Humans are the weirdest aliens?

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by Sethrial MacCoill, Nov 29, 2016.

  1. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    alien: your dog serves no purpose. why do you keep it?
    me, clutching Hannah close to me: HOW DARE YOU! SHE BRIGHTENS MY DAY AND MAKES ME WANT TO GET UP IN THE MORNING. Hannah, don't listen to them, you're wonderful and perfect and I don't know what I'd do without you.
     
    • Like x 8
  2. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    .....do you think aliens have recreational drugs or
    how would they react to "yeah there's a chance I might die off a few of these, but these ones won't kill me, so I mostly stick to those. yeah, that one gives you hallucinations--be careful, though, bad trips are a fuckin' nightmare. some of these will make you feel like you're fucking flying, though. oh, yeah, most of these are absolutely addictive and shouldn't be used but some of them are okay and--where are you going?"
     
    • Like x 5
  3. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    Okay, slight topic change, but poorly understood/stereotyped portrayals of humans in alien fiction.
    Imagine the smut.
     
    • Like x 11
  4. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    all right but: confusion around human sexes
    some of them are very confused about the 'humans have different genitalia' thing
    this results in some aliens believing we all have the same genitalia (as any reasonable species would), and others believing that each human has their own individual setup of their genitals--they marvel that there could be so many setups out there
     
    • Like x 8
  5. Xitaqa

    Xitaqa Secretly awesome

    I love the idea that aliens would be perplexed by our earnest desire to mildly poison ourselves because we enjoy the symptoms.
     
    • Like x 10
  6. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    hell fucking yes
     
    • Like x 4
  7. BunjyWunjy

    BunjyWunjy Frabjous

    • Like x 14
    • Winner x 1
  8. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    Oooh. The "predators almost never evolve in the ways needed for space travel" premise is interesting.


    eta The sequel bit with the ham heavy "what do you care terran, predators are monsters" exchange is tiresome as fuck. Mistaking predator for carnivore. Humans are omnivores. And I know, I know, this isn't the kind of time where she'd be thinking clearly enough to consider the difference between "only eats flesh, only survives by killing" and "opportunistic." But somehow it's a kind of time where she's thinking clearly enough to make those barbs. Bleh.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2016
    • Like x 5
  9. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants feral mom energies

    That was sooooo good omg
     
    • Like x 1
  10. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    I mentioned the Jenkinsverse earlier, and I just remembered one of the biggest complaints I have about it.
    The aliens supposedly did not invent firearms and other ballistic weapons because ~*~their bodies were too weak~*~. Then how the fuck did they get to space in the first place?
    Edit: Nevermind that guns started out as fixed artillery. Also the whole siege engine thing.
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2016
    • Like x 2
  11. peripheral

    peripheral Stacy's Dad Is Also Pretty Rad

    alien: we do not have compatible genitalia
    human: not with that attitude we don't
     
    • Like x 27
  12. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    Oh! I have a relevant thing! It's transformers, because what else does anyone expect from me at this point. But! Thundercracker is a giant alien robot who turns into a jet fighter, and he lives on earth and spends his time writing screenplays for a cheesy human medical drama tv series. It's basically fanfic about what it's like to be a human, and it's adorable. His human FBI contact rags on him for it, but it's amazing. And also since he's busy exploring what it's totally like to be a human, he got himself a pet dog too!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    bonus: so he's written that josh boyfriend is handsome like an f-22 jet fighter? yeah, thundercracker is an f-22 jet fighter. i'm pretty sure this precious dork is writing himself a humansona here

    But since I have written manymany words of silly robot porn, with all sorts of silly xeno terminology, one of my favorite transformers posts I've ever seen is:
     
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2016
    • Like x 17
  13. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants feral mom energies

    I will never be over "handsome like an F-22 jet fighter." Never.
     
    • Like x 9
  14. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    I don't see the problem with that. Have you seen F-22 fighters? They're the second sexiest rectangles in existence.
     
    • Like x 7
  15. electroTelegram

    electroTelegram Well-Known Member

    second sexiest?
     
    • Like x 3
  16. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    Mettaton.
     
    • Like x 10
  17. chaoticArbiter

    chaoticArbiter an actual shiny eevee (destroyer of worlds)

    okay but that story was AMAZING. I did not read the sequel thingy though.
     
    • Like x 5
  18. swirlingflight

    swirlingflight inane analysis and story spinning is my passion

    it looks like prey 2 is on hiatus anyway, so the first story is a good wrapping up point
     
    • Like x 1
  19. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    One thing I haven't seen yet is, humans as the only species that's decent at punching.
    We've got weird wrists and flat nails instead of claws-chimps and the like are, iirc, terrible at punching, while it's often a human's first resort in a fight.
     
    • Like x 3
  20. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    We're also the only species that's good at accurately throwing things! (Well, in theory.)
     
    • Like x 2
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