Just think of blue stop signs.

@swirlingflight, you don't need to reply to this immediately but i'm gonna say a thing.

i really admire the way you consider other people's points of view, put lots of thought into what you say, and try to deescalate conflict. however, i also know that fights distress you a lot and well... i think you should allow yourself to nope out of them when they do that. like, yeah, trying to fix things, that's admirable, but it also really hurts you and i don't want you to be hurt. i can't stop you, i know that, but i'd like to help you. i'd like to do the best i can to keep you from harm. i know you're not made of glass and i shouldn't treat you like you are, i know that you can handle this stuff, but you don't have to. you don't have to engage if it's hurting you. you make good contributions but that doesn't mean making them is worth your distress.

and remember that you're not the only person out there who can fix an argument, that kintsugi and the world will still spin even if you don't engage. so nope out, let the fast people be fast, and let other people fix things.

just, yeah... i care about you and your feelings, even during the arguments that need troubleshooting the most.

or, i guess, to summarize, the thing about airplanes and oxygen masks: put your own on first, before helping anyone else with theirs.