Kintsugi Kitchen

Discussion in 'Make It So' started by jacktrash, May 19, 2015.

  1. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox

    MEATBALLS. i did not shun them. i eated them. on rice. ooooh so good.


    behold, this is how you meatball!

    • 1 lb lean ground beef
    • 2 eggs
    • ~ 1 cup bread crumbs or crumbled up saltines
    • 1 small onion, minced
    • 1 scallion, minced, or about 2 tbsp minced chives
    • salt and black pepper to taste
    • oil or butter
    • 2 cans beef consomme or about 4 cups strong beef broth
    • buncha carrots
    • corn starch
    • water
    put the beef, eggs, crumbs, onion, scallion, salt and pepper into a great big bowl. take your rings off, roll up your sleeves, and moosh it all together with your hands until it's uniformly stiff-gooshy and sticks to itself. i've tried to use the dough hook on my stand mixer, it's not good enough. you gotta get your hands in it.

    touch the meat. touch it.

    pinch off golf-ball-sized pieces and roll them into balls, arranging them on a plate for now. when you've finished and washed your hands (which takes a while, that bread crumb stuff really sticks when it gets eggy), preheat a great big skillet (or two regular ones i guess) with a bit of oil or butter in it over medium-low heat. when the oil is hot, place the meatballs in the pan, arranging them so they're not mashed together. they can be touching a little, but don't cram them. you can brown them in batches if you don't have room, it's better than letting them get soggy because there isn't room for the steam to escape.

    brown them on one side, turn them and brown them on the other. you could keep turning and browning until they're brown all over, but it's not necessary; you want that seared-hamburger flavor, and they don't have to be cooked through now. because the next stage is, you pour the consomme or broth in with them (undiluted!) and cover them. turn the heat down low, and let them simmer for A While, turning them occasionally so the broth gets all over.

    put the carrots in a bit before the end, depending on how thin they are; skinny baby carrots like in my picture, give them half an hour. big fat grownup carrots halved or quartered, they might want 45 minutes. basically just cook them until they're done, the meatballs just keep getting better the longer you simmer them.

    when you're ready to eat, remove the meatballs and carrots to a serving dish with chopsticks or a slotted spoon. mix 1-2 tbsp of corn starch (depending on how thick you like your gravy) with half a cup of water, mix that into the broth, and turn the heat up. stir it until it's clear and has come to a rolling boil. 1 tbsp starch won't produce a noticeable thickening, just a richer mouthfeel; 2 will give you an obvious gravy consistency. pour this gravybroth goodness over the meatballs and carrots.

    it's delicious over rice or pasta, or you can just eat it on its own.
    • Like x 8
  2. Vast Derp

    Vast Derp Professional Griefer

    should we merge the low spoons megathread wiht this, do you think?
  3. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox

    eh, i think low spoons food is kind of a different topic.
    • Like x 1
  4. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    If we're goin' all dumpling, how about tamales?
  5. Aondeug

    Aondeug Cringe Annoying Ass Female Lobster

    • Like x 1
  6. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox

    recipe me a tamales, rigs. do it.
  7. winterykite

    winterykite Non-newtonian genderfluid

    My notes and recipes are at home, and I'm at uni, but I can give you these:

    Cheese Mashed Potatos

    1) Cook Potatos, and drain. Apparently you can do this with instant mashed potatos, buuuut...
    2) Cut melty cheese into the potatos, half the weight of the potatos.
    3) Mash the hell out of it
    4) Add some butter, and spices of choice (salt, pepper, chili, chives, whatever else you throw into potatos)
    5) Optional: Add some fried bacon bits
    6) Optional: Fry some chopped onions with the bacon, and throw those in, too

    Banana curd
    1) Cut one banana into one packet of curd
    2) Mash the hell out of it
  8. Lerxst

    Lerxst salty parabola

    Here's how to make a really damn good barbecue sauce. Be advised that my measurements aren't just fuzzy, they're downright hirsute and this is a guesstimation of what goes into the pot. Also this sauce is definitely on the sweet side, so keep that in mind if you like or don't like that sort of thing.

