Humans are the weirdest aliens?

Discussion in 'General Chatter' started by Sethrial MacCoill, Nov 29, 2016.

  1. Birdy

    Birdy so long

    Moreover, what if being weirded out by humans being omnivores? We can eat a lot of things that are toxic or at least undigestable for other species because instead of the "specialize in one food item, that's your niche" approach, we went for the "eat fucking anything you can get your hands on" approach

    This probably also means humans have a way more developed sense of taste than a lot of species, which allows us to distinguish between what's food and what's not more readily when we eat a bunch of different things. (Rats, for example, are omnivores, and have a very sophisticated sense of taste. Cats are obligate carnivores, and don't.) This would probably be so bizarre for a species who can't really conceive of flavor beyond "this is fresh and therefore good," and "this is not fresh and therefore bad." A scientist might be able to get it, at least in theory, because it makes evolutionary sense. But then the scientist would be even more confused by humans choosing to consume potentially dangerous substances like citric acid, ethanol, and capsaicin because "it tastes good."

    The culinary arts would also be seen as a weird human thing in this model.
    • Like x 16
  2. electroTelegram

    electroTelegram Well-Known Member

    aliens being horrified by humans regularly poisoning themselves for fun
    • Like x 6
  3. Birdy

    Birdy so long

    hey, cats do it too
    • Like x 6
  4. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    have you seen that video of the cat that escaped and found a pet store and got into the catnip toys?

    anyway, on a semi-related note: what if most planets had higher air pressure (venus has lower gravity than earth and still has a way thicker atmosphere-we might just be on a really unusually thin-aired rock) and so humans always have to wear spacesuits or whatever on alien vessels...or get nitrogen narcosis? humans would get high just by taking off their helmets!
    • Like x 5
  5. BunjyWunjy

    BunjyWunjy Frabjous

    of course all of this probably means that all alien life considers Planet Earth to be a crushy, barely-atmosphered Nightmare Death Zone. (with bears)
    • Like x 13
  6. Sethrial MacCoill

    Sethrial MacCoill Attempts were made

    can't forget the bears
    • Like x 3
  7. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    One thing I saw as well was the idea that every other sapient species is scared of space-they'll go there, but only to get to other planets. "Space is something you endure for as long as you need to get somewhere where you can survive."

    Meanwhile humans are like. Let's build floating colonies on Venus! Let's build 70-km-long space stations and put our capital in one! Let's build cities in pressure domes on atmosphere-less worlds! and they're calmer about EVAs than nonhumans, too.

    That was Humanity: Builders in the Void.
    • Like x 11
  8. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    Okay, but the most sensible way to do this would be a SCBA, and oxygen is also toxic at higher pressures (.5 atmospheres partial pressure starts causing issues when breathed long-term), so they'd need something like trimix, which contains helium, so now I'm imagining aliens all thinking humans have squeaky voices.
    • Like x 5
  9. PotteryWalrus

    PotteryWalrus halfway hideous and halfway sweet


    Whhyyyy have I only just seen this thread xenobiology from any angle is my favourite okay
    • Like x 5
  10. Sethrial MacCoill

    Sethrial MacCoill Attempts were made

    I had A thought last night concerning 6 foot humans and 3 foot aliens and how the two would hold formal meetings with each other, and I've come up with two possibilities.

    Either the three foot aliens have a second, smaller table they sit at on top of the human conference table or

    Aliens in booster seats
    • Like x 13
  11. BunjyWunjy

    BunjyWunjy Frabjous

    I also really like the idea that humans are just so bemused at the fact that alien life is tiny and adorable that we actually behave ourselves for a while, and most aliens learn to see humans as huge and really weird but pretty harmless
    until, I don't know, another alien species shows up and tries to wipe us/an ally species out.
    and galactic society gets social whiplash because humans go from adora-dorkable to MURDER ALL OUTSIDERS in an actual heartbeat and just annihilate the attackers (possibly straight into extinction because humans are vindictive assholes and probably wouldn't question a total slaughter if the victims were sufficiently non-human and not-cute) .
    and like, the next day we're back to adora-dorkable.
    • Like x 13
  12. PotteryWalrus

    PotteryWalrus halfway hideous and halfway sweet

    Guys guys

    we're the only truly permenantly bipedal mammal

    what if we're the only mammalian biped EVER

    And all the other bipedal aliens are like birds or theropod dinosaurs with that forward-hunched stance and clawed hands/wings. I bet our straight-up stance would look really really threatening :/ (Like I mean IRL most animals only rear up like we do when they're about to attack, soo....)
    • Like x 12
  13. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    Why would all aliens have only 4 limbs?
    What if most aliens had six, with most sapients either being something like a bird with weak arms, or a centaur-y looking thing?

    We'd look a, really weird, and b, really threatening-again, you'd only rear up to bring your forelegs into kicking position, to look threatening, or to look over tall obstacles, with a few species having prehensile forepaws and rearing up when they need four hands?
    • Like x 6
  14. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    Or even octopoid aliens, with eight limbs!

    (Of course, you'd still get some four-limbed aliens, but a six-limbed body plan would likely have more handed critters, ready to have a brain size/creativity explosion and become sapient. you'd also probably get some weird things, like a two-limbed alien with a prehensile tail, or aliens with prehensile tongues, or aliens using their trunk.)
    • Like x 5
  15. PotteryWalrus

    PotteryWalrus halfway hideous and halfway sweet

    • Like x 3
  16. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    Who even says anything about bilateral symmetry?
  17. Fucker

    Fucker Well-Known Member

    this math lookin mofo is equally big on each side im leaving this is too jarring
    • Like x 11
  18. OnnaStik

    OnnaStik Relatively nice for a bloodthirsty mercenary

    Some kind of symmetry is genetically convenient, since it just codes for the same thing twice, so there'd have to be some pressing evolutionary reason not to have it. (Maybe they're like land-flounders and hide on the ground?)

    Now, radial symmetry...
    • Like x 6
  19. Deresto

    Deresto Foolish Mortal

    Oh man i wonder how theyd feel about stuff like horseback riding
    • Like x 1
  20. Snitchanon

    Snitchanon What's a mod to a nonbeliever.

    In terms of Weird Aliens, I really like the Arrival ones.
    • Like x 7
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