Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by TheMockingCrows, Jul 24, 2016.
I played it and I
I am very sure this person has no idea how a baby is born at all
So I want to put Ariel's Legs Surgery in here because holy shit. Holy shit?
I didn't think that it was going to be EXACTLY what it says on the tin but it IS?? And Im HORRIFIED
.....the fuck did I just play
THAT ISN'T HOW LEGS WORK
what you dont have really thin skin separating your legs and then are so fine afterwards that you can wear platform heels??? psh i bet next youll tell me that you dont usually drink potions with jewels in them!
I'm gonna give that game a run through in a sec, but I wanted to say that aside from the PETA game which I think got taken down and is playable other places online, I've added links to all the games I've screamed about.
You know, wasn't the little mermaid said to feel like she was walking on glass in the originals...
Ariel's Leg Surgery [X]
Spoiler: We are all drowning.
Why is she crying and looking so miserable, and wtf is up with this music. What the fuck. I've never had a biology course, but this reminds me of when you like. Do the frog thing, from what I've seen in TV and read in books. Welcome to the pin specimen board, Ariel!
"I want to be a real princess!" says the mermaid princess, daughter of king triton, which makes her a princess.
Ursula you opportunistic bitch, ilu but this was way too easy a score.
throw everything into the vial. EVERYTHING. IN IT ALL FUCKING GOES. How did she get feathers down there. What the hell is with these ingredients.. Oh well, at least it's inky black. ..No, nevermind, magic wand is involved for some reason and RAINBOW~! Rainbows mean magic right? (no, rlly, why the magic wand, when did Ursula ever need a wand.)
Okay, pour that magical shit all over those legs and.. away it goes! Weird cutesy music is happening, but ok that's fine.
..... NOT FINE, NOT FINE, NOT FINE, OH GOD THE GOOSHY SOUNDS. WHY ARE WE LITERALLY CUTTING HER LEGS APART. ... D: why aren't we cutting higher. can she actually open her legs?? she wants to get laid someday, man, I'm p sure leaving behind fish biology has left behind a bit of an issue here. YES GOD MOP UP THE BLOOD, SIRENOMELIA CURE ON THE RISE. Don't forget to yank those spare scales off, don't wanna be turning up on land with stray scales. It's like not shaving, it's taboo, you'll learn.
Actually important question: Ursula is there doing all this. am I ursula?? Am I performing surgery as ursula? Or am I taking orders? HOW IS SHE NOT DROWNED? HOW AM -I- NOT DROWNED??
You grew toenails but dey nasty, trim them immediately, this is how we do things. (Eight Legs, Seven Vagánias). Get all dressed up in fuck-me heels and weird fashion, and.. who is that. Eric what happened to you?? Did you and Charming have a baby who got addicted to hairspray, or..??
AND WHAT IS THIS MUSIC. IT'S A KNOCKOFF OF SOMETHING ELSE DISNEY OR GHIBLI, IT SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR.. Fuck what -is- it. This is driving me as crazy.
i wanna say the music is from Pocahontas but i think i might be wrong.
Alice Back From Wonderland [X]
Spoiler: Why is Spongebob in my Wonderland
Oooh. Cute art style, and they have a separate menu for music and sounds! Music isn't bad at all so far, I'll leave it on.
Level 1 seems to be.. a mini game in and of itself, with loud carnival music. You have to grab keys to get to the next level. Neato! Let's see how broken the mechanic is :D No clicking, just move the mouse around to get the keys. Felt like it'd never end but... 633/500, not bad! And RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING MUD PUDDLE. ...I hope tha'ts mud. Yikes.
Good, the annoying music is gone and the kind of relaxing music is back. Reminds me a bit of Don't Starve actually? Yank all the broken glass, old clocks and cards out of her with tweezers. Alright. STOP RANDOMLY GOING "eHHHH!" Stop the random crying out it's weird D: and if you mis-drop the things, they juts fly back to her body. Sorry for the 3x glass there, Alice. wipey wipey the mud..
Wrap the wounds in bandages. Yes, over the stockings too, you don't need to remove your stockings for silly things like potential infection! STILL RANDOMLY CRYING OUT WHY??
wow, intense ass heavy music o____o holy shit, i like this without the random "EHHHH!" Sew the clothes up, brush the hair, aww, finally smiley again. On to stage 3!
