I need help breaking bad habits.

Discussion in 'Braaaaiiiinnnns...' started by sockity mcbadsock, Oct 17, 2018.

  1. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    A post was wiggled for suggesting suicide and other dangerously harmful advice.
     
    • Informative x 6
  2. Marcy

    Marcy \o/

    but they aren't
     
  3. Aondeug

    Aondeug 宗教の学生

    Consuming real shit makes you a danger to children. You are providing demand for content that hurts children. You are showing that you are having trouble keeping the desires in check. Things could slide further into something that leads to another child being hurt.

    Because let's keep in mind.

    Kids were already harmed here.
     
    • Agree x 3
  4. Marcy

    Marcy \o/

    hi unfortunately the mods are 100% on your side so like there is basically no point in continuing this conversation, sorry.
     
  5. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    Yeah no actually people are responsible for their own actions and consuming cp creates demand.

    This person laid out a problem with escalation because what they were getting off too wasn't taboo enough. This is incredibly dangerous and they should have sought help prior to jerking off to images of real life children being abused. They have found sexual gratification in the abuse of actual children. They themselves are in danger of further escalation in the future if they fall back into that pattern and find that consumption of the material isn't enough anymore. This is what creates child abusers who aren't attracted to children. They need to get help and be monitored for the safety of others.

    There is a problem with the way society treats people who have pedophillic urges, yes. If you act on them by consuming images of actual children being raped, you have become a sex offender. You require monitoring so you will not rape children or further contribute to the creation of more material of actual children being raped.
     
    • Agree x 9
  6. Beldaran

    Beldaran 70% abuse and 30% ramen

    A post was wiggled for victim blaming. Less of all that please or I'm putting people on warn for the night so that I can sleep.
     
    • Informative x 4
    • Agree x 2
  7. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    Also the problem getting to this point is a symptom of severe underlying sex addiction and problems with emotional regulation and will need more than just some voluntary chastity to deal with. The odds of a relapse without seeking professional help are Very High and forgive us for not being exactly gentle about this given the severe density of csa survivors on the forum. I'm not going to coddle someone who jerked off to the kind of thing I went through as a child and then came here seeking sympathy and reassurance that they Aren't Gonna Get In Trouble when they
    did a felony actually and, should get in trouble.
     
    • Agree x 8
  8. Marcy

    Marcy \o/

    you don't understand at all. they will not get help. they will not be monitored. they will be put in prison and put in permanent solitary confinement (at best) or murdered (at worst), if thats what you want, by all means please stop posting because nobody is going to forfeit their life for the gratification of internet strangers
     
  9. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    You super don't understand how that stuff works and you're being incredibly insulting and dissuading someone with a chance of hurting children themselves from seeking help which could directly lead to real children being abused.
     
    • Agree x 11
  10. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    Like congrats on also contributing to the horrible ways in which society fucks over sex offenders by telling a sex offender they shouldn't seek help 'cause they'll die. I can't possibly imagine how this could backfire.
     
    • Agree x 10
  11. idiomie

    idiomie I, A Shark Apologist

    okay, wow

    listen, i break from most everyone* due to a combo of reassurance and affirming humanity can help people and i have the tolerance for it in this case, being not a csa survivor. i'm treating this the way i treated being part of an abusers hotline.

    that said

    is an actual thing sockity mcbadsock did and i am 100% not here for it

    (ping removed because i don't know if kathy wants me interacting with her (and i'll take down the quote if she asks) but that puts it Very Succinctly)

    *most everyone who has replied
     
    • Agree x 1
  12. idiomie

    idiomie I, A Shark Apologist

    also, @Marcy, that kind of fearmongering is what creates better predators

    i super duper object to you regurgitating it here
     
    • Agree x 10
  13. Marcy

    Marcy \o/

    they *are* seeking help, you know, here. because they're too afraid to do so anywhere else.
     
  14. Aondeug

    Aondeug 宗教の学生

    We aren't fucking qualified to help with this shit. The therapists are. It is not on the shoulders of people who have been abused as children to fix this shit because someone's scared.
     