    For a single serving for little smokies (aka cocktail weenies) or dipping purposes:
    1. Drizzle some olive oil or butter in a pot, dump in a teaspoon each of minced garlic and minced onion. If you can't deal with mincing your own, pre-minced garlic in a jar works fine and you can leave the onion out. Saute that stuff for a few minutes.
    2. Add about 1/4 cup of ketchup, a tablespoon of brown sugar, a tablespoon of bourbon, a few drops of Tabasco, and maybe a little Worcestershire sauce. Stir till the sugar dissolves, simmer gently on low heat and stir occasionally until the alcohol cooks out and the sauce thickens up some.
    3. Other things I've added: maple syrup in place of some of the brown sugar, a spoonful of grape jelly--barbecue sauce is meant to be personalized, go nuts.
    4. If you're using this for little smokies, just dump the smokies right in the pot you made the sauce in, stir to coat them, put the lid on the pot, and leave them there on medium-low-ish heat until the smokies are hot and plump. Same for link sausage; you can slice that up first and just throw it in the pot if you don't have a grill.
    5. I have not tried this sauce with pulled pork yet but imagine it would be fucking amazing. Maybe add some crushed pineapple.
    • Like x 2
  9. Kaylotta

    Kaylotta Writer Trash

    mmmmm maple syrup would go FANTASTIC in a barbecue sauce. sounds damn good, @Lerxst, imma write that one down.

    here's my pulled pork recipe:
    4 lbs pork shoulder roast
    1 teaspoon vegetable oil
    ½ cup ketchup
    2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
    1 tablespoon vinegar
    ½ cup apple cider vinegar
    ½ cup chicken broth
    1 tablespoon prepared yellow mustard
    1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
    3/8 cup brown sugar
    1 teaspoons garlic powder
    ¼ teaspoon mustard powder
    ¼ teaspoon salt
    1 tablespoon chili powder
    1 ½ teaspoons dried thyme
    1 large onion, chopped
    2 large cloves garlic, crushed
    • mix together all dry ingredients
    • mix together all wet ingredients
    • mix dry and wet ingredients together
    • add onion and garlic to sauce mix
    • put pork roast in slow cooker
    • cover with sauce
    • turn roast to coat
    • cook on low 6-8 hours or on high 4 hours (internal temp should read 160 F)
    • pull pork with a pair of forks and stir to coat in sauce
    • cook for 30 mins more on high or 1 hour on low
    • serve with buns
    if you haven't got apple cider vinegar, white works just as well, but you do lose a little bit of taste. you could probably experiment with subbing in some apple juice in place of the chicken broth, or half and halfing it. also, the recipe calls for some powders and some prepareds - feel free to mix your own mustard or use a different kind (Dijon maybe), and you can never go wrong with fresh crushed garlic.
    • Like x 2
  10. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    Alright then. Tamales! This takes a long time and makes a great and mighty shitload of tamales. Good thing they freeze really well.

    The seasoning on these is really loose--you can make them crazy hot or really mild. It all depends on the chili sauce.


    3-4 lbs pork shoulder
    1 onion
    6-10 cloves garlice, divided
    15 big red dried chilies (Anaheim or New Mexico)
    2 tsp cumin
    2 tsp flour
    6 cups masa harina corn meal
    50-60 corn husks
    maybe some lard--depends on how much fat you get with the pork
    optional: dried hot peppers to taste


    Get yourself a big old hunk of pork shoulder, say three or four pounds (that's maybe 1.5 kilos in the rest of the world). You can often get "country style ribs" very cheap and that's just slices of pork shoulder. If you got the big hunk, cut it into big pieces so it can cook quicker; if you got the "ribs", those are just the right size. Trim off any obvious big hunks of fat, but don't throw them out. If you got a real shoulder with a bone, don't throw it out, either. Put it in pot with the rest of the meat.

    Toss the pork in a slow cooker or anything you can use to slowly cook something at low heat. Add one onion--quartered-- and some garlic. 3-5 cloves is about right. Add a little salt and enough water to cover everything. You want about 10 cups (2.5 liters). Let it cook for 2-3 hours until the meat falls apart.

    When the meat is done, fish it out of the cooker and rip it all apart. It's gonna be wicked hot, so be careful!

    DON'T THROW OUT THE COOKING LIQUID! We're gonna use that later. Let the liquid cool down and skim off the extra fat from the top. KEEP THAT SKIMMED FAT! You don't have to be crazy about getting every last drop of fat out, but you don't want a layer of it on the cooking liquid.

    Take the ripped up meat and spread it all over a baking sheet. Crank your oven up to Chernobyl temperature and pop the sheet of meat into it for a few minutes. You want to add just a little brown and crispy to the meat, but don't dry it out. When it looks good, take the sheet of meat out of the oven and put it somewhere to cool off. Eat a little of this now super-delicious pork with your fingers--you've earned it!


