Spoiler: s1e9: the empty man cometh p.1 okay, so a thing i know and a thing i theorize, based on the summary. 1) i know they have ftl communications. that's impressive. either that, or they sent a message literal years ago and the ship's just now getting it. 2) i theorize that the empty man bit is intimately tied to the box and to eiffel himself. cracked pottery: eiffel is an AI, had an artificial body, hera couldn't access that information because it would jeopardize her functioning but minkowski could because she's eiffel's CO, box 953 contained a backup body for him, and now he's without backup. I KNOW THIS IS CRAZY. PLEASE LET ME HAVE MY FANTASIES. what a cock. "command" meaning military? nasa? some pan-governmental organization? goddard? OH MY GOD IT'S A LITERAL SPACE FAX. 'the golden rose is ready for melting. proceed with designation alpha. beware 5. the empty man has awoken.' Spoiler: I AM LITERALLY PAUSING THE EPISODE FOR SOME INTENSE THEORY. I'M BARELY PAST THIS. so. minkowski thinks it doesn't make sense. eiffel agrees. hilbert says it doesn't make sense to him either. i didn't hear eiffel ask for hera's opinion yet. but i think i just gained some kintsugi for my cracked pottery. you see, i have begun to speak a little schizophrene, in the context of rayray, and i have begun to speak a little literary prophecy, in the context of space marines with onboard AI and ship-grade AI. "the golden rose is ready for melting." a meltable substance was cast into a form and is now ready to be melted down into its component parts again. it doesn't have to be gold, or a rose, and it doesn't have to be literal melting. it could be returning to a baser state, or choosing function over form. "proceed with designation alpha." i'm coming at this with red vs. blue context. you have to understand that. Spoiler: spoilery things for rvb s6-8; nonessential but illuminates reasoning as it turns out, there was a military project whose goal was to create onboard AI to accompany soldiers onto the battlefield. the AI were given greek letter designations. we only met a few during the narrative, but there was this big thing built up about 'the alpha' and rebuilding it. as it turns out, the alpha was the original memory imprint (think lil hal) and the other greek letters were just aspects of its personality spun off as a result of extreme mental torture, so one letter got the logic, one got the creativity, and one got all the memories of the torture, poor guy. and the alpha was embodied in a main character we'd been following since the first damn season of the show, and also explained some things about ghosts and how they work. alpha, to me, means AI. i'm 90% sure this podcast started after 2010, which is when season 8 of the show aired and revealed all these things. why "alpha"? well, consider: the ship name is hephaestus. the ship-grade AI is hera. continuing with the greek theme, calling something by a greek letter indicates some major Science is going on, either with a ship or with an AI (and with hera, sometimes that's indistinguishable). "alpha" is the first letter of the greek alphabet (is, in fact, why it's called an alphabet instead of an alephbet, for example), meaning something primary, primal, first. "designation" could mean that this is a real name given to the thing or project, or that the project as a whole that creates the thing itself is "designation alpha." no matter what, though? i think this has to do with something on the magnitude of a ship, and probably with a computing system. and command's just given the greenlight to whoever's running it. "beware 5." this part is the most straightforward, actually. currently there are three human crew, one AI crew, and one eldritch plant monster crew. the last on board was the eldritch plant monster, but here's the thing: we already know to beware it. there hasn't been anything to tell us otherwise. minkowski wants to literally kill it with fire. so i don't think this part is about the plant (and besides, the plant was because of minkowski's experiments, not because of anything command did...? i don't think, at this point). i think this narrows down that we're talking about an AI here, because another AI would be a fifth member of the crew--fully sentient and able to express itself without coopting someone else as a mouthpiece (i'm looking at you, plant buddy). "the empty man has awoken." there's no way this isn't about box 953. so, there's no way this isn't about eiffel. but then there's the issue of puzzling out "empty" and "awoken." the verb "to awake" is used in many figurative senses, so it's not all about literally waking up from sleep. remember that eiffel technically died once and was resuscitated by hilbert. remember