she's martyring herself, not putting in any actual effort. catalogue that shit. if you talk to her, do it via text, and ask her to reply in text. a) paper trail of evidence, and b) it helps sort thoughts! the b) one you can give as reason for the request. maybe a c) of how it helps you w/ your memory issues. since she openly lied to you abt your dad's opinion, it's setting off red flags in conjunction with the "i know best" and "I am the poor martyr who has it so difficult with you" and the "you stay here!!". i'm smelling something ugly. bottom line: get the fuck out of there. and have everything in writing so you can show it to authorities or your shrink or whoever needs to see it so help you sort shit out if push comes to shove. and if she ramps up her tantrums, that's an extinction burst/dog science - weather it, document it, it's her flailing that she's losing control.