... Suddenly tea party. Happy music an- SPONGEBOB GIGGLE? SPONGEBOB GIGGLES. I HEARD SPONGEBOB. GET HIM OUT OF WONDERLAND ALL HELL WILL BREAK LOOSE. I STILL HEAR HIM, HELP. OH MY GOD NO. He's somewhere hidden at the tea party with the hatter and the rabbit nO. Ok, something here will send her home. (I just noticed she has freckles, how CUTE.))
turned into the white rabbit
turned into cheshire cat
Finally home and.. just waking up from a dream, I guess.
No Alice, it was not all just a dream. it was drugs. lots and lots of drugs.
Santa Hospital Recovery [X]
Spoiler: Christmas Themed Ninja Doctor
GOTTA SAVE THE FAT MAN, I THINK HE GOT MAULED. Shit how weird would this be for kids who do the Santa thing. "SORRY, CINDY, YOU DON'T GET TOYS THIS YEAR, YOU NEVER FINISHED THE GAME AND HE GOT SEPSIS AND DIED." Shit tho, obnoxious christmas music, down you do. sorry for any sound effects I'll miss, it's not separated.
Was riding in his slay with no seatbelt and BAM, HIT A SNOWMOUND SO HARD THE SLED -EXPLODED-. that solid ass thing EXPLODED like eggshells.
Doctor's Office- Monday - Friday 8am to 5pm. ...Well fuck at least it's not the weekend, you'd be shit out of luck santa.
Get him changed into some jammie rob- holy fucking shit he has pine branches sticking out of his -head-. DON'T GIVE ME THE :/ LOOK YOU OLD FART, YOUR FATE IS IN MY HANDS AND I WILL TAKE MY FUCKING TIME, HOLD YOUR CRANBERRIES A SECOND. GEEZE. let me type.
Give him a peppermint pill. ... Uhm. You are not minty fresh and very chill :waggles fingers:. Yank out all the pine branches.
I thought this was an iodine wipe, but it's not reddish, it's yellow. It's not alcohol, it's yellow. It's piss yellow and oily, what am i rubbing on your wounds, sir. CHRIST THAT XRAY IS AWFUL. SHATTERED FOREARM, UPPER ARM, SHATTERED LEG AND FOOT. OW. OW. ... you fix it by touching the xray. AM MAGIC. LET ME PHOENIX PUNCH YOUR BROKEN LIMBS, THEY HEAL AUTOMATICALLY. AM DOCTOR NINJA.
Wrap the head and arms and legs in green and white bandages. That's kinda cute, it's all peppermint swirly, I want those bandages, I wanna be cute when I'm ouchin'.
Paint on a mint green cast for arm and leg, which.. goes from goopy gooey nasty stuff to WRAPPED cast, with the signatures of the reindeer. Are the reindeer anthros or.. Santa are you a furry.
and INSTANTLY BETTER NOW, FULLY DRESSED AND READY TO GO.
see? am magic ninja doctor.
I saw it and I had to click it.
Elsa Facebook Page. [X]
Spoiler: wh a t
Annoying music. Weird changing gifs.. There's an elsa in the corner who keeps daydreaming about kissing Jack Frost and then being sad and snowy. I. .. I can't even understand this. I'm picking from 3 answer options for all these questions. And they're so strange. Like. Pick a hashtag, who would you want to sing with. Is this like Facebook? I'm never on there.
Last check in?
Ariana Grande concert
The profile picture is her and jack. Are any of the questions I'm answering having a point? Is there a point to this game? Or is it literally like Facebook and there's no point.
I am busy being a queen
OH SHIT THE ENDLESS QUESTIONS ENDED, SUDDENLY A PUZZLE ON A TIMER, WHAT. WHAT? IT'S ONLY A FEW PIECES BUT WTF. WTF?
THAT WAS IT??
THAT WAS THE ENTIRE GAME? WTF? WTF??? DO FIFTY STATUS UPDATES IN A ROW LIKE MY AUNT BETTY THEN DO A 9 PIECE PUZZLE OF YOU AND YOUR SISTER, THE END, EVERYONE GO HOME NOW.
