Been trying to sleep since 2 am (early for me). It is now 9. I might've slept a little between 2 and 5, but I felt like I was awake and only half dreaming. But I think time went by a little too quickly, so I must've slept some? Bluh. Thankfully I don't have anything I have to do today. I'm probably gonna miss out on shopping with my brother tho :/
I need to be up for work in about two hours. Apparently my brain has decided that anxiety is a perfectly reasonable substitute for sleep. Thanks, brain.
My legs are really hot and tense, and it's keeping me from sleep. Ffs, this is my dnd night and i just want to be able to attend and be aware for it.
It's probably too late to help now, but if it happens again, a warm bath might help? My legs get tense once in a while and if I can soak in warm water, it helps a bit.
so, not sure if this should go here, since I'm probably going to sleep at some point, since i just chased an ambien with half a xanax (not sure if that's dangerous dont try it at home bur ambien doesn't work if you keep waking up for crying jags) but anyway it turns out even with that the crying jags don't wanna stop they just got a little physically qieter so anyway hey can anyone tell me y/n i'm a selfish kitty murdering POS preferably N but it doesn't count if there's not a choice and anyway if i am i'd like to know it also i'm lonely #ambien dial #shut up stupid brain
I have to get up early for an interview tomorrow before traveling up to the city for a doctor's appointment. Can't settle, all I want to do is netflix binge.
Does it count if I stand up at 8 am, work for 8-10 hours, take the 9 flights up on foot because the elevator in my apartment block is out of order, and then don't notice time passing until it's 2 or 3 am in the morning? 1 am is the usual time, can't sleep for the life of me earlier, but there's those other days... (and then my body goes into "you sleep. now. no backtalk. shutting down right NOW. for anywhere between 1/2 to 6 hours" but that's not this thread.)
been having a lot of tired but brain refuses to shut down lately. then when im still up at 3am accomplishing nothing bc im too tired, i get hungry but i shouldnt eat bc i dont need the calories. sleep is a terrible invention, there's things to do. fuck sleep i dont need it right?
Had PT with trigger point injections, and now my neck aches too bad to sleep. Even my usually foolproof method of audiobooks isn't working. Booo.
Nnn...... Why am I awake. I was so tired. I'm still tired. Instead I'm awake and going back to sleep is not happening, and I am still distressed by the dream of hauling tiny eyes-closed baby kittens out of gross oily used mop water, while someone asks me why I'm doing so, can't I see they deserve it?
I keep forgetting to go to sleep I think I need to set an alarm at like 1 AM that yells at me to go the fuck to sleep (for reference, it's 2:30 AM rn)
my months-long brain fog seems to be finally lifting! the downside: my brain seems to be trying to think all the thoughts it couldn't think before, all at once, right fucking now. it's four in the morning. i can barely keep my eyes open. but my brain is roaring like a jet engine. please, brain settle the fuck down, my body needs to sleep. ;_;
So. New med. "Consolidates sleep." Puts me out like a light for about six hours, depending on when I take the second dose. Haven't been able to bring myself to nap once the stuff's worn off. Dreams are weird, and feel a little more like a waking train of thought than being asleep. Woke up at 4 AM today, crying about... something that would spoiler a movie if I told you what it was but I was pretty broken up about it. So! I am suddenly spending a whole lot of time not asleep! And my antidepressants are exactly at the opposite of figured out right now. Bored, anxious, depressed, unmotivated, overstimulated, but not asleep! Also this med comes with a lot of warnings on the line of "Do not do (thing) on this drug or you will die." Great honkin list of med interactions, including a huge chunk of antidepressant medications and almost all anti-anxiety drugs. Oh, and apparently one of the things that might kill you is withdrawal. It seems to be something of an appetite suppressant, too. Been losing weight. Was supposed to, anyway. But, if it's a result of the drug, and it turns out the drug doesn't work, then what? Eating disorders in the family. Far more of my self-worth is tied into my weight than is healthy. I'm worried I won't be able to make a rational decision if I start getting some of the nastier side effects and going off it would mean putting the weight back on. ... anyway, i'm about to see if there is such a thing as taking a nap while on this stuff. Will report back later.
After the unfortunate 'Boyfriend Didn't Seem To Like The Thing I Spent Three Weeks Making Him' incident last weekend, I'm now in a tizzy about my plan to make origami Christmas thingies for his family. The ones I made for friends went down very well, but I'm seriously doubting my paper folding skills now. Consequence being that I'm awake when I should be asleep, desperately trying to learn how to make a tiny F15 fighter jet. I will not be able to sleep until I get this right.
aaaargagarg, why can't I sleep when I'm so tired. I actually have a thing to do in the morning... No, actually, I know why, I spent all day frustrated and overloaded and I don't know how I'm getting to work tomorrow and there was a stressful group conversation where I agreed to do something stupid that will make the person who asked me to do it upset. blegh.
So tired. Can't sleep. Gut churning for no obvious ... Wait. Fuck. The roasted not-yams but something close. Olive oil and whatnot. The coop had something like it with more kinds of roots. I always got it when constipated because it helped. Ugh. It tasted good but it seems I am betrayed. >:[ I am also full of emotional churning. But I showered, and hopefully I'll sleep soon.
