I'M CAPTAIN KIRK

oh


...


...

ok

 

what if i change my steam name to succulent space jellyfish

 

PLEASE change your steam name to that, it's perfect

 

pls do it, let my terrible ability to read live on forever

 

back on the pokemon, and all i can say is HNRGH??? because after eleven episodes of more concentrated plot than the preceding 43 put together, the twelfth episode is professor kukui and professor burnett getting married, after... precisely one (1), possibly two (2) instances of such mild flirting that if they were the same sex, even rabid slash shippers would struggle to find material

i think i'm going to have to skip this episode, the enforced heterosexuality is paining me already

 

i mean i could watch it because i'm basing this off the preview screen so it could be a dream sequence or a daydream or something, but the episode title is 'the professor's new adventure' so i'm Doubt that this is anything other than 'well, we have two young attractive unattached pokemon professors of opposite genders, better get them hitched!'

does this mean ash is going to have to move out of prof kukui's house. or is he going to lie awake in his loft on his sofa listening to loud newlywed sex all night

anyway, everyone knows burnett, lusamine and wicke are fucking in a lesbian triad of science, it's the only logical conclusion

 

doot doot skipping doot doot eat the hets doot doot

 

oh god ash is still living with them. lad sleeps like a log, please let that protect his delicate brain, he's not very clever and the shock may kill him

 

ugh, just as sunmoon had more or less earned my allegiance as a worthy part of the pokemon anime canon it has to go and pull this fucking nonsense.

 

slowly pokes toe back into the pokeymons

is rewarded by ash getting punched in the face by a pyukumuku

 

no, tiny innocent mime jr. in my ultra moon game... you cannot learn mimic. you know not what horrors would be unleashed if you did

 

'kahuna, you'll catch a cold in those clothes' says the kid who has not once worn a shirt that i have ever seen

 

HE PUT ON A SHIRT

well, a cold-weather puffy jacket, but still

kukui also put one on... and left it open to show his chest, because kukui apparently decided long ago that if it's not showing off his pecs, it's not worth it

 

aha
prof kukui's wrassling career is a go

 

'you're so lucky ash, i wish i could have met the masked royal'
little did you know burnett that you are pegging him violently every night


(listen if i'm going to put up with this het nonsense they are going to be insatiably fucking at every opportunity)

 

i wonder why this episode has its japanese title and therefore was presumably never dubbed

 

the weirdest thing about watching subbed episodes is that everyone sounds different and has different names... except pikachu

 

i am entirely at a loss about why an episode featuring ash dressing up as a pokemon to help a bunch of monkey pokemon win a not-american-football match against a trio of bigger, assholeier monkey pokemon was apparently not dubbed

 

so i know that small, effeminate and sort of camp men is not the gay male stereotype in japan, but it sure is in the west, and the dubbers must have known that when they chose to give Ilima a voice very similar to james'

 

Ilima:
-tiny
-pink hair
-wears a sweatervest
-cultured voice
-moved to poke-france after graduation