just creachin the best we can

CoolDude(TM)!Iroh, gotcha

Also dying @ the firearm workaround, that's perfect :'D faerie wordplay-style rules lawyering is my favorite <3

 

Ah, the joy of coming back from vacation

 

Pick me pick me!

 

Yeah, no, I'm going with Merry per our earlier conversation

 

Melodrama Mode: activate!
Was upset about things, headed back to take a shower, and what do I get in my head but soulful Irish tenors in four part harmony
tears fill up my eyes/
tHE IMAGE of YOU/
WON'T GO AWAYYYY

Me@myself: really?

 

Final realization for the night: while I'm sure I could benefit from therapy if I found The Perfect Match (TM), I think I might be generally un-therapy-able. There's a post that went around fb a while ago that basically was someone going on about how they went to therapy with an attitude like "I'll say all the right things and get a good grade and Win at therapy" and I don't... think I can turn that off.

And like, at the risk of sounding vain, I'm pretty damn good at coming off well in exact framework of interaction- I interview like a fucking champ too.

So sure, there's undoubtedly people out there in the psych field that could play me rather than me playing them... but those are also the ones I don't trust to be fucking around in my brainmeats. So again, barring that Perfect Match... I think I'm incorrigible and just going to have to figure things out myself.

 

It's so nice to come home to a happy v date in progress

Had dinner with a friend tonight who was previously a friend with benefits but is now in a relationship with a lady who wants to be monogamous, which is fine- he's fun to hang out with and sex is not exactly our only mutual interest. When he told me that they were going to try the monogamy thing because he really likes her, I was just like "ok, I'm glad you have somebody you really like and hope out works out!" But she was talking to friend about how she wanted to meet more of his friends... starting with me in particular.

And I spent the drive tonight telling myself that just because she was a generation older and expressed bafflement to friend at the concept of polyamory when he told her that he had a fwb and Wanted To Meet Me didn't mean this was her doing the defensive bitchy territorial display at a supposed rival...

But it kinda feels like that's what was happening.

Like, on the surface she was pleasant and we had decent conversations, but she was really on edge body language-wise and kept giving me really sharp looks and doing the whole pointed snuggle and lingering smooch thing all through dinner to the point that I'm thinking "ok, I get that you're still in the NRE phase, but this feels more like territory marking than just feeling cuddly"

And the veiled hostility is just really obnoxious, because I was all set to make friends and she just seems to have me firmly in the "Younger! Rival! Female! Has fucked my boyfriend and will again if I don't watch her" category, and I don't want to deal with extra scrutiny trying to hang out with him or have our regular hangout night suddenly thrown off because it's too close to a date night or some shit.

Just- I'm just now getting good at regularly seeing friends out of the house at all instead of just getting up, going to work, and going home, and it's been really good for me! And having that all be viewed with suspicion and possibly disrupted is really distressing, because I don't want this to turn into the tug of war she seems to semi-expect.

It was just really nice by comparison to come home to my house being full of happy people spending time together and just enjoying each other's company and not feeling insecure or jealous or defensive, but even as it was soothing to soak in the happy people vibes, it also drew a pretty depressing contrast to the dinner I just had.

So that's a thing.

 

In other news, my brain is quietly chanting "militant carcination" to itself, so my dreams should be interesting tonight

 

I love you and your brain

 

Taking a leaf out of Kit's book and making a list for tomorrow

• Post memo about Pub Moot in GaelPol Tumblr chat
• Make announcement post on religious blog
• Shower
• Clean bathroom
• Finish Teh Roolz statements (& print copies to bring?)
• Simultaneous how do I social and no one is going to show up freakouts (in all reality, it is likely that no one will show up to this one besides Grove members, as all of us have been really busy and haven't been on top of getting the word out in advance)
• Pack stuff to bring to bar (an craft, both decks & books bc I'm rusty, notebook, writing utensil, plus usual going out of house kit)
• Do laundry
• That's probably all the things I should put on one day? Scheduling is terrible I want a nap and a refund

 

so we're officially in peak season year end bullshit mode

today was a light day! I managed to take a half hour lunch, one of my two breaks, and only stay an hour late after work to finish some things up today!

except my 1 break was me running to the break room at 2pm to hastily make myself a tiny taco out of the leftovers from the catering we got in yesterday because a suit came in to visit, and consoling myself with the fact that I could come back and have a proper meal after I got finished with the mandatory training that was about to start

and then i finally got the chance to take my lunch... at 3:40...
and someone had tossed the rest of the leftovers
so i bought myself a bag of chips and ate them slowly, and then was mostly busy enough to not be hungry until it was time to leave

fortunately Kit was the dinner hero and had already made a big pot of chicken and bell pepper tikka masala and rice, so I could shovel it into my face at the speed of snarf

tomorrow should also be a light day! (I know to bring lunch this time)

 

@paladinkit, just now: [sings to the tune of the goldfish jingle] the Mac that smacks back- Stouffer's!

 

Ok so I'm listening to the Magnus Archives and really like it
Just got to episode 39: Infestation, though, and ffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck D:

 

THE NEPHENING DRAWS NIGH

 

Working on the Yule present for my boyfriend and we have progressed from the eminently meme-worthy declaration "IT'S DANG" to

IT'S DANGEROL, the dangerous alcohol

 

Well for all that work has me stressed af, my manager (boss's boss) just stopped by to explicitly and at length thank me & make sure I know that the difficult client she dealt with for me didn't make her think less of me, and that she knows my mentee is only still with the company bc of me, and that the other person I'm sorta mentoring has improved hugely, and that she knows my workload is huge but she's not seeing any escalations from me so I'm handling it, and that she's passed this on to her boss, who is second in command for the whole Midwest region
So that's a lot of things and great to hear

But I think I'm just as excited that I get to pick 10 of my simple clients to offload o on some newbies bc I've taken a few that were too complex for them

 

Also: "handling it"
*ugly laughing*

 

I am responsible for 447 companies' payroll, it is almost the end of the fiscal year, and our email system is shitting itself as we speak.

Lunch is over though, so boldly once more into the breach. -_-