Anna Cesarean Birth. How bad could it be. [X]
Spoiler: It bad. Absolutely broken game.
what is with this art style, what is with this music, WHAT IS WITH THE CREEPY FETUS SUPERIMPOSED ON HER STOMACH. I should have known at the mascot of the company, but. holy shit nightmare material right here, what is wrong with you? Wtf are you dressed in? Are.. Are we giving you a fucking c-section in your bedroom you lazy shit? You look so chill and you're wearing the bikini equivalent of your prom dress and we're doing a c-section in this unsterile environment, AT LEAST SEXY ELSA WENT AND POPPED IT OUT AT A HOSPITAL BETWEEN POSES.
Why are we giving her multiple shots with the same needle in different arms. AND pills. You won't feel a fucking thing I promise, you'll be ODing. She doesn't open her mouth either, she absorbs the tablet. ...the music is really creeping me out rn it's like. oldschool prom slow dance music and her expressionless face reminds me of a blowup doll, are we delivering a blowup doll gremlin or.
The game started wigging the fuck out on me when it came time to check the heartbeat. OK. Reloading because restarting made it wig out even HARDER. So far: most broken game I've played.
... Nope. Still broken. Cannot actually finish playing the game. We went from "I THINK SHE'S DYING, SQUIRTLE" to Kristoff in a very official uniform very small compared to her at a weird angle, holding a blob of a baby girl all swaddled up from what looks like another game series by way of the skip button. It doesn't skip a step, it throws you to THE END OF THE GAME.
You give mommy drugs, then yo-YOU HAVE A NEW BABY, CONGRATULATIONS!
om f g I had to go back and edit the PETA game link back in, I found it on the same site again LMFAO. I COULDN'T FIND IT ON THE MAIN LIST OR BY SEARCHING THE TAGS OR NAMES, BUT HERE WE ARE.
Frozen Rapunzel Neck Surgery [X] and it's all @The J 's fault.
its 3:30am, what's the worst that could happen. THO SRSLY, THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR NECK.
Spoiler: AM DOCTOR AND WANT TO RETIRE.
"Today we are going to meet Rapunzel. Who is Rapunzel? Rapunzel is a celebrity and she acted in the movie called "Rapunzel". She has some problems in the neck and she feels that there could be some infection in her neck. She is really worried about her neck. Will help her for the surgery? Great! Let's start the surgery for Rapunzel."
... FIRST OFF, THE FUCK WOULD MAKE YOU GO "AH, YES, THE NECK SURGERY FOR THE INFECTION IN MY NECK, POTENTIALLY CAUSED BY A QUACK PERFORMING NECK SURGERY BEFORE. RAPUNZEL'S NECK SURGERY. FOR RAPUNZEL." What has been living in your neck. What is happening. Am doctor? AM DOCTOR. this music is annoying as shit too, it repeats a very short section over and over.
"Select right tools for surgery. Do make sure that you limited time and life."
Time and life will be limited with me on the case, don't worry, we'll have a short supply of those. If you misclick too many times, you do run out of life and have to redo it. The things fall and you click them, be patient, it's bullshit.
Oh, wow, yeah your throat is all red that's probably infected. ... wait is she awake? she's in a standing posture. IS SHE AWAKE? AND STANDING UP?? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?? DID I JUST SLIT RAPUNZEL'S FUCKING THROAT WHILE SHE WAS AWAKE? THERE'S NO BLOOD, WHAT'S HAPPENING. what is that yellow shit. what is this????!?!
ok the thing is literally on a timer, holy shit. uh. okay, let me recap before I dive back in and try again. You are literally slicing layers of her throat open, and cutting out yellow shit (infection? fat? other tissue?? no idea.) with scissors on one layer, slicing deeper and sucking out... something. blood? with a syringe. Then cutting DEEPER and pouring drops of medicine on either sores or something with holes. This is insane. Let's try again.
ok they weren't holes, they were sores. And then you cut even deeper. I put a fucking tube into the hole I made and forced air through, and apparently that finished the surgery. Lemme just casually wrap your throat up and call it a fucking day. OH BOY, STITCHES. .. AND THEN MAGICALLY DONE WITH STITCHES AND BETTER. CUT THE STITCHES OUT. YEP, MORE BANDAGE TIME, ALL IS WELL. ... SHIT. AND NOW SHE'S OK. I GUESS.
"Thank you so much! I am feeling now!"
