Kintsugi Plays Fallen Hero: Rebirth

Not everyone is on their phone, Ortega! gosh!

 

I think we should all take a second to appreciate the image of a person in ominous jagged black shapeless armor with a billowing black cape repeatedly faceplanting into the floor of a garage on purpose.

 

People fear what they do not understand.

 

Headbanging got somewhere with long hair to emphasize the movement, but breaking concrete without injury will really add to the metal soundtrack of our villainy

 

Where were we… right. Having a normal chat with an old friend/nemesis, like a normal person who was not just trying to concuss themselves through a mirrored helmet.​

> "Not everybody is glued to their phone, you know."

"Not everybody is glued to their phone, you know." You try your best to sound teasing, but you wonder if you're succeeding.

"That's true," she says, the connection turning her voice slightly tinny. "Still, wish you would have called me back. I was getting a bit worried over here."

"Why? I'm not the one living the dangerous life," you say, flexing your gloved hand, watching the light reflect off the pristine surface.

"You told me that you had enemies," she says, and you curse yourself for admitting as much. "Can't blame me if I get a little worried when you disappear for a week."

"You don't have to worry," you say with a sigh as you lift your helmet in the other hand, looking straight at it with a smirk. "I'm perfectly fine."

"I'm glad to hear that. Do you have time to meet up this afternoon? There was something I wanted to ask you."

"Can't you do that on the phone?"

"It's safer in person."

"If you say so." You stop yourself from chuckling because with the jammers Dr. Mortum provided for you, there's no chance that this phone is getting traced.

"How about five? At the entrance to the Memorial Park?"

"Someone's feeling morbid." The helmet almost looks like it is smiling at you.

"It's just a park." Ortega's sigh is deep enough that you can hear it.

"Fine," you say because it's obvious she'll just keep badgering you until you say yes. Better to meet up and assuage whatever fears she has. Maybe then you can work in peace.

"See you soon then."

You hang up with a sigh of relief. Time to pack up the suit and get ready to get back into character, you suppose.

> Later That Afternoon

You could have spent money on a cab, but right now the bus provides you with a better cover. It's a tough choice deciding not to own a car in Los Diablos, but a car would be yet another way you could be tracked. Owning things is a greater trap than most people realize, and your fake name on a secondhand lease is as close as you let yourself get to normalcy. Even the phone number you gave to Ortega is unlisted.

Besides, riding the bus lets you keep a thumb on the pulse of the city; you can relax back in your seat and let your mind drift over your fellow passengers, picking at their thoughts and dreams. On days when you feel less than real, it's a great grounding exercise to be reminded of what people are like. Not people like the one whose armor you left securely stashed back at the garage, but the person you pretend to be. The person you need to be right now.

But who is that, really? What kind of act will get Ortega off your back so you can get on with your life?

　‣ I'll just be myself.
　‣ I'll keep it brief and to the point.
　‣ I'll pretend that everything is fine.

What's best practice for handling a worried friend — especially one whose mind we can't read?​

Spoiler: Show Stats (no change)

CLASSIFIED

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary
Description: An average mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short, neat curly dark brown hair.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy

Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Standard of Living: You are comfortable.

Psychological Profile

Infamy: 25% / Obscurity: 75%
████████████████████
Arrogance: 11% / Anonymity: 89%
██▒█████████████████
Ruthlessness: 45% / Empathy: 55%
████████████████████
Daring: 45% / Caution: 55%
████████████████████

Main Puppet

Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: Fine.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties, with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Josie's relationship with Ortega: old friend.
Ortega and Josie: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Barbara's relationship with Ortega: flirting.
Ortega and Barbara: 40%
████████████████████

Barbara's relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum and Barbara: 54%
██████████▒█████████

Josie's relationship with Lady Argent: distant.
Lady Argent and Josie: 0%
████████████████████

Josie's relationship with Marshal Steel: former ally.
Marshal Steel and Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Josie's relationship with Herald: distant.
Herald and Josie: 20%
████████████████████

 

Nothing to see here! Just a normal traumatized ex-superhero in hiding who is FINE.​

> I'll pretend that everything is fine.