    This is where you can get really creative and it's where the heat comes in. You can start the sauce while the meat is cooking if you like

    Get yourself 15 big red dried chilies--something like Anaheim or New Mexico chilies. If you want a lot of heat, get one or two (or more) little dried super hot chilies. Clean out the stems and seeds from the chilies. Throw those away.

    Put the dismembered chilies in a big bowl and cover them with hot water--a couple cups? Maybe a liter? Let them sit for half an hour and rehydrate.

    After they've soaked, put the rehydrated chilies and about 2 cups (half litre) of the soaking water in a blender. Add two teaspoons cumin, a couple cloves (3-5) of garlic, and a little salt to taste. Blend the shit of this--you want this smooth.

    If you're doing this while the meat is cooking, you have to wait and finish the meat now.

    Take 2 teaspoons of the skimmed fat from cooking the meat and 2 teaspoons of flour and make a roux in a pan big enough to hold all the sauce and the meat. Once you have a nice roux, toss in the chilies from the blender and let it cook for a few minutes until it thickens. If it gets too thick, add a little more of the chili water. When the sauce looks and smells good, toss in the pork from the meat sheet and mix it all together and heat through.

    OK, now you have some delicious chili-flavored pork so it's time to mix the . . .


    Get a big bowl and put six cups of masa harina flour in it. Add the rest of the skimmed pork fat--up to 3/4 cup. If you don't have enough skimmed fat, you can make up the difference with lard. Mix it up well so you get kind of a mealy textured bowl of masa and pork fat.

    Add six cups of the meat cooking liquid to the masa and pork fat and mix it up until you get a smooth, thick paste.


    You need corn husks! Don't try to use anything else. Go to the bodega or wherever and get corn husks.

    Soak 50 (yes 50!) in warm water for about half an hour. You can do this while the chilies soak. When the husks are soft and pliable, take them out of the water and shake off excess water.

    Tamales are steamed, so you need something to steam them in. I have a stockpot with a pasta strainer insert that works well. Whatever you use, it's time to get the water boiling so you can start cooking the tamales.

    For each tamale, you need one corn husk, two tablespoons of masa, and one tablespoon of meat/sauce. Lay down a wide stripe of masa on a husk, put the meat/sauce on top of that. Then fold the husk on each side of the strip over the filling and fold up one end--the folded up end will be the bottom of the tamale.

    Stand the uncooked tamales up in whatever contraption you will be using to steam them. When your steam tray or whatever is full, pop it in your steam filled pot (don't let the tamales touch the water!) and cook them for 45 minutes.

    After 40 minutes, you have a tray of tamales. THESE ARE SUPER HOT AND WILL BURN YOU IF YOU MESS WITH THEM! Carefully take them out and let them cool.

    Yup, you burned yourself by opening one too soon. I told you they were super hot, but I understand, because you've been smelling delicious tamales for 45 minutes and couldn't help yourself.

    Eat as many as you can today and freeze the rest.

    Last edited: May 21, 2015
    • Like x 10
  11. Aondeug

    Aondeug Cringe Annoying Ass Female Lobster

  12. Fish butt

    Fish butt Everything is coming together, slowly but surely.

    @rigorist because of your avatar pic, I can't help but seeing you as an incredibly helpful and enthusiastic mob boss. That recipe is awesome!!
  13. rigorist

    rigorist On the beach

    My inspiration:

    • Like x 2
  14. Emma

    Emma Your resident resident

    I made dinner for the entire house today (there's seven of us in total), and everybody really loved it! It's an old family recipe, and my housemate even went to get his notebook so he could write down what I was making :)
    Made me feel really good, to be honest.
  15. Void

    Void on discord. Void#4020


    A.) I am super lazy
    B.) I love sweet potatoes

    So have a super easy and yummy sweet potato bake! I have two versions, one that is like the extra decadent stuff my family makes for big meals like thanksgiving, and then a more regular meal type version.

    (Also known as my favorite food in the entire universe.)

    You will need a large can of yams. Pretty cheap, easily found in walmart! You want the big can, like the biggest they sell.
    You will need brown sugar.
    You will need a bag of marshmallows! Regular stuff, not flavored or anything. Can be small or large, that is up to you.

