Idioms, slang, memes, and weird turns of phrase

"Let me squeeze my lemons my way!" is a family phrase used when someone is being unnecessarily particular about how someone else is doing something. I think it came from some radio show where the guy was talking about how you should let someone squeeze their lemons how they wanted, because they would make lemonade either way. Or something like that.

 

Chucklefuck is a word I learned from a friend and it is the best word ever. You too should use chucklefuck. Share it with others. Spread it.

 

For some reason I tend to describe short, cute people as "two bricks and a button high" when referencing their height?

 

I've encountered "knee high to a grasshopper", usually referring to when someone was very young/small.

 

Oh! I forgot one of our biggest ones.

Entirely thanks to the Beastie Boys, we refer to sleep as Brooklyn all. the. time. And similar constructions: "Still no Brooklyn?" "Brooklyn is on the horizon." "I can't find Brooklyn." Never mind us regularly echolaliaing the chorus of the song when we're being stubborn about going to bed.

 

Some more really satisfying pieces of Brazilian slang:

• Quiet eater: Someone who has a lot of amorous conquests but doesn't brag about them, on the contrary, they seem shy and withdrawn and sweet and you can hardly believe how much of a casanova they really are.
• Hollow-wood saint: Someone who fakes being a good person but is actually rotten. The expression originates from Brazilian Empire times, when people would smuggle drugs and illegal goods into Brazil by sticking them inside hollowed out figures of Catholic saints.

 

Hollow-wood saint is likely to join my legit vocab tbh

EDIT also in tabletop memes, one of the characters in my changeling group was a werewolf researcher, and every time the player was out of game we would joke that he was at a furry convention

meanwhile in my current RP there's an NPC who is sometimes summoned by darkness-related abilities, and so there's a continued meme of "Roll for Lucus!" "I don't want to roll for Lucus!" type jokes

 

Things I say all the time, although I'm not sure if they're Southernisms or just family-isms:
"a good little while" - a significant amount of time (I've been waiting a good little while, it'll be a good little while before the food's done)
"Christ on a pogo stick" or if I'm really irritated, "Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick"
"what in the sam-hell" or (this one is all emphasis and hard to transliterated properly) "what in the hell"
"sweating like a whore (sinner) in church" (sinner if I'm at work) when it's hot and humid. My father in law says "sweating like a [minority] writing a bad check".
I call where I live "Hell's Screened Porch" due to the weather, and so sometimes I'll say something like "wow, we're really working on that Hell's Screened Porch title today"
"ain't got the brains God gave a goose" - I say this a lot in traffic because I'm trying to cut down on the amount I curse, especially in the car. My accent gets drawlier the more upset I get.
"slicker than shit through a goose" - "the roads are slicker than shit through a goose today, be careful"

I also grew up hearing "ain't got a pot to piss in" as an indicator of poverty, and "crooked as a dog's hind leg", mostly applied to our county sherrif.

 

I've heard "sweating like a whore in church" before, thought I think my family mostly used "sweating like a stuck pig", and my aunt uses "good little while" every so often. Most of those I'm pretty sure are Southernisms, with a bit of drift from state to state.

I've realized I say "on that like white on rice" - being 'all over' something/deeply invested in something, a lot.

I also use "boy howdy" a lot, which is just a general exclamation of surprise/exasperation both for me.

 

@sirsparklepants i've heard a lot of those! i'm inclined to think they're southernisms. i've never heard the hell's screened porch or goose related ones though.

 

... see I'm never sure what counts as a southernism because my mom is from missouri and the pot to piss in one ESPECIALLY gets used in our family a lot.

OH RIGHT one I use a lot that gets me funny looks is "news at elephant," which is the same kind of sarcastic statement-of-obvious follow-up statement as "water is wet," or an even more sarcastic variation of "news at eleven." I VAGUELY think it's related to the classic elephant in the room phrase but I have NO idea where I picked it up from. Google reveals nothing to me except news about actual elephants.

 

huh, i'd think it's because "eleven" and "elephant" sound somewhat similar?

 

Also a possible origin! I really don't know.

 

Hollow-wood saint sounds like some sort of fantasy religious object...BEHOLD. THE HOLLOW-WOOD SAINT WHO GUARDS THIS HERE FOREST.

Maybe it's because of Dark Souls. Probably because of Dark Souls. I need a Dark Souls fanfic where there is a Hollow Wood and a saint thereof.

 

I also use "Jesus Christ on a pogo stick." And, relatedly, "Sweet mother of [random noun]." I think I got the latter from a Dilbert comic when I was like 12.

Some of my personal ones: Responding to any questions about how/why something is how it is or works how it does with "magic," and any statement beginning with "how do I..." with "Very carefully."

 

'Christ on a bike' is a pretty common one here. Also people constantly calling you 'love' 'lovey' or 'my love' - drives me crazy because you never see older folk use it on men my age, just boys and younger women :/

 

I am also a user of "jesus christ on a pogo stick" or "jesus tittyfucking christ on a pogo stick" if I'm feeling particularly blasphemous.

 

my household had this rotating utensil-holder up until i think last year, we call it the roundy-roundy. i know some rotating tray things are called lazy susans, but i want to call them roundy-roundys too. this will probably get me weird looks in the future

 

This reminds me of the fact that both a hilarious squirmy dance one of our dogs does when I sit in a chair and he climbs into my lap and my grandma's walker are known as "the rolly-rolly thing," the latter being a joke based on the former.

 

I was watching TV today, and was totally reminded of one that's used in the Netherlands:

'Bouwvakkers decolleté' - Translated as 'Workman's cleavage'. It's the term for that part of the ass crack that shows up at the top of jeans when you're kneeling on the floor or bending over. So called because workmen usually have it.