    • Agree x 8
  15. idiomie

    idiomie I, A Shark Apologist

    like

    so i spent a semester at college volunteering on an abuse/sexual assault hotline, and one of the things i got briefed on in orientation is that sometimes the rapists/abusers themselves call in - because they know what they did was bad, and they don't know what else to do. and hostility often makes things worse, so if you can't handle being a kind listening ear to that sort of thing, tell us now, so we don't transfer those sorts of calls to you.

    i stopped after a semester because it was exhausting, and nerve wracking, and i needed a break, though i want to do it again in the future

    i don't think anyone in this thread is obligated to approach this the same way

    like! real, actual children were hurt here! that is a thing that happened! that is FUCKED UP! no one is required to hold sockity mcbadsock's hand over this.

    i think sockity mcbadsock should tell their therapist. i'm not in favor of telling the police, but that's because i have a deep distrust of the police regarding sex crimes in all cases, and if their therapist were to advise (which, let's be real, they probably would) i would support it
     
    • Agree x 8
  16. idiomie

    idiomie I, A Shark Apologist

    jove said it very well, too. it's great that they're seeking help at all but we're not qualified
     
    • Agree x 6
  17. Jove

    Jove [ destination defenestration ]

    Hey, mods, whomever sees this, mind temp banning me from this particular forum for about twelve hours or so? It would be extremely helpful for me, and I cannot handle the bullshit of someone fucking trying to coerce someone else into killing themselves. That shit is not okay and I'm not in the mood to deal with a meltdown from myself right now.
     
    • Witnessed x 5
    • Agree x 2
  18. Kathy

    Kathy Well-Known Member

    +1 would like to also be banned thanks
     
    • Witnessed x 3
  19. Lizardlicks

    Lizardlicks Friendly Neighborhood Lizard

    I definitely understand where the heated reactions are coming from on this. The reason I took the approach I chose: I have kids. I would like to protect them. I judge protecting them to be most effective by prevention. As sock account has already done the thing, the thing can not be undone for those kids, but it can be prevented for future kids. Focusing on past occurrences other than to say "stop doing that" and "here are some things that can help you not do that" does not actually prevent future occurrences. Generally speaking, most of the research I have seen has pointed toward treating pedophilia in many ways the same as you would treat drug or alcohol addiction. Understand that while impressing the seriousness of the situation may be helpful, shame very rarely is and neither is threats. If you have strongly emotional reaction to this kind of topic, you are probably not well equipped to actually be helpful, which means potentially being a detriment to fixing the problem, and actively helping to put future kids at risk. I'd prefer that to not happen

    @sockity mcbadsock If you currently are working with a therapist, I would strongly encourage you to follow idiomie's advice and to talk to them about it because they will be the most qualified. If you don't currently have a therapist, you may find your best bet in looking for one that deals specifically with types of sex addictions. Please continue to not actively seek out the content. If you happen across it for whatever reason, please report it.
     
    • Agree x 5
  20. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Where's your evidence for this? You argue that they haven't yet hurt kids. I'm not sure about that; after all, the people in the porn would probably prefer that people don't look at it or masturbate to it, and maybe they're still kids and maybe they're adults now, but it still seems like this action is not one they're gonna approve of.

    But mostly, I think the claimed compulsive behavior is clear evidence that OP does not have full control. Which means that no amount of "oh, I don't want to..." is evidence that they won't. And that's where it makes sense to bring this to a therapist. Yeah, I know it's scary. But I think they're gonna have to go to a therapist sooner or later, and it'll be less scary to go to a therapist about porn than to go to a therapist about rape.

    And I don't think your claim about permanent solitary confinement is accurate. Like, that's just not how it works at all. I had reason to look someone up who raped two different kids, one multiple times, and he got out of jail after a while, and was not dead. This is a lot less severe. The system's still not great, but they're at all aware of the need for treatment these days.
     
    • Agree x 10
    • Informative x 1
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