    Oven to about 350f, get a high sided baking dish
    Pour yams into dish, DO NOT DRAIN. Mix in like... as much brown sugar as you want. Depends on how sweet you like it. If you don't want the yams too sweet, forego the sugar.
    Layer marshmallows on top of that bad boy. Yeahhhhhhhh!!!
    Stick in oven, no top.
    Cook until marshmallows are literally golden and melty and beautiful. You want them caramelized and amazing. They need to be crunchy.
    Ta-dah! You made literally my favorite dish ever. Spoon it onto a plate and have at it.

    Version two! AKA: Void loves baked yams

    Get yourself an amazing sweet potato. As big as you want. I tend to go huge cuz YEAH SWEET POTATOES!!!!
    You will need honey, brown sugar, cinnamon (optional), tin foil, and a baking pan.

    Preheat oven to like 400f.
    Take your yam, cut off the ends because you don't want that gross bit. It cooks better that way too. If you want, you can cut it open, or cut it in half. That is also an option. VE cut hers up into cubes, that is also viable if you want them to bake faster!

    Put the yam on a section of tin foil

    Pour honey all over that bad boy, drizzle it til you feel it's good and covered. Sprinkle some brown sugar on top of that honey. Aw yiss. Cinnamon if you're feeling really frisky about it.

    Wrap the tin foil around the sweet potato. Make sure it's nice and tight. You want all that yummy stuff to stay inside. Put it on the baking sheet.
    Stick in oven! Check it every 15 minutes until it is super soft and squishy and lovingly baked.

    You have now made my second favorite food ever! Pull it out of the oven, slap that bad boy on a plate, and eat up! If you are feeling really fancy, throw some butter on it. Because YUM butter and sweet potatoes? Good idea!
    Last edited: May 21, 2015
    • Like x 1
  16. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox


    ps i'm drooling just reading the recipe
  17. siveambrai

    siveambrai Negative Karma Engine nerd.professor.gamer

    I have a sudden craving for cheddar chile chicken meatballs. I don't have a recipe... yet. But I will post back with one when I figure it out.

    2 cloves of garlic diced
    2 med jalapenos cored, seeded, diced
    1/2 onion diced
    1 pkg. ground chicken
    seasoning (I have a McCormick's chipotle mix but chili seasoning and cayenne would work)
    salt and pepper
    shredded cheddar cheese

    Saute the garlic, pepper, and onion in a tablespoon of olive oil. When they are cooked down/browned slightly: (I got lazy and didn't make meatball so there is a split here)

    option 1: meatballs. Add slightly cooled mixture to ground chicken with egg, bread crumbs, salt, and pepper. Mix thoroughly and form teaspoon sized balls. Brown and then cover with water to steam. Top with shredded cheddar and consume. You could add the cheddar to the raw meatball mix but some would cook out during steaming and I feel like it loses some flavor.

    option 2: browned chicken. Add chicken directly to pan and mix with vegetables. Stir regularly so it doesn't burn. Add seasoning, salt, and pepper. When fully cooked, there should be some juice in the pan but no pink meat, add shredded cheddar and mix, allowing to melt. Turn off stove and eat.
    Last edited: May 21, 2015
  18. Lissiel

    Lissiel Dreaming dead

    So idk where this actualky came from but my grandmom calls it 'oaky goulash' and it is perfect comfort food.

    Chop onions, garlic, and celery. Sweat them down in some olive oil, and take out of the pan. Then brown a pound of hamburger, add the veggies back in, and add a couple cans of diced tomatoes and corn. Simmer that all together for a while, then mix in another can of water and a few handfuls of macaroni. Once thats cooked soft, mix in some cheddar and too with more cheddar, and pop the whole thing in the oven until the cheese is bubbling and starting to brown.
    • Like x 1
  19. jacktrash

    jacktrash spherical sockbox

    once again, i fall in love with a recipe on the interbutts and suddenly i don't want my Real Actual Dindins. ;_;


    isn't that the most delicious looking noms you ever saw? dashi flavored custard with veggies and chicken cooked in it, i want it so bad!

    (seebs is bringing me backed spaghetti from the place we used to go in st. paul all the time, and it is super delicious, and i know i'll enjoy it once it's here. but right now all i want is chawanmushi.)
    • Like x 2
  20. siveambrai

    siveambrai Negative Karma Engine nerd.professor.gamer

    That sounds very interesting but looking at it is making all my nope alarms go off.
    • Like x 1
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice