-well, the lexapro kind of depends. How soon did it feel like it start seeming like it was working? Because usually it does take a few weeks to do anything, but some people really do seem to react to it fairly quickly. As for the not changing part, maybe either the higher dose hasn't really had a chance to change things, or maybe more won't make a difference- on the other side, maybe it wasn't a big enough change. Either way I'd definitely wait awhile longer to see if things do continue to improve at all or not. -I really feel you on the driving, I'm fucking terrified of it and still don't have my lisence. Maybe just try and keep in mind that yeah, eventually you will probably get into an accident no matter how careful you are, but it will very, very likely be a small accident like getting rear ended at a stoplight or something. Heck, if that's what happens then it'll be the other person's insurance paying, not yours. So scary, yes, but very unlikely that it will be as bad as you're worried about. Also unlikely that it'll have some catastrophic failure soon after you get it. There are few things I can think of that would actually render it totally dead anyway(and I mean, if it does crap out on you really soon, you can probably get at least something from the dealership because they're supposed to make sure the car is okay). Yeah some day it might need an expensive repair, but that doesn't put you right back where you were. It might mean you have to go back to walking/riding for awhile while you save up, but it's not like you'll have to buy the car again. -idk. I get where you're coming from about accepting the thing possibly making you lazy, but think about it- if you didn't know why you couldn't do the thing, you would probably keep throwing yourself at the wall and cause yourself a lot of distress without making any progress. Since you know it's an executive function thing, you can be easier on yourself about hitting the wall, and try and look for solutions around it instead- and medication might actually end up being one of those ways, since at this point you're not sure if the lexapro is doing as much as it should be or if it's a good fit for you at all. I would definitely discuss possible ways around the executive function with the therapist though, they could probably offer at least some ideas. And, perfectionism/high expectations growing up also leads to a hell of a lot of procrastination. It's a sort of self defense where you think, if I don't try at all, then I can't do badly at the thing. I don't really have any good advice for this since usually I just procrastinate until the last second, say fuck it, and do it all in one go; but I hope that it at least explained a little maybe.
Yeah, it could definitely be either of those, honestly, so I would just wait until possible hormonal suckiness can be accounted for before worrying that the lexapro is not actually doing anything. Oh, but also 10mg is a pretty small dose for lexapro, so I mean it would probably not be horrible if you stopped. But everyone is different, reacts differently to different stuff, so I would play it safe unless you actually do start getting really unpleasant side effects. I'm sorry :c but at least now you know it's not hopeless and it is a thing that can be achieved again even if it would take a long time. I wish I had more to offer. I'm not sure how much I would consider trying to protect yourself from unnecessary stress to be laziness, but again yeah I'd definitely bring this up during the next session and see if there might be ways to get around the wall that you hadn't thought of. It's fine! This is your thread, and that's what it's for. No need to feel bad about posting c:
Anhedonia and just feeling numb are fairly common with depression, yeah. People often don't figure them to be as 'important' or 'real' as feeling actively terrible, but that's a misconception. also yes I feel this