that eiffel had some really bad moments of existential dread in the box 953 episode, and that hera wasn't able to access the information--that is in her systems--about what's in box 953. eiffel literally awoke from death--some say that steals your soul and leaves you empty. but it's more than that. he got really fucking curious about that box. he never did figure out what was in it, but i'm standing by my theory from above. i think eiffel is "hollow" somehow, leaving him "empty" in a way, and i think realizing that there was something in that box was what woke him up. (he woke af, i guess?) i'm finding it hard to believe that it was complete coincidence that the box was no longer with the ship even though it was bolted down. like, let's say gabe's not fucking with us. it's gone. whatever was in there, for eiffel, is lost forever. this could also be what left him "empty." i'm starting to think that eiffel is really a doc scratch kind of character. "the golden rose is ready for melting." he's ready to be done being a good host to whatever's inside him, and his external frame (whatever it is) that was holding the thing safe is about to get discarded. "proceed with designation alpha." go ahead and discard the frame, whoever this message is addressed to. "beware 5." make sure eiffel is destroyed in the process, as we only want four crew members resulting from this. "the empty man has awoken." eiffel's onto your shit and you need to be careful about this or he's going to fight back. THAT, OR whatever was incubating inside of eiffel is ready to be hatched. (because apparently i was onto something when i noticed that hilbert was probably incubating cultures of some kind inside his human shipmates. and if minkowski has keys to hera's information that even hera can't reach, i'm willing to bet that eiffel would have keys to alpha's information that even alpha can't reach, whoever alpha turns out to be. also i accidentally used the word "someone" instead of "something" which was a complete accident and i only noticed it just now but if i was right about it being someone then i'm right about everything forever suck my dick) note: while the architect's surname was eiffel, what most of us associate that name with is le tour d'eiffel, or the eiffel tower: a landmark in paris replicated in several places around the globe. very tall. also? entirely made of scaffolding. there is hardly a single solid piece of wall on that thing. it's just a frame of metal held together by bolts. i honestly think this etymology lends some credence to this theory. back to our regularly scheduled liveblogging. i love the 2spoopy music during this part. also, i don't believe hilbert. at all. ("what? why?" is his first response. once they tell him the context, then he says what he says.) i don't believe him on principle. also, what's making the crew so sure that this came from command? i mean, i guess? also, if they needed some kind of clarification, i'd radio them first, and honestly wait two weeks for their ftl answer. this doesn't seem urgent, just confusing; if it was truly urgent, then eiffel and minkowsky would understand. 'the andromedas are broken. the northern lights should be reversed. alert 4. the empty man approaches.' Spoiler: GOTTA PAUSE AGAIN. GOTTA GO SLOW don't tell me there's going to be five messages counting down. my heart already can't handle this. "the andromedas are broken." what a coincidence! andromeda is another reference to greek mythology as well as an astrological thing! i'm doing a quick wiki and andromeda to me could conceivably relate to three things: andromeda the mythological figure, andromeda the constellation and galaxy, and andromeda the soviet science-fiction novel. Spoiler: andromeda the mythological figure When Cassiopeia's hubris leads her to boast that Andromeda is more beautiful than the Nereids, Poseidon sends the sea monster Cetus to ravage Aethiopia as divine punishment. Andromeda is stripped and chained naked to a rock as a sacrifice to sate the monster, but is saved from death by Perseus. interpretation: somebody gettin' stripped and chained to a rock as a sacrifice. whether they will be saved by a mirror perseus is yet to be determined. Spoiler: andromeda the constellation and galaxy Four constellations are associated with the myth. Viewing the fainter stars visible to the naked eye, the constellations are rendered as: A huge man wearing a crown, upside down with respect to the ecliptic (the constellation Cepheus) A smaller figure, next to the man, sitting on a chair; as it is near the pole star, it may be seen by observers in the Northern Hemisphere through the whole year, although sometimes upside down (the constellation Cassiopeia) A maiden, chained