By the time you've reached the park, you've rebuilt what you hope is a suitably cheerful facade for yourself. This doesn't have to be a problem, after all, since you are just two old friends reconnecting.

You spent enough time on the bus untangling other people's thoughts on the matter so that you feel fairly confident you can keep it up. It's been years. Ortega doesn't know you anymore, and maybe she never did. You can't quite remember how much of what you said to her in the past was a lie, and how much of it was spurred by actual emotions.

You were such an idiot back then, the only consolation being that you can avoid being one now. Smile, you coach yourself. Remember to smile with your eyes. It's the body language that reveals deception, after all, at least for the head blind.

The one worry here is that you might as well be one of those around her.

"Hey." Ortega raises her arm in greeting as she spots your approach. You automatically do the same, with what you hope is a cheerful smile.

"Don't tell me you've been here the whole time?" You widen the smile a little, hoping it comes off as friendly and not predatory. "I thought I'd have to wait at least half an hour before you showed up."

You make sure to keep your tone light and amused because being late is a habit that Ortega had in the past. Always used to blame it on phones and watches breaking down due to her powers. But you suppose that with the expensive timepiece she sported on her arm last time you met, she can afford to be on time.

"Ouch," she says with a soft laugh, as she squeezes your hand in a too-intimate greeting. "Are you ever going to let me live that down?"

"Probably not," you admit because there is a long list of things you never really want to forget. Or forgive.

"Ouch," Ortega repeats, giving you a look that makes you realize perhaps you have let your feelings through a little too strongly. "Is it too late to say I'm sorry about that?"

"It's too late for many things." The words slip out before you can stop them, and you realize that they might be exactly the wrong thing to say right now. "I mean, you can't turn back time."

"Josie…" There's a pause there, as if Ortega is using your name as a placeholder for things she's not sure how to express. You wait politely for her to finish the sentence, but when the silence drags on, you start walking aimlessly along the path instead.

"What did you expect?" you finally ask, glancing at the woman beside you. "That this was going to be easy? That we were just going to slip back into what we were?"

"I suppose I did." Ortega sighs and pushes her hands down into her pockets. She's less snazzily dressed today, but there's still that swagger to her walk that would give her away even if you couldn't see her face.

"Things have changed." You shrug a little, picking a path through the more deserted areas of the park. "We have changed."

"Well, I know I've put on a few pounds…." Ortega pats her stomach with a sigh. "But you've…" There is a pause there, and it takes you a few steps to realize that Ortega has stopped.

"I've?" You reluctantly turn around, and you can feel yourself straightening your shoulders in a challenge, losing the hunched nothingness you cultivate around yourself like a shield.

"You…look bleak." Ortega takes a step forward, but her hand just twitches. Something in your stance stops her from actually touching you. "What happened to you, Josie?"

"You know what happened. I already told you." You force yourself to remain calm, even though it feels like a slap every time she uses your name. Every time she tries to connect to a person who's not there anymore. "I don't want to talk about it anymore."

Ortega nods slowly, as if she's afraid that any sudden movement would spook you. "You don't have to talk," she assures you. "But what do you say we get a cup of coffee?"

"Coffee…" You almost laugh, because that's how people work, isn't it? When something uncomfortable happens, make sure to eat or drink something. It will make things better.

Except that it really does not: it just gives people space to start pretending again, gives them something else to focus on that is not the discomfort of the conversation. But you are through with those charades.

"Yes, you know, the black stuff you drink that gets you up in the morning?" The joke is a fair attempt; you have to give her that.

　‣ Why not? I play along and act like nothing is wrong.
　‣ No distractions—I try to get this over with fast.
　‣ I get angry. Why is Ortega concerned about me, anyway?

Spoiler: Show Stats (no change)

CLASSIFIED

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary
Description: An average mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short, neat curly dark brown hair.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy

Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Standard of Living: You are comfortable.