ME TOO, BITCH.
I'm almost sorry I suggested that one.
Elsa Nursing Baby Twins. Okay. [X]
This music sounds familiar and idk why. why does this sound familiar..?? ..Ah well, turning the volume off bc I'm listening to a livestream already, let's see what's up. From a distance these babies look like anna and kristoff recolors if I squint.
... Oh. Diapers full of coal, it looks. Get the babies out of the mines, Elsa, child labor is wrong. Actually are these really babies? they're as long as, I assume, twin beds (snrk). THESE ARE GIANT BABIES WORKING IN COAL MINES, OR ADULTS WORKING IN COAL MINES WHO LIKE TO CHILL IN DIAPERS. I AM GETTING MIXED MESSAGES HERE, ELSA.
When you take off the diaper, they have a daisy for genitals.
"Are you a boy? A girl?"
"What's in your pants?"
Powder the daisies. Okay. you do you. Bright pink didees now. I guess girls? Well at least that explains why no squirting daisy, good. Lotion to the armpits and thighs, ok? .. uh. alright. And now you rub it in, enjoy your greased giant infant. No, need new special grease for the tummy, rub the baby oil in, they're not slippery enough yet, I want to squeeze this child and send it into orbit like when you drop the soap.
72cm and 3.5kg. so. 7lbs and 28 inches long, according to google. .... Why are they gigantic, Elsa. These children are apparently not giants, their beds are just weirdly proportional. DID YOU SHRINK? Mix apples and bananas, blend them, and then put the mush into a bottle. With the apple peel. ...Friend do I have a thing to tell you about solids being turned into more solids. Dress them up from hair to pacis and a toy to hold. Aaaand. That's it.
The name is really misleading, thank god, but. These giant children concern me.
Ice Queen Pregnant Checkup [X]
(I am constantly astounded by the amount of Frozen and Barbie and Princess games, they're so much funnier to play with the source material in mind for me.)
Spoiler: Elsa and the fully formed devil fetus
Elsa you are looking astoundingly chill and put together for About To Pop level pregnant. full face of makeup, snazzy clothes. Harem pants and a teeny bra-style crop top? Nice. Comfy. And hello there FETUS STARING AT ME FROM INSIDE OF YOUR WOMB WITH UNWAVERING EYE CONTACT, HELLO TINY DEMON WITH A FULL HEAD OF HAIR, HOW ARE YOU THIS EVENING.
Okay. Get the gown on and the hat on for the checkup. Seems a bit much. The top is just another crop top thing, with decorative laces. Who designed this, I'd be miserable wearing this sexy surgery bikini, I refuse. Temperature is good I assume. 37 celsius. .... you know this actually reminds me, almost all the measurements I see in these games is in celsius and KGs and such. These are not US made games. Who can I point at for the source of most of these games.
I tried to listen to a heartbeat but all I was told was that you do indeed have a heart. Good to know I guess?
Tape measure: yes that tum is tall and wide. It should still fit in the box.
Blood pressure: good. Yes.
Gel on the tum for the scan. Automated rubbing in and.. ... why the "Oh!" face. Does it tickle, or is it cold or. It's nauseatingly pink, I'm concerned. Is that even enough gel? When they were checking me for my gallbladder and later for my boob, they used so much I was slathered, that is a very small amount of gel.
JESUS CHRIST THE THING IS STARING AT ME. IT'S BLINKING AND STARING AT ME LIKE SOME AWFUL LITTLE TROLL CREATURE. LEMME JUST MEASURE YOU IN THE WOMB AND CHECK YOUR HEARTBEAT FROM IN THERE. THIS IS FINE.
"Elsa is healthy. Go to pregnant caring stage." wat
Another crop top and harem pants. Eat the pill, Elsa. idk what it does, but take it. EAT THE APPLE, ELSA. This is reminding me of the pregnant BFFs game and I am Concern. Same setup.
Music on the tum, rock out you little monster, rock out.
..... be- ... belly tattos. I can get this preggo bump some swag, holy shit. WITH SPRAY PAINT.
There is no win screen, no menu. You just stare at her empty face till you hit the Replay button.
well then WHAT is the POINT
THE SWEET GAMEPLAY AND HER POSING WITH HER SPRAY PAINT TAT.
SHE IS AWAITED IN VALHALLA.
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