up, facing or turning away from the ecliptic (the constellation Andromeda), next to Pegasus A whale just under the ecliptic (the constellation Cetus) Andromeda is the location of the radiant for the Andromedids, a weak meteor shower that occurs in November. The future of the Andromeda and Milky Way galaxies may be interlinked: in about five billion years, the two could potentially begin an Andromeda–Milky Way collision that would spark extensive new star formation. interpretation: collisions, destruction leading to formation. however, consider this: The Andromedids meteor shower is associated with Biela's Comet, the showers occurring as Earth passes through old streams left by the comet's tail. The comet was observed to have broken up by 1846; further drift of the pieces by 1852 suggested the moment of breakup was in either 1842 or early 1843, when the comet was near Jupiter. The breakup led to particularly spectacular showers in subsequent cycles (particularly in 1872 and 1885). the andromedas are broken. literally, the meteor shower is the result of a shattered comet. this meteor shower happens every year in november. Spoiler: andromeda the soviet science-fiction novel Though the world described in the novel is intended to be ideal, there's an attempt to show a conflict and its resolution with a voluntary self-punishment of a scientist whose reckless experiment caused damage. There's also a fair amount of action in the episodes where the crew of the starship fight alien predators. The book closes with the launch of a new expedition, once again led by Noor, to a pair of new planets that offer the possibility of human colonisation. It is a bittersweet ending, as the cosmonauts themselves will not live long enough to return. interpretation: hilbert needs to exit via the airlock into deep space of his own volition. aliens are real. the search for deep space signals is not futile. the crew of the uss hephaestus is never going to see earth again. overall, i think the andromedas really are broken. the andromedids meteor shower is literally a broken comet. the issue is figuring out what it means. but, like. comets are just clouds of ice around a ball of ice, right? so there's a core to them. but this core is fractured. the ice clouds have deserted and the core is now falling to earth as disparate meteors. and this happened a long time ago. things are happening faster than command thought they would and this is the warning that a hailstorm's a'comin', probably, but i want to know what was in the core, or if the core refers to some of the shit i was talking about above. "the northern lights should be reversed." commonly called the aurora borealis. An aurora, sometimes referred to as a polar light or northern light, is a natural light display in the sky, predominantly seen in the high latitude (Arctic and Antarctic) regions. Auroras are produced when the magnetosphere is sufficiently disturbed by the solar wind that the trajectories of charged particles in both solar wind and magnetospheric plasma, mainly in the form of electrons and protons, precipitate them into the upper atmosphere (thermosphere/exosphere), where their energy is lost. The resulting ionization and excitation of atmospheric constituents emits light of varying colour and complexity. but wait! there's more! Aurora is the Latin word for dawn, and the goddess of dawn in Roman mythology and Latin poetry. more fucking mythology! this time it's roman. i'll forgive them. AND! Aurora is a fictional planet in Isaac Asimov's Robot series. It was the first world settled by the Spacers, originally named 'New Earth'; it was located 3.7 parsecs (12 light years) from Earth. more science fiction bullshit! note that eiffel, earlier in the series, was killed by a solar flare (solar wind) and brought back to life (awakened, perhaps? and empty/soulless?). they're also currently in an ion wind right now. i'm starting to think command wants eiffel the shell dead and to get whatever nut he's cultivating out of him. "alert 4." defcon 4 is only the second-highest level of alertness (defcon 1 is the highest alert). the four crewmembers, of course--or this time, are they talking about the two human crew, the AI crew, and the plant crew? because i don't think they'd want eiffel to know he gon' be chained to a rock and killed dead for his juicy insides. "the empty man approaches." THE WHITE WIZARD APPROACHES (yes, thank you, legolas, we see that). this kind of sounds like some slenderman fucking bullshit, until you run with the theory that eiffel is the empty man. what is he approaching? knowledge that this is about him and he gon' die. and we return. i'm actually going to make a new post, i don't know if this is too many words or not.
