoid getting drafted, though I was a tiny kid then and my father didn't work there yet. He went there because he couldn't afford to keep trying to get into a really good school.

    It's been my personal headcanon that he fell apart in graduate school because he'd always been able to work hard, but he never learned to take things apart and do them piece-by-piece in a methodical way over a long period of time. I have always suspected Fiddleford of being the one who taught him to actually do that. (Among other things). Also, while they were clearly together at least as moirails if not lovers in college, Fidds managed to slip off and marry someone else. Somewhere during this period of adjusting to life as a person who had to plan things and pace himself and getting the message reinforced that he was only worth what he produced to other people, and that people would always betray him if he didn't leave them first, he cracked and got into the weird shit big time, and he was good at it.

    That money came either from the government (possibly through a lot of false fronts) and/or some group like the Illuminati that wanted Weirdmageddon to happen and knew that he was vulnerable enough to fall into the trap--keep in mind that these were the people who wanted to use Reagan as their figurehead, so it may have been the same group on both sides. (It's clear that the rest of the government knew very little about what these people were up to. If Ford had had a genuine security clearance with an actual government agency, he'd have been fingerprinted, and the agents who arrested Stan in ATOTS would have known that it wasn't the same person because they would have noticed they were short two fingerprints before they even compared the patterns on them.

    Miskatonic University? Probably not the SCP Foundation, they would have paid more attention to what he was doing! The government was of course behind the mind control work. And possibly blackmailing Ford and Fidds over their resumed/presumed relationship in order to keep their ethics flexible. Not to mention that even though he'd say he didn't care about him, Ford had a brother who was constantly ending up in prison in the United States AND in other countries where the US had interests and enemies.

    So he cracked up again and this was when he decided that "a being with answers" might just be a benevolent alien despite the warnings in the cave pictures. Only to find himself going from indenture to the people who were funding him, to outright spiritual slavery.

    Incidentally, I have always thought that Stan was nearly as smart as his brother, but learning-disabled and disinclined to academic work. The two of them worked together on projects as long as Stan wasn't expected to write anything down or do book research, and Stan did teach himself enough high-level weird physics and magic to turn that fucking portal back on without access to the kind of money that Ford had--it's clear that the Shack is a successful business, but Stan ends up so broke he barely has pocket lint while the kids are staying with him, so broke he can't buy them pancakes in Dipper vs Manliness, or get a hotel room in the first season finale--because every cent he makes is going into getting what he needs to make that damn thing work, and also probably paying off/bribing the people he had to get supplies from, especially if he didn't know about the UFO.

    Auxiliary headcanons:

    * Carlos from Night Vale knows of Ford's published works and admires them.
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
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  14. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Ragetti's actor made reference to the fact that he "does what he's told" when asked about gay subtext. Ragetti did not necessarily enjoy it. He certainly didn't enjoy what was done at least once to his eye socket.
  15. Acey

    Acey hand extended, waiting for a shake

    Relatedly, Pearls are preprogrammed to at least some degree. Rose tried to reprogram our Pearl at some point, specifically in an attempt to unfuck her somewhat; unfortunately, this didn't go nearly as well as intended, and may have actually amplified Pearl's dependency issues--it was essentially a fantastic form of brain damage. This was genuinely unintentional on Rose's part, and she felt extreme guilt over it for the rest of her life.

    Pearl's memories of that incident are remarkably vague, despite her having a near-photographic memory in general; she also has a lot of gaps in her memories of her early life on Homeworld. This is probably for the best. (She knows the most important details, and a fair few bits and pieces, but fairly large swaths of her early life are extremely fuzzy.
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  16. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Considering their previous track record of keeping the Seven Seals unbroken, the SCP Foundation either are trying to save 231, albeit for purely selfish reasons, or had damn well better start.
  17. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Disney's Princess and the Frog: Evangeline was a living being that existed on Earth, once. There are a lot of things that can kill a firefly.
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  18. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    You know how some monster species like froggits all seem to be basically clones?
    Yeah they basically have no genetic diversity on account of almost all of them died in the war or the hard first few years in Mt Ebott and so they basically had to resort to incest for their species to survive.
  19. KingStarscream

    KingStarscream watch_dogs walking advertisement

    When Aiden's car flipped, it wasn't easy for him or Jack's to get out-- it ended up rolling onto it's side, with Lena and Aiden crushed at the bottom among all that metal and broken glass, and poor Jackson hanging from his seatbelt above them.

    At least Lena died on impact, but Jacks was forced to watch his uncle not only bleeding out, but having a complete breakdown over Lena as well, because Aiden couldn't see her or the way her head was bent, so he couldn't see how very obviously dead she was. But Jacks could. Jacks could see everything.

    It took emergency services only fifteen minutes to get there, but it was fifteen minutes too long for him.
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  20. Aondeug

    Aondeug Cringe Annoying Ass Female Lobster

    Demagol is still canon in the Disney canon.
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