Baby Blimp [X] Thoughts going in: am I gonna be throwing babies out of a blimp like the stork? Thoughts on reading the starting screen: h0ly shit i think i am, i am excite Thoughts after playing: THERE ARE NONE, THE GAME NEVER STARTS FOR ME. IT NEVER BEGAN. CLICKED ALL OVER THE FUCKING SCREEN. NO GAME.
I got it to start, but then the bubble with the words explaining what I'm DOING are completely cut out of the screen. yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Yeah that's as far as I got. And it never left. I kept hoping it'd leave, or disperse, or I could click to close it after I'd read it but. Nnnope. Nada. the comments are gorgeous under it tho.
Messy Elsa [X] Spoiler: confusing briefly but actually pretty entertaining! wtf is this bouncy music. ty for not being a direct art trace or the weird bedroom eyes sex pose either on the menu but????????? what is this? did you fight a bear? fight a rogue troll in the wilderness? did someone finally come and beat your ass for those instagram comments? gurl spill, what happened, and why are you being showered while fully dressed. :cut scene: So. Riding in your carriage being chased by a dog. Carriage hits a rock. Explodes twice. Get trampled by the big dog. Sadface. Well this is why you don't smuggle sausages in your dress, great danes will want to trample you for smelling tasty. Also was that carriage tinker toys? you were on a path how did you get branches in your hair. so many questions. Accidentally clicked Next bc no prompts: She's sad and says "I'm still messy, i expected more from you." Complete with lower case i. Let's try this again. Oh, this is a fun one. Repetitive pointing and clicking, score counter. ...OH. Wow, they're sneaky! I was so confused, I couldn't get all the rocks off with the brush after I'd gotten the splinters, I HAD TO TAKE HER DRESS OF. I actually didn't notice it was removable. Okay off goes the rocks. ohhhh. oh shit it got better, there's mini-games. I can't sort out the differences, I'm such shit at these.. ffffuuuuuck. okay, got her clean otherwise but I NEED THAT SOAP. Oh, an item find, I'm better at that, good good good. OH, SHIT THERE'S THE DIFFERENCE, I FEEL STUPID AS SHIT. ..... let me clean her dress. let me jus- let me do it i earned it I EARNED IT. LET ME WASH IT, I EARNED IT. D: :Redoes the entire fucking game so I can wash her dress before everything else.: ....... NAILED IT.
Elsa Leaving Jack Frost [X] WILL YOU BE AS GOOD AS KEN LEAVES BARBIE? Spoiler: hooooly shit this game Already I'm amused: she's leaving him, not the other way around. She thinks he doesn't love her anymore, packs her bags and leaves. YOU GO ELSA, TEN FOR YOUR ELSA. Tho I do appreciate the Him Cold pun. ... omg. her pre-teen diary Master Plan of the levels. "Dear Diary, I'm breaking up with Jack. Here's my plan: Pack my bags. Write a goodbye note. Set up a dating profile. Choose a date. But... am I sure? This makes me wonder what happened, already. It went from "idk i don't think he loves me anymore" to "I'm writing out my master plan for leaving him in the night" to "I'M LEAVING AND IMMEDIATELY HOOKING UP W/ SOMEONE ELSE FOR REASONS I DON'T KNOW YET AND IT'LL BE GREAT." finding the things in her room is annoying, let me click where I want instead of this annoying magnifying glass thing. .... is that an OBEY hat. Elsa why do you have an OBEY hat. What are you doing. Are you secretly an MRA? Is Jack an MRA? Is that his hat? THESE BREAKUP NOTE CHOICES, I'M HOWLING. Some are gorgeous, some are silly, some are just.. kind of really sad and hinting at some fucked up relationship issues. Spoiler: All the options "I am leaving. It's not me, it's you. I've got to let this go." "I need to find myself, and I just can't do that with you. I'm sorry." "I want us to take a break. Like, forever." "Roses are red Violets are blue I'd rather do anything Than continue with you" "I feel invisible around you and I think