i'm gonna watch it tomorrow bc i'm stressed about traveling and can't concentrate, but i'm excited. i heard they said that the fourth season is going to be the last?? aaaaaa
Spoiler: s1e9: the empty man cometh p.2 CHRIST I AM FULL OF WORDS I'M SO SORRY "the first halves made no sense, but the second half does, and it's a warning." GOOD ONE. I PUZZLED THAT ONE OUT TOO, MINKOWSKI "a countdown, maybe?" "what happens when we run out of numbers?" ashes, ashes, they all fall down, eiffel. and there really isn't much to do about it, minkowski's right. gotta get through the ion fucking ANOTHER SPACE FAX??? 'the frozen pages are blank. decide what to do with the time that is given to you. emergency 3. the empty man hungers.' Spoiler: OH BOY LET'S DO THIS AGAIN "the frozen pages are blank." 1) melting (golden roses). 2) ice shards (andromedoids). 3) frozen. stuck (as in frozen solid)? very cold? who knows. pages--as in literal pages? or as in the attendants for knights and squires? blank--empty, bereft. when applied to an expression: uncomprehending, numb. eiffel said that box was very cold. he keeps getting himself into situations that are really cold, don't you notice? first episode, noted that hera didn't understand that humans can't function at nearly zero kelvin. second episode, with the toothpaste and having his room down to 40 below. out in the cold dark of space when his spacesuit malfunctioned and he was killed by a solar flare. box was noticeably cold. "decide what to do with the time that is given to you." this is actually part of a gandalf quote from the lord of the rings, which kind of plays off the whole THE WHITE WIZARD APPROACHES theme i noticed in the last message. the full quote is: “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”this is also right after frodo and gandalf have the discussion about whether bilbo should have killed gollum, to which frodo said "yeah" and gandalf said "lol you think you can decide who lives and who dies, how quaint." this is command referencing that discussion. note that there's no "no" answer to the question of whether someone should die in the original text, just "yes" and "that's not your choice to make." which is then followed up with this quote, and frodo whining about how he wish he didn't have to bear the ring, and the choices that we do have: what to do with the time that is given us. i almost don't want to touch the rest of this one right now, because lotr is a whole nother thing and i love the movies dearly and i remember loving the books just as much. this is entirely loaded, and an entirely intentional lotr reference; the other one was just a glance. basically, though, "you must cast it into the fire!" "nah *wears ring of power like a summer camp lanyard* *is killed by it*" the only thing i can draw from this right now is that someone's carrying a ring, and the ring is going to destroy them, or they have to destroy it. in this analogy, i'm not sure who's the ring and who's the bearer, but it's probably eiffel whining about how he wish he didn't have to bear whatever's inside him, and the choice that he has is what to do with the time he has left. (before it consumes him, probably.) "emergency 3." simple enough, again: if they're down to a 3-person skeleton crew, the mission's going to go badly wrong. make sure there's at least four. which means that, if i'm running with my eiffel as doc scratch theory, either they have to hatch him correctly to get to whatever he has inside, or they kill both of them trying to get to what eiffel is cultivating and the eldritch plant monster has to become official crew. either of those are scary. the second one would be a true alert situation. "the empty man hungers." for knowledge. eiffel wants to know what the fuck is happening to him, and his ship, and his morale, and his AI girlfriend, and his crewmates. also, for the knowledge of what the fuck was in that box that even hera couldn't access the information. i am probably down like twelve different rabbit holes chasing after red herrings and i don't give a fuck! minkowski and hilbert running security checks because of this--wow. yeah. i'm kind of disturbed too, to be honest. what makes us think this came from command? (ALSO THE FUCKING STATIC. STOP THAT. 2SPOOPY) "based on our limited perception of safety" that's not ominous at all! "only two guns? there's three of us." okay so minkowski and eiffel are both military? because she references that hilbert is a 'civilian.' no other messages? SPACE FAX TIME. "you had to open your mouth..." 