I'M CAPTAIN KIRK

they make a point to meet up when the weather's bad just so they can whine about their arms
paddy assures felix that no matter how tempting chopping the damn thing off is, it won't help

 

paddy has always sort of vaguely regretted never being a dad, but he comforts (and guilt-trips) himself with the fact that due to the sheer number of random hookups he's had, not an insignficant number of which were with afab people, there might well be a kid of his running around somewhere that he doesn't know about

 

rip paddy

 

actually hey
hey mirrors
modern au (and thus, slutty ihop au) maikel had a prosthetic hand to match the events of trespasser
consider paddy and maikel bonding over this

 

they absolutely would
paddy's been through several prosthetics probably, going up in sophistication, because he lost his arm a good twenty or so years ago
he would gladly give maikel tips and tricks while also fucking him because he has no shame

 

paddy is aromantic in the sense that he basically just loves everyone
like. sure there's a difference in his generic love for all his patients and the people he meets and his love for his actual close friends, but...
like his two closest friends at least in slutty ihop are felix and nikeph, and they're pretty different. felix is an age peer, understands a lot of what paddy's been through, is a good drinking buddy he can get wasted with, and he'd fuck him in a heartbeat if felix was ever inclined to let him. nikeph is much younger, doesn't actually probably know half the details of paddy's past because while they'd be duly horrified they wouldn't quite get it, paddy can drink with them but is always keeping an eye on them to ensure their safety during, and he feels no desire to fuck them in the least (much to their annoyance sometimes).
But he doesn't feel like he loves them any different? he loves them both fiercely and wants nothing more than to protect and care for them both forever, but he really doesn't understand what people mean when they imply that maybe he loves felix in some ~romantic~ manner that doesn't apply to nikeph. he accepts that they're not just winding him up, but he cannot figure out what the fuck the difference is really meant to be.
he's essentially a massive pale ho as much as he's a massive red ho so while he separates out 'i love this person' and 'i want to fuck this person' (they can overlap but they don't have to, basically) he doesn't separate 'i love this person [friend]' and 'i love this person [romantic partner]'
as such, committing to like. marrying someone seems very strange to him even beyond his general fear and paranoia around committing to Having A Family And Close Friend Group.

 

i love the idea of so many people assuming that felix and paddy are halfway dating but no, paddy's aro and felix is demi and both of them have Damage around close friendships that makes them bond hard and fast once they're past it

 

paddy, pointing to felix: i would die for this man and i occasionally parent his children when he can't
someone: oh right you're gonna marry him?
paddy: what the fuck why would you ask that of course not

 

note to self: 3 rows done, 4 rows to go

eta: row 31

 

what if i'm rude and steal this from Dave even though i haven't been giving questions to other people to play nice

 

hmmmmmmm
Vivien is yours isn't he?

What's his Guilty pleasure that nobody must know about?

 

Vivien is indeed mine...

'I find this question intensely impertinent. What business is it of yours what I enjoy, let alone what I do not tell people I enjoy? It is, in any case, no place of yours to judge me.
...If you must know, probably my greatest guilty pleasure is letting Hapheus get his way in bed.'

 

have spent the weekend fixating gently on pokemon platinum and have some observations to put down here:

1) the turtwig line natively learns Curse via level-up
2) you can teach togepi flamethrower via tm
3) you can teach grotle at least (haven't bothered to look up the other two) flash via tm
4) pa & belle matt & ava on route 210 just outside solaceon town have a level 24 rapidash, which is bloody suspicious considering ponyta doesn't evolve till level 40 UPDATE: someone on the way to snowpoint has a lvl 39 rapidash, what sick fuck is dispersing illegal rapidash around sinnoh?
5) you can dig up revives in the underground, what the fuck are they made out of

 

oh yes, cute love story about gods and ghosts, many funny lines, greatly entertaining, i am BLEEDING FROM EVERY ORIFICE I POSSESS IN EMOTIONAL AGONY

 

both of the cats are pointedly waiting for evening food time

i hold the lives of these animals in the palm of my hand and i use that power to torment them by refusing to feed them before twenty past eleven

 

genuinely proud of how i cooked my own christmas dinner. sure it wasn't like, perfectly timed and things had to sit around a bit but it all came out great, even the roast pork and crackling which i've never tried to cook before
pic under spoiler

Spoiler

roast pork loin and crackling, roast parsnips and sprouts with bacon and chilli, roast potatoes, pigs in blankets, sage and onion stuffing, yorkshire puds~

 

a selection, many of whom you probably won't even know about because it's whichever names come into my head first and i have a lot of ocs.

Pollux: probably, if he's very bored at the time
Castor (yes, pollux's twin): maybe, if she's feeling especially sadistic. she is not a nice dom
Felici: pre-Sindri, yes if he was halfway to an anxiety meltdown at the time; post-sindri, absolutely not what the fuck
Aodh: they fuck one (1) human only, asher is too bougie to be permitted anyway
Momo: yeah probably, but he might write an article about it afterwards and publish it as an opinion piece in a well-known newspaper
Maggie: yes, next question
Fufu: yes, she's fucked worse, but she eats the vast majority of the people she fucks
Jetski: please do not manipulate, mansplain, malewife the sweet giant robot into sleeping with you, Asher
Vivien, original flavour: he has his sights set on much bigger things and boundless contempt to spare
Vivien, slutty ihop flavour: perfectly happy to dom him into the ground. ironically a nicer dom than Castor.
Fuse: stupid enough to consider it a good idea actually and also get entangled
Paddy: can, will, has
Nottie: you wanna fuck a pixie, cully? you wanna fuck a pixie? i'll show you how a pixie god-damn fucks

 

with the same list, so people can compare relative levels of stupidity and/or hubris:

Pollux: absolutely, without hesitation
Castor: takes it, very convincingly appears to drink it, doesn't actually drink it, is definitely judging
Felici: pre-Sindri, yes, immediately has so many regrets. Post-Sindri, is tempted but does not. Still manages to have regrets.
Aodh: fuck you fuck you fuck you no
Momo: Yes, but only because he's trying to write a series of articles in the style of Hunter S. Thompson
Maggie: yes, next question
Fufu: yes, but only if she's allowed to look like a child when she does. it's no fun if it doesn't look horrifying
Jetski: yes because he doesn't know any better. It goes poorly for everyone involved because he's a pathetic drunk whose tummy hurts and he's crying but you can't even mock him because he's too sweet about the whole thing
Vivien, original flavour: absolutely not, he is a nobleman with people to protect.
Vivien, slutty ihop flavour: does not realise the difference between starshine's parties and the rich boy parties he's been to. Overestimates own capacity for nonsense, has a Fucking Time, refuses to ever speak of it again
Fuse: WHEEE DRUNK VAMPIRE PARTY TIME. gets garlic'd while drunk, spends the latter half throwing up, still tries to keep going
Paddy: yeah girl, he's a regular. knows his own limits, knows how to have fun, and weirdly capable of providing doctor care while hammered.
Nottie: is six inches tall and demands a full pint

 

context for Nottie, from the worldbuilding document i wrote about pixies:

 

JETSKI HONEY!