Idioms, slang, memes, and weird turns of phrase

I always heard iron bra

 

Two from the francophone side of the family:

"Tête de linotte" essentially means bird-brain but is cuter because it has a specific bird (the linnet).
"Tête de pioche" literally translates to pick-axe head, but idiomatically means that you're so dense it'd take a pick-axe to penetrate.

At work, we reply to melodrama from fellow coworkers (e.g., "Can I just crawl in the trash bin and die?") with a matter of fact "That's a health and safety violation."

 

@budgie My dad reacts to gruesome deaths in movies with "that's super bad for your health"

 

Someone mentioned DnD memes so here are some from my (sadly extinct now) DnD crew:

• [in a deadpan voice] "burn it".
• [in a deadpan voice] "I shoot it"
• The Flying Gas Canister From Vladislaw*
• "choke a wolf with my thighs"*
• [when everything goes combletely sideways] "mé" [= the sound of a lamb bleating]*
• Ana delivers the candy! [Meaning my ex-gf often got overexcited and accidentally leaked plot points or helful hints]
• "I lost the second game" - I don't know where the hell that came from, but it's a variation of "losing the game" that happens when you interpret a thing in a dirty manner - it makes sense because when you announce you lost it, everyone else starts thinking the dirty thing too, and therefore also loses.

*these 3 refer to each of the 3 different characters I created during DnD! I just make really meme-able characters I guess.

 

From my Queensland- Australian dad (cultural note: Queensland is to oz what the deep south is to the US) -

"Mad as a cut snake," - in a blind rage, or alternately batshit crazy
"German Tourist/Croc-bait" - a really stupid or dumb person, due to apparently it being a stereotype that german tourists are the ones most likely to ignore the 'No Swimming' signs and get eaten by our big saltwater crocodiles.

He also used 'shit on a shingle' to describe the meal of mince on toast, as well as 'colder than a witch's tit' (sometimes colder than a witch's c*nt, if he were in a particular bad mood). Oh, and he called Onigiri and sushi 'jap sandwiches', but I don't know if that was cultural or just him being an asshole.

From my (british) mum -

"About as useful as a chocolate teapot." aka completely useless
Asking if someone is going to steal the silverware, meaning are they an uncultured asshole.

Oh, and a weird one in our family is 'Schalfenze dansen', meaning good night or sleep well. It doesn't mean anything in any real language that I know of, but apparently her parents used it a lot (Grandad on that side was czech by birth, but I still don't think that accounts for it??)

Plus my brother and I arguing over the pronunciation of 'mosaic' (Moh-saaay-ic vs Moh-sake) to the point where mum banned us from using the word and we all had to call the method 'that broken tiled thing of which we do not speak'.

Stuff from my social group:

- "Outstanding." - when someone has done something really, really dumb.
- [singing the Steven Universe theme song at the most inappropriate moments possible - the last one was as we came out of watching Deadpool at the movies]
- "Free the dino-birbs! Equality for all!" - every time either me or my moirail's matesprit get rambling about natural history (came about due to a very, very long mutual rant about feathered dinosaurs and their lack of representation in the media)
- "What are you? Say it with me-" "I'm an innocent sandwich." (accompanied by face squishing) When someone hasn't been exposed to a popular bit of pop culture, or else something that seems obvious to everyone else hasn't occured to them.
- "Brushie brushie brushie." (rubbing facial hair or shaved portions of head.) Blame the cute bat videos where they get groomed with a toothbrush on that one XD

 

The best DnD meme I have is:
[during any tense or dramatic moment where this would be wildly inappropriate] "I summon an instrument!"

 

dnd memes are great

other ones include "we'll bleed him out! so we can dig the the sand up!"

 

More fun Souls phrases:

• Don't give up skeleton!
• Chest ahead
• Try two hands
• The sky and the cosmos are one
• PRAISE THE SUN
• no mercy for the elderly
• git gud
  
• THE REAL DARK SOULS STARTS HERE
• a hoonter must hoont

 

i've heard people use "christ on a cracker" for something really outlandish or unbelievable.

 

I've seen that one!

 

Oh! I use that one a lot. Also christ on a crutch. Both usually said in a tone of exasperation.

 

Friend of mine has extended that to "christ on a chocolate cracker" for who knows what reason.

My grandmother-in-law used to say "blacker than Cody's ass" for something being dark, and I have no idea what that refers to or if it's racist (who knows?)

 

I use Christ on a cracker all the time.

 

I always heard "full of beans" as a child-appropriate way to tell someone they were full of shit

 

Oh! I just remembered my favorite family meme, and it's so ridiculous. You have to wrap your arm behind and over your head, pull up on your nose, and go "Scooter, have you ever been a lot lizard?" in a nasally southern accent (lot lizard being a prostitute that hangs around truck stops). It's used whenever someone does or says something ridiculous out-of-the-blue, and it apparently comes from the time my parents were at a diner with their trucker buddies and one of their friends did that to the waitress.

Also, when someone hands you something that's unexpectedly heavy and is making fun of you for underestimating the weight-- "Were you expecting a California rock?" Alternately, when something that seems heavy is really lightweight-- "must be a California rock". (It came from the time someone my mom knew threw a rock and broke something, then said "I didn't know it would break! The rocks in California are lighter than these!")

 

my personal favorite family meme
is discussing the 'fat idaho chipmunks' and assuming any fat chipmunk is subsequently from idaho
this stems from a family vacation TO idaho, where we were basically tripping over super fat chipmunks.

 

-looks at own ass- ...Nope. Still pasty white.

 

All of today, fried rice has been "Temmie flakes." This is catching and seems to be sticking for the whole household. Excellent.

 

Tabletop game memes!

• USING MY KNOWLEDGE OF PHYSICS... (signifying that a crazy stunt is about to be attempted)
• The Magic Money Wand, which is waved at problems to make them go away
• From the Exalted game, a joke about a starmetal couch got so out of hand that the GM introduced an artifact starmetal couch into the game. One of the couch's powers is to compress a full night of sleep into a brief catnap. It has others. We don't know what the others are. The couch shows up in other timelines, in the past before it was technically created, in dreamscapes of people who have no knowledge of the couch, and in the homes of NPCs whose importance to the story only becomes clear later. We are beginning to suspect that the couch may be secretly guiding events.
• Pel-FREYYYYYYYY!
• Suuuuuuusan (intoned in the most portentous voice you can manage)

 

My sister and I referred to our dad's stubble as "yuckies" when we were young, and so it got adopted into general family usage.