'the broken flower is in the vase. don't listen to your eyes. danger 2. the empty man sees you.' Spoiler: OKAY OFFICIALLY NOW WHAT THE HELL? "the broken flower is in the vase." this is a combination of two previous ones: the golden rose (ready for melting) and the broken andromedas (the dead comet turned meteor shower). whatever it is, really? it's contained in something. for now. (also, interesting that a flower can be 'broken' somehow.) if you're innocent you probably think this is about planty the friendly plant but not too friendly. my question is becoming why does command have to send basically the same message four times in a row, all just as cryptic as the ones before? "don't listen to your eyes." you can't listen to your eyes. eyes see, they don't hear. other than that, this one is deceptively simple and i don't like it: appearances can be deceiving. we all know that! but whose appearances and how do they deceive? I'M SORRY I'M ON THIS EIFFEL KICK JUST FUCKING KILL ME. also i think the synesthesia of it is interesting. "danger 2." i mean. sorry. i've come to the conclusion that there's two people inside of eiffel right now and that it's dangerous for the eiffel that we know (the shell, as i'm kind of calling him i guess?). of course it's dangerous. this is bad science. bad experiments. bad. bad bad bad. "the empty man sees you." BECAUSE HE IS IN THE FUCKING ROOM WITH ALL OF YOU. HE IS RIGHT THERE. HE"S READING THIS TO YOU. OH MY GOD. i'm literally crazy. stop me "there's a lot of stuff that goes on around here that shouldn't be possible, but here we are!" and hilbert immediately redirects to something external. "mathematically unlikely," hera says. and her visibility keeps going down. ANOTHER FUCKING SPACE FAX? KILL ME 'there's no way out. there's no way out, but there is a way in. danger 1. the empty man shall knock.' Spoiler: *chanting* NO WAY IN. NO WAY OUT. NO WAY IN. NO WAY OUT. oh. i think i finally see the pattern. the first sentence is describing the precondition, i guess. the way you know something is ready. the second sentence is describing what must be done. the third sentence describes the consequences on the crew. the fourth sentence is about the empty man. this one's tripping me up, though, because it's five sentences (sort of). "there's no way out." there's no way out of the inexorable conclusion that all preconditions are met and this thing is ready to go. "there's no way out, but there is a way in." there's no way to avoid what must be done to bring this thing to fruition. the people doing what must be done have to go deeper *inception BWOHHMMMPPPPP* inside. *hacker voice* i'm in "danger 1." someone is going to try to stop this from happening. "the empty man shall knock." this is the one i don't get. out of all of these, this is the one i don't get. i know the crew's scared right now because hera can't see and they're in bad weather conditions, but there should be no way for something to get in that wasn't already. the ship has been making some weird knocking noises that eiffel has noticed. maybe hephaestus itself is the empty man, then. maybe i was wrong. maybe the ship is going to swallow one of them (hungers). maybe the ship has awoken to something hera hasn't. maybe the ship is approaching something it maybe shouldn't. the ship's cameras definitely see everyone, because hera can see inside, right? she just can't see outside right now. ... i mean, this is all just frankly bizarre but i'm trying to make some sense of it? I'M PROBABLY SUPER WRONG THO especially since i know other male characters get introduced later who could be empty men trying to get places they shouldn't... four fucking spoopy. the skeleton is inside the body. i knew it. the ship's knocking. "there are a lot of coulds in that explanation, doctor." and now the ship is shushing them. and knocking again. "shh. stop that." ME TO THIS PODCAST RIGHT NOW CRAZY WHAMMA JAMMA "yes, sure, probably? i'm having some trouble connecting to airlock 3" wasn't eiffel dragged through airlock 3 to get back in? ANOTHER FAX? 'zero. the empty man is with you. extreme danger. zero. the empty man is with you. extreme danger.' that's all it says. I'M UPSET ABOUT THE SHUSHING "not to alarm you all, but a power fluctuation is immin--" ANTOIUFSOIUDJ oh god damn it. you have got to be kidding me. those sons of bitches! 'the preceding six pulse beacons you have just received are part of a psychological experiment.' FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKYOU! FUCKLSDFJJOSDF YOSUIOKSDFLDHEW. at least minkowski's going to rip control a new asshole. wha tthe hsdfljskdf what the fukc
IM SORRY BUT IM CRACKING UP ABOUT THIS APPARENTLY THE PSYCHOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT WORKED ON YOU data gained: pixels will overanalyze your ass, ey'll overanalyze anybody's ass, ey'll overanalyze eir own ass also, fun facts, while everybody is screaming when the lights go out zach valenti improv'd this, which is my favorite thing
EY SCERAM AT OWN ICE CREAM ASS oh my god his voice cracking i love this improv. petition to make this an official prayer of a religion
omg i just realized i had never actually listened to Eiffel's prayer in its entirety. fuck i love this show. also ... Spoiler @blue, any thoughts on pixels' meta now, at the end of s3?