I deserve someone better. I'm leaving." "I want to break up, but we can still be friends." "I don't think you're ready to commit, I want to date someone more mature than you." "I'm moving back with Anna, I want us to take a break." "I'm sorry but my parents have promised me to another suitor. I'm leaving you." "Just so you know, I'm changing my Facebook status to single. Get the hint?" The Tinder profile is so strange. I'm a weirdo who dated local in tiny town and got married early as shit, I've never seen a dating app. But the pics are like.. I think they're actually photomanips that put her head on people. I'm so confused, it's weird. Descriptions are.. oh man. Apparently she'd be a 1D fan! Other options are her Let It Go song.. Oh. Wow these are all horrible. Options are photo manip dudes! Hans, Eugene, Hiccup, .... KEN? , THE SHOPKEEPER DUDE I THINK? I CAN'T TELL IT'S BEEN A WHILE, OMG. I know what I must do. SELECT HIM. Oh god. you get a choice to stay or go, he confronts her. I'm gonna be a douche and see what happens if you stay. "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you. I love you more than ever!" - awkward stiff hugging. ok lets see the better ending. ... PHOTOMANIP WITH THE DUDE, AHAHAHAHAHA. "DEAR DIARY, I FINALLY FOUND TRUE LOVE."
Please, love yourself, play Mimou Escape 2. Please. It's not stock images, it's adorable and fluid movement in original animation, it's silly, and you play as a cat trapped in a washing machine. This is legitimately a really cute escape game, I actually got really lost a few times and finally managed the escape. Hint: I suck at escape games.
Ponies In The City is... a strange game. I THINK it's a game?? You can only play it once per day apparently. You take a little quiz to see what pony you are today. you're encouraged to check each day. I am a Rainbow Unicorn today, but the image is a plain white unicorn walking. ok.
My Beauty Spa Panic [X] I thought it was a fischer price style Anna recolor till I noticed the ponytail. Touche. WINNER Promotion in SPA Gettin' my nails did, aw yea. ... Phone call. ... THE BITCH WHO WAS DOING MY NAILS JUST LEFT? LEFT ME BEHIND? GOT HER SUITCASE AND FUCKING LEFT??? .... I'm working here now. It's like that "I made this" pic. Oh sweet I can play a guy or a girl. Let's try the dude, I never get to play as dudes in these games. It's actually a fun little time waster :D you take care of customers and try to not have them get pissed, can decorate a bit. It's neat.
omg i got baby blimp to work so you've got a factory-line setup for bebs ... you pull a lever and a baby pops out! um k then you make sure it doesn't fall down (but it can still stand okay? wtf) and then you give it a toy, then you give it a bottle ... all while it's rolling down the conveyor belt uh oh it's spit up. better get it a towel to clean the gross spit-beard off okay now it has peed in a puddle on the belt (maintenance must have hella turnover here) so i gotta pop it in a bathtub WTF IT JUST GOES UNDER THE WATER AND BUBBLES THAT IS NOT HOW YOU WASH A BEB now put the poor traumatized child to sleep OH GOOD LORD THE BABY JUST GOES FLYING OUT THE BOTTOM OF THE BLIMP GOODBYE SMALL CHILD ...rinse and repeat???
I went back and played the Beauty Spa Panic game because I was curious how long it lasted. I maxed everything out and bought everything, and almost hit 10k extra, but was stopped after day 15 I believe. I was voted employee of the month, despite not actually working here. I've bought them equipment, high end equipment, entirely renovated their building, and aside from handful of angry customers, have positive as fuck reviews. (The angry people don't count against you, it's kind of nice.) They owe me thousands of dollars for labor and design and such. I'll likely never see a dime in game for that considering I got it in my head to take over the business once the crazy lady ran off into the night with her suitcase.
