I Hate Kale So Much, Help Meee! A Community Supported Agriculture Thread

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by Beldaran, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. pixels

    pixels hiatus / only back to vent

    you can also try zucchini steaks if your zucchs are big enough! cut lengthwise into a "steak" about 3/4 inch thick maybe, add herbs and olive oil, grill, serve. like eggplant, but better, maybe. i just remembered the dining hall in college used to make zucch steaks.
    • Like x 3
  2. kmoss

    kmoss whoops

    my dad slices zucchini, and puts parmesan on the slices, and then puts them in the oven
    • Like x 1
  3. Lissiel

    Lissiel Dreaming dead

    I think i mentioned this recipe elsewhere but i make it all the time when i can't food and its really good.

    Saute two tablespoons garlic and some red pepper flakes in a big pan. Dice two zucchini, drop those in the pan. When they start getting translucent, drain 1can each black beans and corn, drop those in. Pour in maybe a quarter cup? And eighth cup? A generous squeeze of lemon juice and let the whole thing cook down til its pretty dry. Top with cheese, eat with chips.

    Makes a very generous portion for two or dinner and lunch the next day.
    • Like x 3
  4. prismaticvoid

    prismaticvoid Too Too Abstract

    Bacon is delicious with collards (which the SO and I also ended up with via someone else's farm box a few days ago) so I imagine it would also be good with kale. Tough leafy greens are vastly improved by oil, vinegar, and meat. :P
    Edit: I will note that I am way fonder of vinegar as a condiment than the average person
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2015
    • Like x 1
  5. Mattias

    Mattias Well-Known Member

    Zucchini steaks yeah! I used to make that with olive oil and paprika, grilled really hot so it's charred a little.
    • Like x 1
  6. Emma

    Emma Your resident resident

    Is there anything that isn't good with bacon? :P I can confirm that bacon and kale is a pretty good combination though :D
    • Like x 1
  7. Mattias

    Mattias Well-Known Member

    My sister makes peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, which seems pretty horrible to me, but I don't eat bacon so I could be completely wrong. She certainly likes it. My other sister made a chocolate cake for her birthday and put bacon roses on it, it's kind of hilarious how much my family loves bacon.

    I found a list of weird but good bacon combinations.
    • Like x 2
  8. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants feral mom energies

    I worked in a raw food vegan cafe for about a month, and we sold so much of our house kale salad. So much. Disclaimer that this has never been in my mouth because the smell of kale nauseates me, but here's the recipe:

    Wash the kale super thoroughly. Dry, and sort of press down while you're doing so. My boss always had me tear the kale up by hand, because apparently it makes for a better taste, but that's a pain so ymmv. E: Do tear the leaves off the stems though. Put in a bowl and set aside.

    For the dressing, mix two parts lemon juice, two parts olive oil, two parts water, two parts tahini, and one part soy sauce. You can eyeball this. I whisked it all together with a fork. Toss the kale with the dressing. The restaurant topped this with some sort of flavored nut meat that was essentially roasted at a low heat with an esoteric spice combo I cannot remember, but the point was to make it taste almost meatlike, so I'm sure you could substitute it with cheese or some other savory protein source. It would then sit in the cooler for at least an hour before being served.

    People paid quite a bit of money for this and would come in every day for it - I worked five hour shifts and there were very few days where I was not involved in making another batch at some point of the shift, so people must have enjoyed it.
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2015
    • Like x 3
  9. blue

    blue hightown funk you up

    @sirsparklepants I AM GONNA MAKE THAT
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2015
    • Like x 1
  10. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    The secret to making kale not bitter is to freeze it at least once, preferably while it's still on the field. Kale = NOT SUMMER VEGGIE. PRETTY FIRMLY WINTER VEGETABLE ACTUALLY. whoever started planting kale in the US has clearly no frickin idea of how it works.
    So just dump it in the freezer if you have one. The stuff keeps practically forever in there too. This is what my people did before all-vegetables-all-seasons was a thing you could afford. That and Sauerkraut. And red cabbage. No one ever say we don't like cabbage-shaped-food.
    Oh by the way for the healthy parts of kale to be 'absorbable' by the body you need a lot of fat.