Psychological Profile

Infamy: 25% / Obscurity: 75%
████████████████████
Arrogance: 11% / Anonymity: 89%
██▒█████████████████
Ruthlessness: 45% / Empathy: 55%
████████████████████
Daring: 45% / Caution: 55%
████████████████████

Main Puppet

Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: Fine.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties, with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Josie's relationship with Ortega: old friend.
Ortega and Josie: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Barbara's relationship with Ortega: flirting.
Ortega and Barbara: 40%
████████████████████

Barbara's relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum and Barbara: 54%
██████████▒█████████

Josie's relationship with Lady Argent: distant.
Lady Argent and Josie: 0%
████████████████████

Josie's relationship with Marshal Steel: former ally.
Marshal Steel and Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Josie's relationship with Herald: distant.
Herald and Josie: 20%
████████████████████

 

I've discovered Josie's problem, they need to have a snack when they think they hate everyone.

Also why not (we just got to this conversation! Let's see what happens! Also I feel bad for the hypothetical Ortegaquest viewpoint)

 

Next Rangers anti-villainy commercial, teaming up with Snickers! You're Not You When You're Hungry

 

maybe we could have gotten the good ending, if we'd opted for a sweet tooth over a caffeine addiction

 

Sure, we can get coffee. After all, everything is fine.​

> Why not? I play along and act like nothing is wrong.

"Why not? I could use a bit of a pick-me-up." You give her a smile as well, and she swallows it hook, line, and sinker.

It's not hard to find a place to sit down and have a drink. Ortega comes here often enough so that she seems to know all the good coffee shops by heart. You take note of which one she picks because that information might come in handy one day. If Ortega will not leave you alone, you need to start making strategies to deal with her.

"To tell the truth, I almost thought you wouldn't show up."

"Why?" You look up from your coffee because that was an admission you had not expected.

"I don't know." Ortega pauses, almost looking a little embarrassed. "There was just a feeling I got back when we met—you felt a bit like a deer in the headlights."

"I just don't like surprises," you admit, with what you hope is a convincing laugh. "There used to be a time when I could avoid them."

"That must be a bit disconcerting." There's a brief pause there as she sips her drink, looking like she wishes she ordered something stronger. "I can't imagine how it must feel."

"No, you can't." Your laugh is slightly strangled, and you can feel your smile going stale. So you drain half your glass in one go, feeling the warmth in the pit of your stomach fortify you.

In truth, your powers are stronger than they ever were, but that counts for exactly nothing around her. You can't guess what she's thinking, whether she's just concerned or whether she suspects something.

"If you ever feel that you want to talk about it…"

"I don't." You realize when you've said the words that they are too harsh, too vicious—completely at odds with this sad, faded persona you have cultivated around yourself.

"I'm sorry?" Ortega pauses a moment, frowning a little. "Didn't know it was that sore a spot."

"What do you expect?" You know you should back down, but it's too late. "Why do we have to talk about things all the time? Does that make it better somehow?"

"It is supposed to, but you never do." Ortega has her full attention on you now, staring you down. "I've never met anyone less inclined to share than you."

"Well, maybe I have reasons? Did you ever stop to think about that?"

"Why do you think I worry so much? I don't know what the reasons are, but honestly? If they keep you from sharing with your friends, then they can't be good."

"Sharing doesn't make my reasons go away though, does it?" But you can't really muster the same kind of anger you used to have; it really does take two to argue.

"The only one who can make them go away is you. And it starts with deciding to trust someone."

The look on her face is too earnest for you to laugh in her face, but that doesn't make the suggestion any less ludicrous. Trusting someone. Trusting her. You might as well just give up your freedom and independence right away.

And yet…maybe it wouldn't hurt to let her in a little. To share the things that won't outright destroy you.

　‣ I admit that things are less than stellar.
　‣ I can't take the risk. I need to get out of here.

Spoiler: Show Stats (no change)

CLASSIFIED

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary
Description: An average mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short, neat curly dark brown hair.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy

Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Standard of Living: You are comfortable.