Anna's Valentine Baby [X] ok first off, applause to her actually looking kind of tired and having her hair messy, she looks really tired. also shoutout to not a direct trace. The music is slow and sleepy and kind of reminds me of christmas music for some reason. Kristoff looks like he shoved modern!Hans in a locker and stole his jacket. Spoiler: Birth By Pizza Cutter and Baby Thieves apparently they were enjoying valentines day dinner when WHOOPS BABY IS COMING, CUT THE SHIT SHORT, SAVE THE CAKE, HAUL ASS. You have to hunt down all her hidden items by candlelight. Awkward, but interesting. Huh. Kind of charming actually, if you imagine how dark it might be at dinner time. things look modern/old at the same time, it's an odd mix. No complaints so far. Push, breathe. Push breathe. She's not sexy posed, she's not in a modern hospital, she's in bed with a blanket over her bits and her stomach, wearing a long sleeved comfy shirt and looking exhausted. That's a quick way to very painful delivery but considering it's a kids game, again, no complaint so fa- is that a magic ball. i clicked the magic ball on prompt and.. it summoned one of those troll things, the rock ones. and the tum is now uncovered. ...M- ... Magic dust on the tum. oh, they're using that to look at the baby and check on it since no technology scans. Oh no! the baby is in the wrong position! Liquid pain relief potion thing. She hasn't opened her eyes since, I think she might be high as a kite now. I can't tell what this is, a duster? It's like a pinwheel.. What i ITS LIKE A FUCKING PIZZA CUTTER, HOLY CHRIST, I GAVE HER SOME PAIN MEDICINE AND DID A C-SECTION, BABY POPPED OUT. LOOKS KINDA NORMAL. STITCHED HER UP. THE TROLL MAGIC POOFED AWAY WITH THE BABY. WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO, GET BACK HERE WITH THAT, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING SHE JUST POPPED IT OUT DON'T POOF IT AWAY, THIS ISN'T THE FAIRLY ODD PARENTS, YOU GET BACK HERE YOU STONY FUCK. oh there's the baby. Okay. ...It has a snowflake for genitals. Elsa's babies are seasonal allergies, and Anna's is frozen. Wipe all the fluids off it, make it stop crying. ...Oh! Gender neutral didee color option. Pink, blue, and yellow. I guess so you can imagine whatever you want to be what they had instead of something solid? Wrap it in a blankie. Aw, cute options.. Olaf is an option, but I like the one based on Anna's cape outfit. It's got bobbles. <3 Clear the nose while it giggles (don't babies not giggle for a while?) Give it smooches on its head and cheeks. Give it a big bottle. Happy family with Anna in bed in the center holding the baby, saying she's gonna name it Valentine. Olaf's there and somehow not melting despite no snowcloud. AND THE BABY THIEF. BABY THIEF OFF TO THE SIDE JUST CHILLING. I noticed nice little extra design touches, I enjoy the work on this, but holy shit that troll needs to leave.
Ladybug games are coming. Oh god. New wave of popular thing, yas. Ladybug Resurrection Emergency [X] . Spoiler: Chat Noir: Médecin Certifié. ... Adrien you're a doctor?? I'm sorry, I mean Chat. chat noir when the fuck did you do medical school. I don't even know your show but my dashboard has taught me enough that I am side eyeing the fuck outta you rn. Why are your arms so short. Why are you in a doctor getup in a hospital setting, both in costume. Why is she dying aside from the memo of she fought a villain. WHY ARE YOUR ARMS SO SHORT AND WHAT'S WITH THE ZOOLANDER FACE. ADRIEN, WTF HAPPENED. Did she died? She died. Yep. Flatline. GASP. ITS THE SAME AS THE RAPUNZEL THING. COMPRESSIONS. LOTSA COMPRESSIONS. OK, ON TO THE NEXT EQUIPMENT. ... NO NOT THAT ONE, THAT ONE. MORE CHEST PRESSIES. OXYGEN. ZAP THE FUCK OUT OF HER, MAKE HER HAIR STAND UP FUNNY. and then go back to perfectly coiffed. THIRD TIMES A CHARM. .... except when it isn't. we are gathered here today to zap the bitch a fourth time. ... oh! she's up, good, bonjour mademoiselle, comment allez-vous? Ah? Good, good, excellent. Got an IV through the ladybug suit, no less, the doctor must be excellent at finding veins through skin tight catsuits. ... I mean. leotards? no, leotards aren't usually full body are they? superhero thingys. miraculi. AMAZING ONESIES. Here's your Dr. Mario pill. Still kinda parched from the whole being dead for 5 minutes thing? How about a nice glass of water. Huh. I won. I also just noticed her feet are bare? Like. I see toesies in the onesie. Is that normal? Is she usually barefoot looking with a ladybug skin? Also I just spotted my next game, oh boy.