    just. lemme suggest a dish here, the grumpy old people way:
    Gr√ľnkohl mit Pinkel (Kale and smoked sausage)
    Since I personally don't know of a specific recipe I am 100% sure is tested and true (it ain't my part of the country's cuisine, ask someone actually from the northern-northern part of Germany lol) I will just say it involves smoked pork chops, thick bacon slices and like 3 different types of sausage cooked on top of the kale, served with potatoes.
    spices would be whichever broth you like, mustard, a dash of allspice, onions, salt and pepper, steel-cut oats and some sugar
    ... this is obviously not vegetarian friendly.

    edit: Also should add this can seriously cramp up your digestive system unless you drink alcohol with it. And I don't mean wine. I mean like. Korn. Or Vodka. Otherwise your stomach will probably complain about all the fat.
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2015
    • Like x 1
  11. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants feral mom energies

    @bluefox I'm glad! Like I said, I've never actually had it, but the sheer amount of it that walked out the door had to mean that someone liked it, lol.
  12. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    An update!

    I have discovered fancy sausages in the freezer, so I am absolutely going to make all these amazing sounding kale with meat dishes soon.

    BUT I have found that I strongly prefer kale salad to regular salad as long as it's sat in the lemon juice for at least a day. I cannot believe the difference in flavor, it's SO GOOD. I'm totally going to try that other lemon juice dressing described above, but right now this is what I'm doing:

    Lemon juice, garlic oil, garlic powder, one squirt of chili oil, and a big pinch of mustard powder (to hold the water and oil together). I shake it vigorously in the container, and add kale that I rip up by hand while watching Steven Universe. Shake it again and then leave it in the fridge until the next day. I also cut up a cucumber and a green pepper into it, they help with the strong lemon flavor. It's been like a week and it hasn't gone bad yet so in that respect it's WAY better than normal salad because that shit goes bad SO FAST. Very frustrating.

    It's super good with savory stuff like croutons or cheese. Nom.
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2015
    • Like x 3
  13. IvyLB

    IvyLB Hardcore Vigilante Gay Chicken Facilitator

    If this lasts in the fridge for so long I will commence to unfreeze the bag of kale we have (it's probably blanched or something gotta check) and try this because LUNCH SALAD THAT I CAN TAKE TO UNI
    • Like x 1
  14. blue

    blue hightown funk you up

    @Beldaran the cucumber is a really good idea! maybe i'll try that with sparklepants' recipe? :D
    • Like x 1
  15. Ink

    Ink Well-Known Member

    Are carrot greens OK to eat?
  16. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Yes, though they don't taste good. ;p

    I'd suggest cooking them instead of eating them raw. Maybe in a soup?
  17. Deresto

    Deresto Foolish Mortal

    i realize this thread is kinda old but THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH. i was reading through the thread and i was like "but one of the best uses of kale is on a bologna sandwich".

    it's so good. especially if you get that cheap bologna that's more mystery than meat. just slap some mustard and cheese on there between some bread and you've got yourself a damn good lunch. they are like the oddest yet tastiest combination i've ever had.
  18. ectoBiologist

    ectoBiologist I'm a wise guy

    New thing for Kale:

    Pasta salads!!! Make a vinaigrette, cook some pasta, cut up some choice veggies, de-stem the kale, and steam the veggies/kale together. Mix it all up in the end and you have a kale pasta salad!
    • Like x 1
  19. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    Doing thread necromancy because the farm box has started again and I have Too Much Chard.

  20. Vierran

    Vierran small and sharp

    Give me your chard?

    (Actually, though, I don't know what to tell you because I'm completely convinced chard is delicious.)
    • Like x 1
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