Psychological Profile

Infamy: 25% / Obscurity: 75%
████████████████████
Arrogance: 11% / Anonymity: 89%
██▒█████████████████
Ruthlessness: 45% / Empathy: 55%
████████████████████
Daring: 45% / Caution: 55%
████████████████████

Main Puppet

Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: Fine.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties, with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Josie's relationship with Ortega: old friend.
Ortega and Josie: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Barbara's relationship with Ortega: flirting.
Ortega and Barbara: 40%
████████████████████

Barbara's relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum and Barbara: 54%
██████████▒█████████

Josie's relationship with Lady Argent: distant.
Lady Argent and Josie: 0%
████████████████████

Josie's relationship with Marshal Steel: former ally.
Marshal Steel and Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Josie's relationship with Herald: distant.
Herald and Josie: 20%
████████████████████

 

Josie is SO GOOD at acting like a normal person who's totally fine, you guys.

 

The funniest part to me, as someone who knows how this scene works, is that

Spoiler: game mechanics spoilers?

Josie actually passes every "capable of acting normal" check in it with flying colors! It's just immediately rendered moot by failing the "capable of acting normal around Ortega" check that accompanies it.

 

I want to continue this terrible awkward conversation

 

This is some highly classified intel we're trusting Ortega with, but okay:​

> I admit that things are less than stellar.

"I…" You take a deep breath, steeling yourself. "Maybe there really is something wrong with me." You can't really overlook that anymore, even if acknowledging it doesn't really change anything.

"It's okay." Ortega's voice is calm and quiet now. "You do know I am your friend, don't you?"

"That still feels weird," you admit, blinking a bit harder than you need to. "I think I've fallen out of the habit of having friends. I don't know how to do it anymore."

"Well, that never stopped me before, did it?" You make the mistake of looking over at Ortega, and her smile is familiar enough to put a knife in your guts.

"No, that's true." You didn't know how to make friends back then either, but somehow you made it work. Maybe it was because you wanted to be normal so desperately. Because you wanted to fit in. To have friends. To have a life. Now…things are different.

"So just take a deep breath and tell me what is wrong."

The words are so honest and simple that they almost make you laugh. Tell her what's wrong. Where would you even begin?

　‣ By admitting I have a problem.
　‣ I can't do this—this conversation is over.

We can hardly tell her what's really wrong, but… if we want to, we could maybe open up a bit about the fact that we're struggling.​

Spoiler: Show Stats

CLASSIFIED

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary
Description: An average mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short, neat curly dark brown hair.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy

Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Standard of Living: You are comfortable.

Psychological Profile

Infamy: 25% / Obscurity: 75%
████████████████████
Arrogance: 11% / Anonymity: 89%
██▒█████████████████
Ruthlessness: 45% / Empathy: 55%
████████████████████
Daring: 45% / Caution: 55%
████████████████████

Main Puppet

Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: Fine.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties, with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Josie's relationship with Ortega: old friend.
Ortega and Josie: 79% (+5)
███████████████▒████

Barbara's relationship with Ortega: flirting.
Ortega and Barbara: 40%
████████████████████

Barbara's relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum and Barbara: 54%
██████████▒█████████

Josie's relationship with Lady Argent: distant.
Lady Argent and Josie: 0%
████████████████████

Josie's relationship with Marshal Steel: former ally.
Marshal Steel and Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Josie's relationship with Herald: distant.
Herald and Josie: 20%
████████████████████

 

josie: I WORK ALONE
me: FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP FRIENDSHIP

(ie, option 1)

 

> By admitting I have a problem.

"I…can't do that." You let out a soft breath, feeling your shoulders slump a little. "But you're right. I…this thing…me…it doesn't fit. Nothing really fits." The words stumble out, a bit disjointed as your mouth tries to shape what your mind won't. "Everything is a mess."

"Are you alright?" Ortega's words are cautious as well. She doesn't move, as if she fears spooking you into making a run for it. She's not wrong.

"No," you admit. "I'm a mess. I…I don't even know anymore." It almost feels like relief admitting this much, to let at least some of the unsightly baggage out in the open.

"And you can't talk to me about it."

"I really can't." If you tell her now, she'll get you help. You don't want that.

"Okay." Ortega nods, still looking thoughtfully at you. "That's your choice, and I have to respect it."

"Thank you." It feels stupid to be grateful for something as small as this, but you hadn't expected her to have learned tact.

