He's been having terrible tooth pain since yesterday morning, apparently getting worse over time. He's on his state's basic medical care, which means it's sort of minimal, and getting appointments is really hard. When he called yesterday (Wednesday) they said they might be able to get him in tomorrow (Friday). When you're in agonizing pain, that is way too long to have to wait. I've been trying to give him good advice about pain management (what max dose of ibuprofen is, that you can take it at the same time as acetaminophen/paracetamol, reassuring him about risks and side-effects, etc.) but at this point nothing he can get without a prescription is actually enough to make him stop thinking about self-harm as a distraction from pain. I asked him to rate things using the 0-10 pain scale yesterday and he said it was initially in the 7-8 range, and meds got it down to about a 3, but tonight, even with meds, it was worse than it had previously been. That is fucking scary. I got him to look up the local hospital ER and confirm that they take his insurance, and I'm encouraging him to go there. I don't know if he will; it's triggering his anxiety and I'm just kind of ... doing a sort of terrible but necessary thing and playing his anxiety about his tooth against his anxiety about dealing with the ER and hoping he'll listen. Fuck, I wish I was in the same state with him, I'd be able to make him go if I were in person, and I'd be able to call his insurance to double-check and reassure him about the cost of the hospital visit, and even take him there so he isn't driving at nearly 2 AM his time while in horrible pain. I'm worried and scared, and I just want to be able to take proper care of him. Also for the US healthcare system to not be so goddamn terrible so he's not waiting who knows how long to see a dentist for what honestly could be a pretty serious medical emergency. (I haven't asked if he's running a fever, and the pain meds are antipyretic so he might not even be able to tell, he might have an infection and tooth infections are terrifying and .... murrr.)
I'm sorry - that really sounds like an awful situation! *hugs if you want them* My moirail also struggles with taking care of himself when his health things are acting up - I know the awful feeling of doing some maybe-not-so-nice things in order to try to get him to take care of himself, and the moral struggle there. I hope he's feeling better, or at least getting care by now. Are you doing okay?
Update: he didn't get tooth repair today, but he did get oxycodone and antibiotics. I am much less worried.