Miraculous Ladybug Pregnant Checkup [X] IN HER MASK NO LESS. THE FETUS HAS A MASK. EVERYONE HAS A MASK. Spoiler: YOU GET A MASK. AND YOU GET A MASK. But not you. you don't get one. Oh god, game started, she's actually in the miraculous getup even while out to whoa. That thing stretches like crazy, why is nobody on your ass about being safe while pregnant? Isn't that risky?? Are your ankles swollen? Do you need a nap, some water, some common sense?? Into the weird surgical garb we go, tum out, skirt on, and teeny tiny surgery top + hat... NO, LEAVE THE MASK, IT'S ATTRACTIVE. I GUESS. WHO ARE YOU AGAIN, MA'AM? SO MYSTERIOUS. ok temp is fine, you're not cooking. Somehow. Was that costume latex? Do you need some fluids, seriously, i'm concerned here. You do have a heart, yes, and your tum does measure. It has mass. A lot of mass. Blood pressure's good, not gonna explode soon, I guess that's alright considering all the job related stress, that's good to hear. You are the exact same skintone and body as the Elsa game earlier, but your head is pasted on, I can see the line. The lazy shits. IT'S THE SAME BABY NOW. WHAT. WHAT?? THAT'S THE SAME BABY THEY SHOWED WITH ELSA BEFORE. NO MASK, UNLIKE IN THE MENU. zoom in. DIFFERENT BABY. ZOOMING IN MADE MOST OF ITS HAIR FALL OUT. ARE YOU OKAY? BABY IN DISTRESS?? Good health. Yes. Good. Not Dr. Mario brand pills here now, it's from a blister pack. EAT THE FUCKING APPLE, MARINETTE. creepy harpsichord music on the tum. Sick spraypaint tum tattoo. That baby is blonde, lost hair AND a ladybug mask in utero, and you're just chill as hell. where did you lock Adrien away at that he's not freaking the fuck out over your bad decisions to go on the job when you're like. 8-9 months along. WHAT DID YOU DO, MARINETTE?
Oh Operate Now games. I forgot how fucking gory you were. 8) I re-wet my whistle with Scoliosis Surgery after a long time away, but all of them are good. Just. Need a strong stomach sometimes. For some reason, parts of realistic medicine games squick the shit out of me, yet I still play. They offer realistic step by step instructions, and harder modes as you may want. There's a ton in the series.
I should also say: I will play recommended games, or poke at weird things people find. In the meantime: doctor games, clean up/treatment games, dating games, food games, or those fun lil busy games? or just random shit belonging to a franchise. I'd love to take suggestions.
Okay so, I went to click a game, it was going so fast that I didn't bother to do a play by play. turkey game, fairly basic. It gives step by step instructions. .... There is a jumpscare-ish moment, but the joke is worth it. Oh god is it worth it. Touche game. If you wanna try it, just turn your volume down a little and be aware something will jump and be loud at some point, it's not gore or horror or anything, it's just meant to be silly. Linky to game [X]