"But…" she continues, making your stomach drop just a little. "I still think you should talk to someone. A professional."

"You want me to see a shrink?" The suggestion is absurd, but she seems to be serious.

"Yes. I really do. I mean…you've obviously been through some shit…." You both share a short laugh at that. "…And I know I am not the right person to help someone deal with shit. But there are people trained for things like that. It…helps. It really does. I know."

"You never told me you—"

"I thought you were dead because I made a bad call," she interrupts. "You and Anathema both."

"And it helped?" You can't help the disbelief. But then again, your experience with psychologists was that they were there not to help you, but to keep you under control. Another thing she doesn't know.

"It did. It took a while, but…" Ortega looks you straight in the eye. "Will you promise to go and see one?"

"That's…"

"If it's about money, I can pay." The look on your face doesn't go unnoticed. "Sorry, but I don't know how you're set for cash, and the Rangers footed the bill for me last time. I just…want you to feel better, alright?"

"I know." You reach out and touch her arm briefly because, although it is stupid and human, her concern hits hard. "I promise I'll talk to someone."

"You have no idea how much of a relief it is to hear that." The laugh is an embarrassed one, Ortega looking at you with what you think might be fondness. Enough of it to make you feel a bit embarrassed.

"I'll be okay," you promise. "Things have just been a bit rough lately."

"So now that that's over with, I don't know about you, but do you feel like doing something else soon?" Ortega chuckles a little, as if to make her proposal sound less serious. "I mean, I don't want to fall out of touch for another year."

"Somehow I don't think you'll let that happen this time," you say, trying hard not to let the caustic bite show. No, she won't let you slide back into forgetfulness; that much is written all over her face.

For better or worse, you have to deal with Ortega now on top of everything else. The question is, what tactic should you use?

　‣ Keep your enemies closer…I agree to meet again.
　‣ I keep my distance, giving her a vague answer.

Well. We've talked about our feelings. We've assuaged Ortega's worries for now. We've… agreed to see a therapist…??

… What now?​

Spoiler: Show Stats

CLASSIFIED

Secret Identity: Josie Jacobs
Gender: Non-binary
Description: An average mixed person in their thirties with brown eyes and short, neat curly dark brown hair.

Josie Jacobs is a seasoned, tech-savvy tactician.

Physical Status
Stamina: You are rested.
Willpower: You feel calm.
Injuries: You are fine, with no significant wounds.

Telepathy

Strength of Mind: 50%
████████████████████
Subtle Manipulations: 74%
██████████████▒█████

Standard of Living: You are comfortable.

Psychological Profile

Infamy: 25% / Obscurity: 75%
████████████████████
Arrogance: 11% / Anonymity: 89%
██▒█████████████████
Ruthlessness: 45% / Empathy: 55%
████████████████████
Daring: 45% / Caution: 55%
████████████████████

Main Puppet

Name: Barbara
Puppet Status: Fine.
Description: A tall white woman in her twenties, with blue eyes and long straight blond hair.

Allies and Enemies

Josie's relationship with Ortega: friend.
Ortega and Josie: 79%
███████████████▒████

Barbara's relationship with Ortega: flirting.
Ortega and Barbara: 40%
████████████████████

Barbara's relationship with Dr. Mortum: flirting.
Mortum and Barbara: 54%
██████████▒█████████

Josie's relationship with Lady Argent: distant.
Lady Argent and Josie: 0%
████████████████████

Josie's relationship with Marshal Steel: former ally.
Marshal Steel and Josie: 24%
████▒███████████████

Josie's relationship with Herald: distant.
Herald and Josie: 20%
████████████████████

 

That's our PC! Make the absolute vaguest statement possible, and then be flabbergasted that they could possibly be capable of being unguarded enough to mention that they have had a feeling, ever.

 

Look, trusting someone with the knowledge that they might have feelings goes against every ounce of self-preservation in Josie's body! Getting them to admit it so easily just goes to show how dangerous an enemy Ortega is.

 

Can't imagine how Ortega could possibly have divined they might be slightly less than 100% okay.