IN OTHER NEWS Zach and whoever runs the W359 twitter said they liked my cross-stitch i made for @blue excuse me while i flail (oh btw blue. kosher to share the fic i wrote for you for cmas?)
Spoiler: Spoips Well, I still think the message is gibberish, but some of eir theorizing re: eiffel sure works for Lovelace. And of course the knocking is called back to in Time To Kill and there's arguably an "empty man" there.... and @Kaylotta yes definitely!! :D
Spoiler: more spoips fair. i just wonder how much cutter knows/knew. bc ... honestly nothing would surprise me with him. COOL HERE'S A FIC, it's called Aye Aye it has loveberg and is terrible but also sad and hopefully it makes you squirm a little bit
I was re-listening to the beginning of season 3 and was reminded of what may be my favorite Hera line ever:
so. after THAT little adventure, i return Spoiler: s1e10: extreme danger bug yes, eiffel. actively seek out the bad things! "see? safe as" *explosion* i am always concerned when AI don't know things. especially when hera doesn't know things. also, creepypasta for secret rooms. wow. "look at all these jars!" FULL OF WHAT "A HUGE SPIDER" i hate that eiffel keeps hearing things that we, the listener, can't hear. it really disturbs me. "alpha test series" "specimen growth" OH MY GOD. HI ALPHA captain loveless? i've been hearing a loveless in this thread... oh, out of juice. how convenient. i'm not locked in here with you, YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME oh my god. i love this rhetorical device and i hatedelight in the narrative. it scares me. IT'S SPOOPY. SPIDERS. why are there spiders in space? oh my god he's so scared of spiders. STOP THIS. STOP THIS. I'M SCARED. STOP. I WANT OFF THIS SPACESHIP'S WILD RIDE. "why is it hairy and slimy?" I DON'T LIKE THIS. I'M SCARED. I HATE SPIDERS TOO, EIFFEL. SLKDFJLSKDFJ I'M SCARED. "EXTREME DANGER" WHAT THE FUCK I KEEP HEARING ECHOES OF EMPTY MAN I FEEL LIKE THERE ARE SPIDERS CRAWLING ALL OVER ME. stop this. I DON'T LIKE THIS?? I DON'T LIKE THIS!!! MAKE IT STOP!!! "i'm going to insert the needle now. don't flinch." WHAT. also, "good, good, you're doing great" DOM HILBERT WHEN? "i'm going to sneeze" I"M SCARELKDJFLSKDJF HOW AM I SO SCARED OF NOISE. IT'S JUST PEOPLE TALKING. IT'S JUST PEOPLE TALKING. I'M SCARED? what the fuck? "let it happen" "just a little further" why am i aroused WHY ARE WE TRYING TO DEOXYGENATE THE SPIDER? THIS IS SUPER SCARY?? i want all the logs from the lab. even though the computer ran out of battery.
